Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about a doll's house.

153 replies

Cathycomehome · 13/11/2011 22:57

I own a very beautiful handmade doll's house, which was my Christmas present from my parents when I was 4 or 5. My friend, who is not terribly well off, needs a doll's house for her kids for Christmas. My son played with my doll's house when he was little, but is now eleven years old and obviously will not play with it again.My brother is expecting first child in January.

So it's MY doll's house, but I store it at my mum's as I have no use for it and she has a big house.

I told my friend she can have it on a long term loan, no problem, and I might want it back later, so it's a long term loan. She was delighted.

Phoned my mum - she said "No way! It's a beautiful hand made piece, and I'm saving it for SIL's baby!" My friend is broke and needs a doll's house.I have one. It belongs to me. No one is playing with it. My brother's baby will not need it for at least 4 years, and my very responsible friend knows it is a loan,and has even offered to pay a deposit for it, which I have said there is no need to do.

I intend to lend it against my mum's wishes- am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 23:35

same as the one I had

ddubsgirl · 13/11/2011 23:35

i had the caroline one,still remember the xmas i got it :) i have looked on ebay to but never won it or its been too much.
i loved mine esp at night and put the lights on the house in my dark bedroom lol was gutted even it was wrecked.

op asda have a nice one for half price if that helps x

KurriKurri · 13/11/2011 23:35

I'm probably in the minority but I agree with you OP. I think toys are to be played with, and I think toys are recyclable in the sense that they can go round lots of children and be enjoyed.

I am always lending stuff out, there aren't many material things I hold so dear that I would be bothered by someone borrowing them. In fact I can't think of any.

DH on the other hand thinks I'm crazy and is always telling me to stop lending stuff out. I guess its just a personal thing.

To me its kind of bonkers that there a dolls house sitting unused somewhere and there are some children who'd like to play with it, but people don't want to match them up.

pictish · 13/11/2011 23:36

Good point squeakytoy.

Sorry OP - your friend should take her deposit and buy the Asda one. I think you will really regret this silly arrangement where you have everything to lose and your friend has everything to gain. Not saying that she's setting out to dupe you....not at all....but she will end up keeping that doll's house, or it will end up trashed.

Pull out...pull out!

auntiepicklebottom2 · 13/11/2011 23:38

kurri, there are very few toys that my DC hold dear to there heart many toys are given away but there is the very few they have that i would never dream of giving away.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 13/11/2011 23:38

Mine is a sort of victorian terrace replica. It was hand painted, and I know my mum paid a lot for it. I just think toys are to be played with - and all the current furniture in it, I bought as the original stuff I had was chewed by my littlest brother (who is now in his late 20s!). I went to a really nice doll's toy shop in Leamington and bought nice things when my son liked it. So it's not THAT nostalgic for my mum is it,since she didn't object to me getting the stuff?

OP posts:
GreenEyesandNiceHam · 13/11/2011 23:39

If it's yours, it's yours to do with as you wish. I think it's lovely to want to share it with a friend personally.

If you're going to give your mum the final call in this one, you might as well just give it to her to do with as she feels best, and just help your friend find another one

QuintessentialShadow · 13/11/2011 23:41

How can you have the heart of asking for it back. To let a little girl play with it, get attached to it, make memories with it, then just rip it away from her?

Will the same little girl not want to own a dolls house?

You either give it to her, as YOUR present to her, or you keep it yourself.

GreenEyesandNiceHam · 13/11/2011 23:42

Nah children grow out of things all the time

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 13/11/2011 23:45

Well it's two little boys who want it - but I was a little girl, and I grew out of it - didn't bother me when my much younger brother chewed the furniture and broke the chimney off, because i was TWELVE at the time. Just got it fixed for my son...

OP posts:
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 13/11/2011 23:47

My God people on here are mean! The OP wants to give her friend a nice thing for her DD....she's generous. It's a dolls house....not an antique or something that's been pssed down the generations....the OP is a giving sort...it's HERS to give!

OP YANBU!

MrsvWoolf · 13/11/2011 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 13/11/2011 23:51

It's like the Red Hot Chilli Pepper song...."Give it away!"

That comes from a school of thought where if someone clings to things they become less of a person....it's only a thing....an object. If it will give joy, then it should be passsed on.

I DO think though OP that you should just give it for keeps or not at all.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 13/11/2011 23:51

I agree about the Asda house MrsvWoolf its FAR too pink!

KurriKurri · 13/11/2011 23:53

Mumbling - I like that concept, - that's just how I feel about this sort of thing. I think having lots of redundant stuff in your life is burdensome, give it to someone who can use it.

QuintessentialShadow · 13/11/2011 23:55

Boys, girls, it doesnt matter. If you want to gift it to her, then do that. Dont LEND it.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 14/11/2011 00:03

I am going to give it to her, not lend, having read and thought about all responses. I like her a lot and have for more than 20 years - it's a nice thing for children to play with, and she is a lovely person. who will respect the fact it's a nice thing. Thanks all.

OP posts:
goodasgold · 14/11/2011 00:03

Lending a Christmas present is not on.

valiumredhead · 14/11/2011 00:03

Good for you :)

MildlyNarkyPuffin · 14/11/2011 00:05

It's yours. It's not your mother's decision. And I think it's lovely that you want it to be played with and you want to help your friend.

Having said that, don't expect to see it come back, at least not in a recognisable state.

You say it's just a toy and not that special, but you didn't go to the ELC to buy the new furniture it needed for your DS to play with it did you? Or grab something from Argos. Your DS played with it with you. Would your friend supervise so closely?

Your friend's DCs might not be as careful as yours, and I don't mean a little chimney damage, I mean scrawling over it in pen, having toy cars racing through it, spilling drinks over it etc.

pictish · 14/11/2011 00:06

Your mother is going to be very disappointed OP. And probably a bit hurt that the beautiful thing she spent £££s on is to be passed off to a random rather than kept within the family.
I think your friend would be wrong to take it. It should stay in your family.

You can do what you like, obviously....but I think you have made a bad choice.

pigletmania · 14/11/2011 00:06

That's nice Cathy but could'nt you have bought a cheaper one for her dc like the Asda or Tesco one instead so that you can keep it in the family.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 14/11/2011 00:11

Oh Pictsh...if her Mother thinks about it she should b proud of her daughter...not dissapointed. It may have cost ""££££" as you say but what does that matter? OPs friend and her DD will be thrilled.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 14/11/2011 00:14

I think you're absolutely right, OP. She's a very old and very dear friend - my best friend of 20 years and I would do the same for one another, it's not like you're just handing it to someone you work with this month. The doll's house is well loved and will go to someone who will love it and cherish it as well.

As for your mother, she probably will be disappointed, but it's not really hers now, is it? If she'd given it to your son, her grandson, and then asked for it back so it could be played with by every grandchild, that might be different. But she didn't, she gave it to you, you kept it at your houses throughout your life until a few years ago and you've replaced all the furniture and repaired the house over time. I think you're the moral owner!

Swipe left for the next trending thread