.. to be really hacked off with my Mum over vaccinations

[MrsTwinks]

Me and DH are TTC. A passing comment from a relative about my mum and doctors got me thinking about my jabs so thought I'd better get my rubella checked.

Just back from the doctor and it turns out all vaccinations on me stopped when I was about 2. Everything. Now IIRC 1988 was pre the MMR scare, but even so I could understand that, except its all of them. They have recommended I have a polio and tetanus now, but I'm also missing BCG etc.

AIBU to be really fucked off at my mum for a)kinda for just doing it to start with but honestly really b) never bloody telling me!!

I work with kids, shes been on at me to TTC for literally years, and not once has she mentioned me not having had my jabs. The tetanus one really fucks me off too because as a teen I cut my leg open really badly on rusty metal, it got infected so bad even the holes from the stitches got all infected and she didn't let/make sure I had a tetanus booster. I suspect also she never told my Dad because he went ape when I nearly didn't have my meningitis c when I was 17. He was a SAHP with me at first as he was a student so I wonder if maybe it was only him who took me in the first place.

I'm still really mad 'cos I ust discovered it ontop of alot of other stuff she did but now its like she coulda been playing russian roulette with not only my health as a child but my kid's if I hadnt thought to check it iykwim.

and breathe

Oh well.

No pakdooik. No etiquette, i was just asking
They just get vile. I was hoping this one wouldn't but it is going to.
So I shall depart.

very weird behaviour. She should have told you. can't imagine why she didn't get you immunised.

DD1 did not have the HPV initially, as there were a couple of highly publicised deaths shortly before she was due to start the course. As I knew she wasn't sexually active, I was happy to wait until she decided what she wanted to do.

She has finally decided to have the vaccination. She has had all her other vacs, but it was nice to be able to let her make the decision. Up until then, it was my decision, and I am a firm believer in vacs.

Pag & Sarah

No offence meant. .

I can see why you would be annoyed at the lack of information
If I were you I'd go discuss it all with your GP

for information- the TB test, Heaf test , was the 7 prong ring thing, this raised up or not you'd be offered a BCG or maybe an X ray to check lungs in case there had been exposure to TB
The BCG is no longer routinely given at school

With vaccinations I can imagine that those choosing not to vaccinate have put a lot more thought and research into that decision than I did into choosing to vaccinate. It's not something I agree with but I can see where they're coming from.

The HPV one is different IMO in that it's not something that can be given later and have the same effect (if they have started to have sex.)

And regardless of pro or anti vaccination leanings, I think everyone agrees that the OP's mother should have made sure that she informed her daughter about what she had done.

YANBU - you should have been told important information about your own health. Though I'm a bit that you never asked & it never came up when the lurgies were going round.

I had rubella when I was 7 and they gave me the jab when I was 11ish.

None taken at all, Pakdooik :)

As someone who has just had a cone biopsy and will probably be under close surveillance for early signs of cervical cancer for some time to come I wish I'd had the opportunity to have a HPV vaccination as a teen.

usingapseudonym, my newborn and I both got whooping cough at the same time (post c-section... that was fun), and I was vaccinated against it as a child. But apparently being pregnant suppresses your immune system. Having had it properly now, though, I supposedly shouldn't get it again.

OP, did you not know you hadn't had the BCG? For various reasons iI had mine a year later than the rest of my school year, and I was certainly (and am still) aware of that.

BCG I knew I missed, was out of school that day, and apparently Dr said it wasn't that important & told her I didn't need it she said. In hindsight yes odd but ffs at 12 we trust our parents

The others, like I said it never came up. I did ask about childhood sickness, thou not specifically vaccines, and she didn't mention it.

Just out of interest, Leonie at what age will you tell your children of their unvaccinated status? As for HPV - if you have a DD, will you be allowing her to 1) have access to multiple sources of information, not just your opinion, and 2) to let her have the vaccine if she then decides she should? Because at the age that HPV is given, issues of informed consent apply and you would be disrespecting your children by not allowing them to be part of the consent/no consent quetion.

And OP, YANBU - I would have been livid if my DM hadn't told me something as important as this. I'm not sure it's worth picking a fight, but you're doing the right thing in protecting yoruself now.

Well up until you are 16/18 I think it's her decision to make.

My ds hasn't had anything other than his Tetanus and booster and that's that. If he doesn't like it he can play catch up when the decision lies with me.

him*

My mum realised when I was about 7 she hadn't had me vaccinated against measles as there was a scare around the time I was due to have it, although she had got my sister done a year or so later. So she rang up the doctor and ordered it, and I had to go have it a week or two later.

Time came and I had a cold. It was the last day of the holiday so they said no worries, it will keep in the fridge, come back when you're better. I went to school the next day with a bit of a cold. The day after, I was covered in spots and had got the measles... And then a lot of my class mates went down with it as well as their parents also hadn't had their kids vaccinated because of the scare previously. So I never did get the measles jab.

Later I was at school in Oxfordshire on the mid 80s and I was in the first of 2(?) years they didn't do the heaf test or bcg vaccination on any of the kids in the county. I've subsequently come across it written up as a long term study! Only time when I've wondered if it might have been an issue was as a teenager helping my aunt on a summer TEFL course - mid 80s, held in a primary school in the depths of soho (quite an eye opener for a naive country teenager in those days). Lots of little kids who'd just got here from from India and Pakistan with high rates of tb. Had a lung xray a few years later for something different and it came back with 'has she had tb? Spots on lungs' on it. I did ask the dr if I needed to follow it up or have a bcg but was told to ignore it. Haven't thought about that for ages, just realised that it was the same doctor who was completely useless and who I'd have reported if I'd not been feeling so ill. Hmm. Maybe this is why I always seem to have a cough! :)

You should have had your rubella immunity checked before you started TTC. You are an adult and responsible for your own health. Even if you'd had the jab you may not have been immune, so YABU for blaming your mum.

My (adult) DD has never asked me what jabs she has and hasn't had, and it isn't something that has ever come up in conversation.

FWIW only my eldest 2 had BCG. They'd discontinued it by the time DC3 (born 1989) got to the right age.

Your Mum should have told you that you have incomplete vaccinations. She probably had good reasons to decide not to vaccinate - it is a contentious issue with advantages and disadvantages. I don't intend to vaccinate my dd either but I will most definitely tell her this and she can make her own decision when she is an adult.

Tallulah someone should tell my GP that. Only reason they are checking immunity now is because I have incomplete vaccinations, apparently they don't do it normally (but that's a different bug bear)