Excluded from Husbands Family Celebration Trip to New York

[FanjoTootie]

So, DH just came in and told me that he is to go off to New York with his family for a week celebrating Mothers 60s BDay. It appears to be an exclusive event and neither my daughter or myself (15months now - 19month at the time) are not invited.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable to be a bit miffed? Obviously there is a hint of jealousy in mixed in to things - but more that anything I'm feeling pretty hurt.

Am I being unreasonable or should I just suck it up?

Well said squeakytoy - very well said indeed. I am struggling to see why all that is so very hard for so many to grasp. Ah well - it'll probably have to remain a mystery.

I'm not so sure that NYC is unsuitable for toddlers. My friend has fallen in love with the city and has visited about 5 times in the last couple of years. They have two young children. Irrelevant though as the mil obviously wants a childfree holiday.

Yes I know.

I think we ladies should go on a week's holiday to NY!

squeaky-completely disgree. You are right it should mean that the family just keeps on growing but that family include the dil/gc who have been snubbed! It is completely selfish to ecpect your grown up child to drop everything and pander to you! and the parents got to spend plenty of time with their children-all the years growing up in fact! There reign is over now am afraid.

And yours has begun eh?

Any holiday that involves a toddler becomes centred around that toddler. You cant just do whatever you like, go whereever you like. Bars in the USA are not like in the UK, they are not obsessed with pandering to being child friendly, they concentrate on the fact that a bar is a place for adults to drink alcohol, rather than ensure chicken nuggets and a high chair are available.

timeoutnewyorkkids.com/

I would arrange a holiday of my own and not because I was scoring points.

Sadly pictish-it is only just about to begin-after 17 years of pandering to mil-I am finally putting myself and my dcs first-wow how selfish of me

pink4ever... it is a week... not a year, that they would be going for. There is no such thing as a "reign". Nobody has superior control.

Oh you selfish mare!

I go to two four day long festivals (not the big ones...just small but fabulous ones) every year without my dh and kids...just with my mates. Have done so for years. Love it!

ruby

I am finally putting myself and my dcs first-wow how selfish of me

Pretty much like the woman who is about to be 60 eh!

Again I disagree-myself and the dcs should be dh's number 1 priority now imo.

I think it's really odd and disrespectful of your child's adult choices to exclude their spouse/life partner from a family event.

And with limited amounts of holiday, I would be extremely pissed off if my partner swanned in and TOLD me he was going on holiday for a week and was expecting me to do all the childcare, rather than asking me.

I think the whole thing sucks big time. I am really shocked by some of the people here who seem to think that it's fine to leave your children's spouses and their children out of family celebrations. It's a very weird way of looking at 'family' IMO

squeaky-the mil can have her celebration-of course she can-but it should include her dil of 20 YEARS!! and gc.

You sound like you've got a whole bunch of issues there pink and probably all of your own making!

What a horrible situation to be in....of course you CAN manage on your own for a week, but thats not the point really. You have been excluded, and your DH wont even acknowledge that fact, that is bound to cause issues between you both.

Other people have suggested you have a child free week yourself..but i get the feeling its not about childfree at all, but about exclusion. You will now have a weeks annual leave to use, that your DH wont, take yourself and you DD somewhere FABULOUS, that DH would enjoy, but book it for when he has no leave left....maybe he will be a bit more understanding of you next time.

I dont understand peoples comments about ny not being a place for toddlers....are there no families with toddlers living there then?

meno-enough. really.

Well this could have been handled differently. It could have been put to the OP that it's grown ups only and if she would be willing to leave children they would love her to come. I don't think this would happen if it were son in laws, it's another one of those weird mother and son things.

Why should it though? There are no rules. MIL is the one whose birthday it is, and she is the one who gets to decide what she would like to do.

How would this have sounded

"well son, me and your dad are going to go on a trip to NY for my 60th. We would have loved to take you and your sister, as a one off.. but we cant because it wouldnt be fair on your wife and child, as we know they wont be able to come into the places we want to go, so you cant come either".

Why should the son get to miss out on spending a few days with HIS parents?

Who has a week in NY for a birthday? Weekend maybe.