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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be upset with wedding and wondering if friendship has future.

671 replies

IHeartKittensAndWine · 15/11/2011 21:36

Lifelong friend (school and university and beyond) to whom I have always been close and trusted (and I find it difficult to trust people) is getting married just before Christmas. When she set the date of the wedding DH and I changed the date of our flight for our Xmas holiday to make it (he is good buddies, but not as close to her husband to be).

I received the invitation a few days ago. She has invited us to the church bit and the mince pies and mulled wine bit directly after, which is given an hours slot on the invite. We have not been invited to the reception proper - I know this because a) I helped her choose the venue (as in I recommended it and she invited me on scouting trip up) and b) she put a handwritten note on the bottom of the invite - so sorry we can't include you due to numbers darlings but we wanted to give you an experience of a wedding in XXX beautiful English town anyway.

I have since discovered that every mutual friend is going to the reception. But what really grates that fucking note at the end of the invite. I know that city like the back of my hand and I don't need or desire the experience of a snowy wedding there because ... I've been to half a dozen weddings there which she has also been to BECAUSE IT WAS OUR UNIVERSITY TOWN. I wanted to celebrate her happy day with her and our other friends, not be treated like some needs to be accommodated gawper.

I feel patronised and humiliated. I can't tell if this is my depression talking. DH says I should give her a call and say, calmly, that it is patronising and we won't be going.

OP posts:
TartyMcFarty · 15/11/2011 22:06

Did she know about the flights?

ShirleyKnot · 15/11/2011 22:06

Oh I hope it's a mistake!

thisisyesterday · 15/11/2011 22:07

sorry, just seen that I am way late with that suggestion

SugarPustyBear · 15/11/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialShadow · 15/11/2011 22:08

OMG! What a shit she is.

Dont go. Decline.

Email the others and say "Sorry, wont chip in on the present, it appears I am the only one in our group not invited".

and move on.

empirestateofmind · 15/11/2011 22:08

Happy ending? That is a bit premature Boojum!

LoopyLoopsRootyFroots · 15/11/2011 22:08

drum roll.......

JugsMcGee · 15/11/2011 22:09
MULLYPEEP · 15/11/2011 22:09

She sounds priceless. Could you phone her and thank her for the invite, ask her some question to confirm who you could get a taxi back from the crappy mince pies with and when she confirms you only got half the invite, email her back, declining and say you are on holiday?

poorbuthappy · 15/11/2011 22:09

Ashamedly marking place. Blush

ginmakesitallok · 15/11/2011 22:09

I think it's a mistake - how could she NOT invite you???

bumpybecky · 15/11/2011 22:09

waits....

SugarPustyBear · 15/11/2011 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cookielove · 15/11/2011 22:10

OOOOh i found this thread just at the right time, i assume the wait means she is talking to the bride!!

MarthasHarbour · 15/11/2011 22:10

marking place

got to go to bed now Angry so will catch up in the morning

fingers crossed!

IHeartKittensAndWine · 15/11/2011 22:11

Right. Just off the phone.

She was very apologetic. Because her mum had "written the wrong note". OURS was supposed to say "hope you can make it and let's have dinner in the New Year."

It's very important that her DH's senior partner and his wife can come. And she's noticed that I'm "a little awkward in company lately" (because I am very shy and suffering from depression, which she knows).

I'm opening a bottle and stealing a fag from DH.

OP posts:
piratecat · 15/11/2011 22:11

good luck op

NigellaTufnel · 15/11/2011 22:11

OOoh call her NOW so we can all find out what happens!

(sorry, I'm being nosy, but have had hard day...)

Appuskidu · 15/11/2011 22:11

How many mutual friends are going? You say she's impressed with richer people-do those invited now all have spangly impressive jobs and you don't? Is it something as superficial as that?

thisisyesterday · 15/11/2011 22:11

hmmm what does that mean then?
pity invite or genuine mistake?

CailinDana · 15/11/2011 22:12

So basically you're still not invited to the reception?

IHeartKittensAndWine · 15/11/2011 22:12

DH's packet that is as he is out at the moment.

I am every bit as humiiated as I thought I'd be.

OP posts:
poorbuthappy · 15/11/2011 22:12

Sorry don't get that at all. What has the boss got to do with it?

neolara · 15/11/2011 22:12

Hurray! Well done for calling.

JamieComeHome · 15/11/2011 22:12

Hurrah!!! (you believed her, right?)

Well done for phoning

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