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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about a doll's house.

153 replies

Cathycomehome · 13/11/2011 22:57

I own a very beautiful handmade doll's house, which was my Christmas present from my parents when I was 4 or 5. My friend, who is not terribly well off, needs a doll's house for her kids for Christmas. My son played with my doll's house when he was little, but is now eleven years old and obviously will not play with it again.My brother is expecting first child in January.

So it's MY doll's house, but I store it at my mum's as I have no use for it and she has a big house.

I told my friend she can have it on a long term loan, no problem, and I might want it back later, so it's a long term loan. She was delighted.

Phoned my mum - she said "No way! It's a beautiful hand made piece, and I'm saving it for SIL's baby!" My friend is broke and needs a doll's house.I have one. It belongs to me. No one is playing with it. My brother's baby will not need it for at least 4 years, and my very responsible friend knows it is a loan,and has even offered to pay a deposit for it, which I have said there is no need to do.

I intend to lend it against my mum's wishes- am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 23:16

And to be fair, your friend doesnt NEED a dolls house, she WANTS a dolls house. Nobody needs one.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 13/11/2011 23:18

This one's even better for a kid that age HUGE bargain alert

mamalovesmojitos · 13/11/2011 23:18

Agree with other posters, surely friends children will want to keep it forever? You do seem really kind for wanting to help though Smile

I'm so upset that asda dont deliver to Ireland - dd would adore that dolls house and I can't afford a handmade one this Christmas Sad.

pigletmania · 13/11/2011 23:18

Well its up to the op, she is an adult, the house is hers so its up to her what she does with it!

valiumredhead · 13/11/2011 23:19

Of course it's a family piece - how do you think things become heirlooms? They had to be new at some point.

CarrieInAnotherBabi · 13/11/2011 23:19

yabu, and coming across as possibly green eyed monstor of your sil and db baby.

buy your friend a dollshouse if need be.

auntiepicklebottom2 · 13/11/2011 23:19

that one in asda is pretty big when i saw it in store, was going to get it for DD for christmas, but the one in tesco is better value for money as it comes with the stuff

direct.tesco.com/product/images/?R=211-5811

squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 23:19

Mama, have a look on ebay. Most sellers are happy to ship to Ireland. I do quite regularly.

pictish · 13/11/2011 23:21

It IS your doll's house to with as you wish....but believe me, that doll's house aint coming back from your friend's place.

You are giving it to your friend....which is fine...so long as you understand that.

You can't lend a doll's house of that calibre and expect the kids involved to just hand it back when time's up.

Who on earth has a doll's house on loan? You have a doll's house, or you don't. That's it.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 13/11/2011 23:22

I'm not jealous about my SIL's baby, I'm absolutely delighted for her and have already donated my antique swinging crib! Also, that's why I said the doll's house was a loan in case they wanted it later.

BUT, maybe I am wrong about the doll's house as lots think I am, I just know her kids wanted (not needed) a doll's house for Christmas and I've got one.

OP posts:
mamalovesmojitos · 13/11/2011 23:24

Thanks for the tip squeakytoy , will do.

auntiepicklebottom2 · 13/11/2011 23:25

anyhow i wouldn't lend it to a friend, it has became a family toy/ heirloom

Appuskidu · 13/11/2011 23:26

I don't think you can give someone a Christmas present (especially something as beautiful as this) to a child and say it's not actually theirs.

IneedAbetterNickname · 13/11/2011 23:28

I don't see the problem with lending the dolls house to a friend, I'm sure the OP is aware of the risk it MIGHT get broken, but it can be fixed! I am going to have to fix mine up before DC can have it. Surely the friends children will outgrow it too? And at that point OP can have it back, and pass it on to DB and SIL.

squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 23:28

I think you would end up regretting it. If you keep it at your mums, it will still be there or in the family when you are a grandparent yourself. I sold my dollshouse (or rather my mum did, and then gave me the money Hmm ).. and I really wish I still had it. It was a 4 floor 70's one, with electric lights and a garage (with range rover!).. and I spent hours and hours playing with it when I was a kid.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 13/11/2011 23:28

Well - the idea is that her kids will just grow out of it (as I did, and my son did) , by which time my nephew to be will be old enough for it?

OP posts:
pictish · 13/11/2011 23:28

I agree Appuskidu - it's just a crap idea all round. Sorry OP.

pigletmania · 13/11/2011 23:29

Exactly Appuskidu how can the friend give her child a dolls house for Christmas that won't be theirs Hmm. I could not do that, as others have pointed out there are so many cheap dolls houses out there, even secondhand ones on e bay. But at least it will be theirs.

squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 23:30

But cathy, friendships drift, people move away, fall out, and lose touch, more often than family tends to.. You see many threads on here about things that have been "loaned" and then the loanee has had a nightmare time trying to get the item back.

If this is something that your parents had handmade for you, I really do think it should stay in the family.

IneedAbetterNickname · 13/11/2011 23:31

Thats what I assumed you meant Cathy but seems me and you are alone here Grin

ddubsgirl · 13/11/2011 23:31

squeaky was it the lunby or carolines dolls house i had one,not as big as your one but had the lights,i lent it to my friends sister few weeks later i saw it in her bin :(

auntiepicklebottom2 · 13/11/2011 23:33

there maybe a chance that they wont grow out of it, i know i have a teddy that i will not let my kids play with incase it gets broken.

My DH has toys from when he was a kid, really old tonka trucks, old style lego ect there is no way he will part from them

PelvicF1oorOfSteel · 13/11/2011 23:33

DS has been playing with my old doll's house since he was just over 2, will the DC really grow out of it in just over 2 years? How old are they now?

squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 23:33

It was the Lunby one Grin It started off as just the 2 floors, then for the next couple of birthdays I got another storey... they sell for a fortune on eBay now too... and the furniture as well! My daft mother sold it for a few quid... grrrr!!!

thelatestthing · 13/11/2011 23:34

I don't think you've thought it through. I can see your pov but I can see your mums pov too. I think your friend shouldn't 'give' her dcs for Christmas that is really a loan, what if she breaks it, or her dcs become attached to it or she 'needs' it for another baby. There are plenty of cheap dolls houses around, probably for less than the deposit she is willing to pay.