about a doll's house.

[Cathycomehome]

I own a very beautiful handmade doll's house, which was my Christmas present from my parents when I was 4 or 5. My friend, who is not terribly well off, needs a doll's house for her kids for Christmas. My son played with my doll's house when he was little, but is now eleven years old and obviously will not play with it again.My brother is expecting first child in January.

So it's MY doll's house, but I store it at my mum's as I have no use for it and she has a big house.

I told my friend she can have it on a long term loan, no problem, and I might want it back later, so it's a long term loan. She was delighted.

Phoned my mum - she said "No way! It's a beautiful hand made piece, and I'm saving it for SIL's baby!" My friend is broke and needs a doll's house.I have one. It belongs to me. No one is playing with it. My brother's baby will not need it for at least 4 years, and my very responsible friend knows it is a loan,and has even offered to pay a deposit for it, which I have said there is no need to do.

I intend to lend it against my mum's wishes- am I being unreasonable?

YANBU at all, but beware lending items like that to friends, no matter how responsible!

I don't know really

I can see your Mum's POV

Although it's yours, there's every chance your friend's kids may break it/ruin it in some way and that would be a shame. It holds memories for your Mum too so no wonder she'd rather hang on and let her Grandkids play with it.

No-one needs a doll's house though

Has your friend tried freecycle and charity shops etc?

It's yours to do what you want with but if DFriend's children get it for Christmas won't they assume it's theirs forever regardless of any loan terms your DF agreed?

Its your dolls house, it was given to you as a present so its up to you if you want to lend it! Btw Asda do a very cheap dolls house for £30 and £12 for furniture.

YANBU! I also have a handmade dolls house, my Gramps made it for me. I would be furious if my Mum gave/lent it to anyone else, even though it is in her attic.

But it's mine! It was my present when I was little and I took it to all my own homes until my son was 7 and lost interest in it, and then stored it at my mum's. I am very happy for my brother and sister in law to have it,but their baby is not yet born and won't be able to play with it for years. I bought all the recent furniture (replaced the stuff I had gradually when my son was little) and I told my friend it was a loan. Maybe I am being unreasonable - I didn't think it would be an issue. My mum says she has very happy memories of playing with it with me and my son, so it's nostalgic - but wouldn't it be nice for another family to make some happy memories?

Oh no I wouldn't, there's no guarantee it won't be damaged for one, agree about the asda dolls house, very good and fine for a child that age.

Sorry, but who "needs" a dolls house? I saw one for sale in Asda for £30 the other day. Maybe she could afford that, if she was willing to pay a deposit?

Who made it? If it was your grandfather or your mother then it's understandable that your mother wants to have some say in what happens to it. Also, as it's in your mother's house at present and you haven't touched it or wanted it in years, it's sort of become hers and she is not being unreasonable to refuse to pass it on to your friend. It's not difficultto acquire a cheap dolls house.

It's yours to do with what you like, but how will you feel in the very real likelihood that it gets damaged?

Be prepared never to get it back if you do lend it to your friend!

here it is, very pretty

Keep it at your mums. It is a family piece and I'm sure she has fond memories of you playing with it and wants her grandchildren to enjoy it too. Get your friend the ASDA one if she needs one so much.

My dd has that dolls house with furniture. Or as solidgold has highlighted, look on the bay

OK. I may have to accept I was being unreasonable, but I just feel if I want to lend MY doll's house to my friend, who I know will look after it, and I actually don't feel that nostalgic about - I do like it a lot, and was glad to be able to share it with my son when he was little - then it is a toy to give joy to children, I am 34 and my son's eleven and it survived both of us with adult supervision (the chimney did need to be glued back on at one point ), then I should be able to share it with another family. It's gathering dust right now.

Forgot to add YABU.

Oh wow that ASDA one is an amazing deal!

YABU, and daft too if you treasure this, because no matter how careful your friend is, it could easily be damaged by her children and their friends, and then you will be upset.

Why not ask your mum to keep it at her house, so that your children and any of her other grandchildren can play with it there.

Its the sort of thing that is nice to keep in the family.

Your ds might want it for his kids if he has them - keep it in the family.

Yabu. And daft. You want to give away a handcrafted family heirloom.

What is more important? Keeping your family happy, or letting your friends kids trash a toy? Which they will, over time, because it is not theirs and I bet you that your friend wont urge her kids to play nicely.

There are cheap dolls houses in Asda, if your poor friend needs a dolls house.

It is.

Rave reviews too, my sis had it for my niece and it's sturdy enough.

Is it an actual heirloom or family piece if I was the first one to have it?

I think you are making a mistake lending it to anyone outside the family. Isn't it a bit weird to plan to take a child's toy back after several years in any case? Your friend's DC may find that very upsetting.