.. to be really hacked off with my Mum over vaccinations

[MrsTwinks]

Me and DH are TTC. A passing comment from a relative about my mum and doctors got me thinking about my jabs so thought I'd better get my rubella checked.

Just back from the doctor and it turns out all vaccinations on me stopped when I was about 2. Everything. Now IIRC 1988 was pre the MMR scare, but even so I could understand that, except its all of them. They have recommended I have a polio and tetanus now, but I'm also missing BCG etc.

AIBU to be really fucked off at my mum for a)kinda for just doing it to start with but honestly really b) never bloody telling me!!

I work with kids, shes been on at me to TTC for literally years, and not once has she mentioned me not having had my jabs. The tetanus one really fucks me off too because as a teen I cut my leg open really badly on rusty metal, it got infected so bad even the holes from the stitches got all infected and she didn't let/make sure I had a tetanus booster. I suspect also she never told my Dad because he went ape when I nearly didn't have my meningitis c when I was 17. He was a SAHP with me at first as he was a student so I wonder if maybe it was only him who took me in the first place.

I'm still really mad 'cos I ust discovered it ontop of alot of other stuff she did but now its like she coulda been playing russian roulette with not only my health as a child but my kid's if I hadnt thought to check it iykwim.

and breathe

Interesting. Here's hoping there are plenty of teenage girls out there that read the information themselves and come to a sensible choice.

I wish it had been available when I was in my teens, I could have avoided this dodgy smear test nonsense that I'm going through.

Pombears - gobsmacked that anyone in the western world would question the wisdom of the current vaccination schedule? what an extraordinary viewpoint.

LaPrune - you could always try to get a titre check from your GP re: mmr immunity. Rubella would have been checked when you were pregnant, surely, and you would have been advised on what to o if you were not immne.

mumps is subclinical in over 30% of cases, so it is possible that you have had this too without noticing.

measles used to be reasonably widespread when we were children (assuming you are over 30 ), so again you may have been exposed. I know my mum dropped in a csual 'oh yes, you had measles as a baby' when I was a teenager - it was just a routine, run of the mill thing, so not somehting to particularly comment on, iyswim?

I would be bonkers angry if it turned out I'd not been given the polio vaccine. What if you'd travelled to a country where polio is still around? Bloody hell.

you had to say it didn't you? LIVID again now. Mum has been on at me to go visit her (she lives abroad half the year) and this year my DB was supposed to be getting hitched out there so was finally going. Just googled and it is a polio & TB area. And I actually asked her if I needed any jabs and she said no I'd be ok (was going to check with the dr thou thank god, but DB cancelled). So she has actually lied it appears.

oh, on the question of whether a teen can override parental wishes re: vaccines - it would be treated as any other medical issue, and the question of Gillick competence would be the deciding factor.

Silverfrog, I totally forgot about having the rubella jab and having it checked in pregnancy I am immune afaik.
Good to know about the other diseases.

Yes golden definitely up to you and your DH. Just the same as if you decided not to vaccinate then grandparents wouldn't have the choice to take them for jags.

Well I am well over 30 and Measles was not common when I was a child. We did have vaccination, and my cousin nearly died as he was too young to be vaccinated and caught it from his brother and sister.
In those days Rubella was done in school a bit like HPV now, I didn't get it done then (as I didn't trust school nurses) I wanted it from my GP but she wasn't very organised, a few years later I had the blood test which showed I had had Rubella so didn't get vaccinated at all.

BTW I think I may have had the smallpox vaccination too, but I'm not sure about that one.

Well polio the big one, TB is at least treatable with antibiotics though obv not ideal to get it! I'd get down to the GP and sort out what you need. I would bet that your mum, rather than lying deliberately, has totally underestimated the risk - or rather the potential effect of the tiny risk you'd be taking.

Yes silverfrog, gobsmacked. Genuinely and completely baffled. Have you noticed how countries where vaccinations are common don't have outbreaks of disease that contribute massively to infant mortality? Why do you suppose that is? Good luck? Fairies? Father Christmas?

