to think that DH needs to lower his expectations?

[MissIngaFewmarbles]

Before we got together DH used to have a staggeringly well paid media job in London. When he and is ex split they both moved back home to be with their respective families and DH had to take a much lower paid job. Then he met me, I've never 'had money' IYSWIM. Between us we have 4 DC, he earns good money but it's still a bit tight every month.

Aaaaanyway, to the point, I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he said he would like a new wallet, lovely I thought, I can find something really funky. Then he says that he only really wants a replacement Paul Smith one (they cost £140ish). This is higher than our usual budget for each other and TBH I just feel it's too expensive for a frigging wallet. AIBU to think he's still trying to live on his old salary and should get over himself, or am I being tight?

£140 for a wallet is sheer madness.

get one of ebay

Maybe he doesn't remember them being that expensive? I imagine wallets don't get replaced that often. But, yes, he needs to lower expectations!

£140 is way to much for a wallet. I'm sure at Christmas you could find a better use for that money. YANBU

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Paul-Smith-Wallet-/220892533150?pt=Men_s_Accessories_UK&hash=item336e38919e

this 1 is nice

It's no different really to wanting an expensive handbag or shoes. Can you afford it, and if so, how long would you expect it to last?

If it's going to last 5 years, that works out at £20 per year, which isn't so very bad really.

What's your usual budget - and how much do you normally spend on handbags?

It needs to be BNWT if it's from eBay, also it must have a coin pouch

Get him this one instead. It's made out of recycled car tyres. Which judging by my husband's reaction, is to a man what a never ending chocolate supply is to a woman.

Never spent more than £30 on a handbag or £50 on shoes. I think we are coming from such different places money-wise. Initially we had a budget of £100 each, but that is a big jump up, normally we spend £30.

It sounds like he needs to learn to cut his coat to suit his cloth. It is an adjustment when you're used to a certain budget and you have to cut back, but it's an adjustment he's going to have to make. I'm sure you can find a lovely leather wallet for much cheaper than that, and as long as it's good quality and looks nice, it shouldn't matter if it has a Paul Smith label on or not.

What robot said. If you would save up and spend that on a handbag, then YABU.

He will use it every day. I like to save up and buy nice things if I will use them every day. I don't have a lot of money, but I'd rather buy one £60 bag than 6 £10 ones. You can see from that comment that my budget is considerably less than your DH's

Maybe have a little chat about how much it is, maybe he doesn't realise.

See this is the problem with 'marrying up'.

Disclaimer: This was NOT why I married him

I can see his point though - I used to have a staggeringly well paid job and I now only like posh stuff that lasts This is why I only get one 'good' item a year (like the Westwood dress I bought from eBay for £80). I've bought no clothes for 4 months as I 'd rather have one nice thing than child-labour Primark.

A wallet is something he uses every day so having a good one is probably important to him.

It really depends on how much money you have though - maybe he really wants that one but will wait to combine it with birthday ???

He wants the one with the vintage naked lady inside it

Laurie, I agree and see his point too, but it just isn't the lifestyle we have now. The DC and I are dressed in supermarket/h&m clothes (which is fine btw, it's just for contrast).

If you normally only have a £30 budget for each other, then he is being a dick about it.

Yes he should lower his expectations.

Get him some socks from matalan :)

My DH is a bit of a dick about presents, but in the way that he buys me stuff I already told him not to, since we have no money. It is hard to tell him off for that, but we just can't afford it

mine used to have more money too OP.

Regardless of previous salary, if he knows the current state of your joint finances he shouldn't ask for presents that you (collectively) can't afford. It is childish and selfish.

Ah Nagoo, you've got it in one. We agree a budget then he spends twice that. Then I feel like a cheapskate for sticking to the budget and guilty that I have loads of lovely pressies and he doesn't. The budget has gone up this year as he has had a promotion at work so we can afford a bit more.

Klad, DH would LOVE that! Might be adding to list of possible pressies...

Slap him round the head with a wet fish

Could you say fine but this will have to be for his birthday aswell?

TK Maxx is the place for wallets and purses!

@ five

We could just about afford it, but apart from a book that I'm getting for him from the DCs that would be his only present which seems a shame.

Maybe I could get him a cool wallet and get a friend to take a (tasteful) naked pic of me and I could slot it in? Pic from behind, to waist only, tiny hint of boobs only?

I have just googled it