to think that working partners should do the odd night feed for SAHM's?

[BoysBoysBoysAndMe]

I actually don't mind doing all the night feeds - it's only 1, maybe 2 anyway.

My husband gets up early with the children as I do the night feeds so it works well for both of us.

However, I asked if he wanted to swap for a week or so, just so I can experience a full sleep - and he uttered the words every SAHM hates (well I do), "But I work!!!!!"

I swiftly told him never to utter that phrase in front of me again, cheeky sod, and I will continue to do the night feeds - truly not a problem.

Just wondered how do other MN'rs and partners work the dreaded night feeds? Early mornings?

I see no point in a man getting up to hand a woman a baby so she can breastfeed. That seems completely pointless to me. I did and do all nightfeeds as both of my children were/are BF. I really couldn't be arsed to express just to get DH to do a night feed, and neither of my babies were keen on bottles anyway.

DH is sahp I work FT in a busy demanding job
I do night feeds - have done for both children - about 6 years since I had a continuous period of sleeping through
For us it works - each to their own really, DH doesn't survive on lack of sleep I do

Why not davey? Especially if it's chilly! I assume the crying would wake them anyway and they could go straight back to sleep. Not too much to ask surely?

Why not?

Why though? To prove a point? It's absurd.

The baby's cot is on my side of the bed. I have full use of my legs, why on earth would I tell DH to pass her to me, just so his sleep gets interrupted too?

I sleep lightly and DD gets nowhere near full on cry mode before I am up to her.

I can perhaps see your point if baby is still small davey, but my DS was still on 3 feeds a night until 11m and was in his own room. DH went to get him, didnt just pass him over the bed

I think it depends a bit what he does - if he's a brain surgeon, air traffic controller, or could otherwise screw things up big time if he's too tired to concentrate, fair enough. If he works in an office and doesn't have direct, immediate responsibility for people's lives, but rather for bits of paper, then I think he should play his part

You might not but another mum might if the child was in another room. Also some men actually want to be involved in the night time care of their children - I know dh did. Different strokes and all that.

Blimey, so if you're a SAHP you work 24 hours a day because your DP WOH 8-10 hours a day?

Well as long as you're happy I suppose, but surely your arse gets sore from having feet wiped on it all the time?

DH and I alternate nights, no-one gets too tired, we each have undisturbed sleep on the nights we're not on duty. Works for us.

I really thing given how few unbroken nights sleep you've had in such a long time your DH really needs to step up and do his share. His job sounds like he shouldn't be too tired but it's not in the league of pilot or surgeon. He should be able to manage a single feed 2 or 3 nights a week I reckon especially when he's not working. Having constantly broken sleep is awful and he really should be giving you a break.

I'm not a SAHP, I'm on maternity leave. The purpose of that leave is care for our newborn baby. And I really don't work 24 hours a day or anything like it. Not even 8 or 10 tbh.

Also some men actually want to be involved in the night time care of their children - I know dh did. Different strokes and all that.

How hilariously smug. Yes, clearly my Edwardian husband doesn't give a shit.

Your husband must truly be amazing if he can breastfeed TheSkiiingGardener.

The idea of someone else doing night feeds is alien to me because I bf. DH is off the hook for that reason.

However, if I ff, I would expect some sharing of night feeds, perhaps not a 50:50 split, but something. The "working" partner (and by that I mean the one in paid employ) might have a role that occupies them for 40 or so hours a week. Why should the SAHM have a job description that demands 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?

Do not ignore sleep deprivation it can have a major impact on your health and that of your kids. YANBU, you need your sleeep. You also need to prioritise your sleep and with the other child at school you can catch up with sleep during the day.

OP: Why doesn't your DH do night feeds on the weekends?

The disparity here is ridiculous. He's never been up in the night for five years???

If dh could grow functioning boobs, yeah, that'd be great.

Till then, I'll just soldier on, given that I can take a 2hr kip when ds2 naps and ds1 is at school.

If I were working, I'm damn sure I wouldn't take kindly to being woken in the night if dh was at home during the day. I catch up on sleep if I need to, and he'll get up at 6 if it's been a rough night.

Ds2 wakes every 2 hrs at least and is 18mths - I am fucking knackered - but I am not in charge of 30 kids during daylight hours, so he gets the sleep.

It wasn't meant to be smug davey but it has obviously touched a nerve!

Even if the op's dh needs to be fully rested for his job ge could get an early night to compensate if he WANTED to do any night feeds which he clearly doesn't.

No, really not touched a nerve. Well, only my "smug nasty MNer alert" nerve. Really hasn't driven into a dark night of the soul reflecting that my husband doesn't care enough about our children, which was clearly the intention.

Sorry about that.

I have worked with a small baby and will again. IMO it's much easier being at home and being knackered than in a busy job making important decisions.

Well the reason I thought it had touched a nerve is because you are being ridiculously defensive.
For the record my comment wasn't even aimed at you - I quite agree that it would be ridiculous for your dh to get out of bed, walk to the other side and pass the baby to you. I was talking about women who might want help if their babies no longer shared their room and dh's who would want to help in those circimstances. Since you had said 'I see no point in a man getting up to hand a woman a baby so she can breastfeed, I was making the point that for some women it may be helpful.

I'm not being defensive. You are being unpleasant. Your post in question was directly addressed to me, it began "you might not...".

If you wish to backtrack from the unpleasantness of your post I can't blame you, however.

When DS was born, DH did the evenings up until 2am then I took over ( He works and I'm on ML) but I did the early starts too................even at weekends.
< puts victim hat on>

The part you inexplicably took offence at was not directly addressed to you. If you are going to get SERIOUSLY offended by a general comment saying that some dh's like to help out with the kids at night then it looks like it has touched a nerve. What's the saying - if the cap fits?

Agree diamond

As a SAHM (not any more worse luck) DH didn't 'just' do a 8-10 hour day. He came home and helped me with baths, food, reading stories, changing and (during colicy years) walking around the house for hours with screaming baby.
I always got up at night as I could potter around until 10am the next morning didn't have to get up at 6am.

I find it strange that people don't consider falling asleep or being zombie-like when caring for young children important.

What's the saying - when in a hole stop digging? You really are coming across as thoroughly nasty in all honesty.