But, to each their own. A child's body is indeed precious and it's entirely up to each individual parent whether or not they choose to vaccinate their child.

www.patient.co.uk/health/Polio-Immunisation.htm

Pombear - you are genuinely and completely baffled as to why I do not want ot use my child as a guinea pig for whatever the goverment chooses to roll out next?

you do realise that the Cochrane report concluded that safety testing on the mmr vaccine was inadequate? (just to take one vaccine of recent years. I am NOT talking about mmr/autism, just that safety testing overall for that vaccine was inadequate. does not leave me feeling very comfortable, tbh).

what about the fact that the swine flu jab - which was touted as perfectly safe - has now been found to be unsafe for under 5s, one of the main categories it was pushed at? nice to know that after the fact. doesn't help anyone who it affected, does it?

I can totally understand why you would not choose the route I have chosen. but to be totally and utterly gobsmacked is more than a little naive, imo.

I think the tetanus is a pretty big one actually; overriding the doctor when there was a deep wound; how did she think herd immunity would protect you against that one? And tetanus is emphatically not an ordinary childhood disease that most people ride through without problems: according to Wikipedia, in recent years 11% of reported tetanus cases have been fatal. And in the West where neonatal tetanus is not longer a problem, pretty well all cases occur in unvaccinated individuals/individuals with lapsed vaccinations. Seems pretty nasty odds to me.

Wow, Golden - you're going to have fun with your MIL, aren't you? She thinks it ok to lay down the law about 'her grandchildren' before they're even born!

I could understand the reasons behind the MMR refusal, but refusing an injured child a tetanus jab is to my mind no different from refusing to allow them to be stitched or operated on.

without in any way wantng to downplay the seriousness of paralytic polio, maybe the OPs mum has taken a view wrt the fact that over 95% of polio cases are subclinical?

which does not excuse the fact that she wants OP to visit a polio area, with no vaccination coverage and, before now, not knowing she was unvaccinated. the not knowing is key here - no informed choices can be made without knowledge.

Trouble is you can't get a single tetanus jab.

So you can't refuse - for example - pertussis - without refusing tetanus as well.

The words rock and hard place spring to mind.

And at least with tetanus you can get a passive antibody jab if you have an obvious tetanus injury.

yy, jimjams - better singles choices would mean better uptake of some jabs, as you know.

Great, I'll make sure I tell that to the man I know who's been paralysed since contracting polio at 19!

I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree silver. I personally would rather vaccinate against disease and take the relatively tiny risk of side effects, than risk my child contracting a disease that has the potential to make them incredibly ill or kill them.

LaPrune - sarcasm really not necessary.

I was just pointing out that maybe the OP's mum had factored that into her original decision?

I could get all sarcastic about other jabs too, and their effects on (my) children, but not really necessary either.

most people are completely unaware of that statistic re: polio. surely, to make an informed choice, all the facts shoudl be known?

And that just brings us back to the same old same old pombears. That the risk from vaccination is not the same for every child. Which is fine if you assume you're in the low risk category, rather trickier decision when you're not sure whether your child's individual risk is higher.

Pombear - personal choice is what it is all about. I was questioning oyu 'complete and utter bafflement' that anyone else would make a different decision form the one you make.

as I said before, more than a little naive, imo.

vaccination is not a good idea for my children. I amnot, however, completely baffled as to why someone else would make a different decision.

Pombears, I think that the silent majority generally share that opinion - thankfully vaccine uptake rates are still pretty high.

saintlyjimjams the tetanus vaccine for over 10s does not contain pertussis. It contains diphtheria, tetanus and inactivated polio.

Foreign travel offers different requirements as disease prevalence is very different to that in the UK (obviously) - many countries now have comprehensive baby/child immunisation programmes but not all, so a thorough pre-travel assessment is a good idea. And risk will vary depending on outbreaks so it can be worth checking a reputable website such as Nathnac before you travel.