to think that working partners should do the odd night feed for SAHM's?

[BoysBoysBoysAndMe]

I actually don't mind doing all the night feeds - it's only 1, maybe 2 anyway.

My husband gets up early with the children as I do the night feeds so it works well for both of us.

However, I asked if he wanted to swap for a week or so, just so I can experience a full sleep - and he uttered the words every SAHM hates (well I do), "But I work!!!!!"

I swiftly told him never to utter that phrase in front of me again, cheeky sod, and I will continue to do the night feeds - truly not a problem.

Just wondered how do other MN'rs and partners work the dreaded night feeds? Early mornings?

YANBU - my husband and I have always shared nights equally. It's only fair (unless the working partner is an air-traffic controller, brain surgeon, or similar).

Re the housework thing. I did more when I was home on maternity leave simply because I was around more to do it! I wasn't working, and tbh most housework these days isn't hard labour! In the days when all laundry had to be done by hand, put through the mangle etc, and shopping meant trudging round a dozen different shops on foot with a heavy basket- well, that was different. But laundry these days is turning a switch. Shopping is one run to the supermarket or done on line. Anyone who can mumsnet can do internet shopping! And tbh its not hard graft to run the hoover around a couple of times a week.

I don't see this as a gender issue at all, I really don't. I think if you're home more, it's easiest as well as fairest to do the larger chunk of homestuff. And looking after children is not hard, lets be honest. I think it can be repetitive and relentless at times, especially toddler stage, and it can be isolating if you are home full time but its not HARD. as others have said, no one else is judging you, as long as your kids are fed, clothed, loved and given a reasonable mix of play, walks, down time- then they will love you back unconditionally. Its not intellectually demanding and you're not having to meet targets or deal with the sort of scenarios you need to at work.

And thats not to denigrate parenting- I think it's great and I enjoyed my time on ml and when I worked part time and had some days at home each week. But it wasn't hugely hard work. It doesn't mean people aren't valuing it if they are just honest about it.

1. Personally, I found being at home with young children HARD. It probably depends on the personalities, but my baby NEVER stopped crying.
2. Following on from 1, I found FT work and night time babycare MUCH easier than being a SAHM. And I had a reasonably highly skilled (professional) job. callmemrs I think it is precisely the intellectual demands that make WOH enjoyable, and make staying at home mind numbing (personal opinion - I admire women who love being at home but I was useless at it).
3. If anyone finds being a SAHM a breeze, then that's great (and I am jealous), but it is not the same for all and some mums need some help. There are not many people who don't need unbroken sleep after a few weeks of not having it. The OP's DH here has NEVER done a night feed. Well, even if you BF, you can easily express a bottle of milk so that DH can do a night feed and you can sleep.
4. What happens to all the women in jobs where it is vital to be alert (pilot, gas engineer, surgeon etc) when they go back to work? They manage to do night shifts and work. I don't buy the line that ANY man has a job so crucially vital that he can't do a night shift one night a week before his day off.

In answer: if you would benefit from a night off, OP, then YANBU to ask your DH to do a Friday night whilst you sleep for 12 hours.

Yes I agree, I have said right from the start that I think in a normal WOHP/SAHP scenario the working parent should do one weekend night. That way, neither parent is having non stop broken nights . I am also with you on the personal view about SAHP- it would drive me nuts not to have the stimulation of work. I would not want to be at home full time- but not because its hard, it's the fact that it can be isolating and repetitive in some aspects.

I just find it a bit odd when some women post that they think the working parent should always do half and half including night time wakings. I think thats taking the piss if you are home full time!