.. to be really hacked off with my Mum over vaccinations

[MrsTwinks]

Me and DH are TTC. A passing comment from a relative about my mum and doctors got me thinking about my jabs so thought I'd better get my rubella checked.

Just back from the doctor and it turns out all vaccinations on me stopped when I was about 2. Everything. Now IIRC 1988 was pre the MMR scare, but even so I could understand that, except its all of them. They have recommended I have a polio and tetanus now, but I'm also missing BCG etc.

AIBU to be really fucked off at my mum for a)kinda for just doing it to start with but honestly really b) never bloody telling me!!

I work with kids, shes been on at me to TTC for literally years, and not once has she mentioned me not having had my jabs. The tetanus one really fucks me off too because as a teen I cut my leg open really badly on rusty metal, it got infected so bad even the holes from the stitches got all infected and she didn't let/make sure I had a tetanus booster. I suspect also she never told my Dad because he went ape when I nearly didn't have my meningitis c when I was 17. He was a SAHP with me at first as he was a student so I wonder if maybe it was only him who took me in the first place.

I'm still really mad 'cos I ust discovered it ontop of alot of other stuff she did but now its like she coulda been playing russian roulette with not only my health as a child but my kid's if I hadnt thought to check it iykwim.

and breathe

Leonie I know that, but I would have liked to have made the decision to go through life/pregnancy with or without immunity fully informed as to my risk of contracting an illness. Instead, when I asked about immunity to childhood illnesses, she didn't mention me not having had jabs. She made a different choice to the one I would, and that's fine by me. but she knows my stance on vaccination after a conversation when I lamented never being able to have the hpv one. she should have told me!

That's my thought, they're quite a big deal at school. I'd have known, and asked my parents about it had I been excluded.

Anyway, I was immunity checked in blood tests as routine at the beginning of pregnancy, is that not the norm?

Bloody hell, zipzap! Please follow it up with your current GP.

Especially if you're serious about the persistent cough.

If you're all clear, well and good. But TB's a notifiable disease ? it's not just that you may need treatment, you may be risking others.

Immunity to rubella is checked as part of the booking bloods. Not cost effective to check prior to pregnancy.

She should have told you.

Ds2 (9) knows he is unvaccinated and (hopefully) knows he is able to discuss it with me if he would like to be in the future.

DS3 (6) doesn't know he is unvaccinated yet but will do when it comes up in conversation.

Do tend to agree it seems strange that you didn't think about things like tetanus as it has to be updated every 10 years anyway. I organised a tetanus booster when I was in my 20's as I was working in a high risk activity for tetanus. Haven't bothered to do it again. I also had a rubella immunity check - even though I was fairly certain I'd had it as a child. I knew I'd had a major exposure to whooping cough as a child and not developed it, so figured I must be immune to that. And I knew I'd had measles as a child so figured I was immune to that as well.

What about BCG etc- you must remember whether you had that or not.

Ninky but if your mum took you out that day (she did stuff like that-I was kept out to watch Mandela release for example) or lied and said you didn't need it. I don't remember vaccine days at school at all

Never knew tetanus was every ten years. Yes I'm ill-informed. Wrongly assumed the doctor would tell me when I needed a booster. Would seem I just need it

The timing of vaccinations changed for those born in the 80s
My Ds1 had all the immunisations as recommended at the time but was later viewed not to be completly vaccinated later on , they had a measles outbreak at his school when he was 16/17 so they were all advised to get a booster

The immunisation schedule has changed hugely in the last 12 years, let alone the last 25. For example the pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine is very very different now to the one given in the 1970s and 80s. We can now immunise against Hib meningitis and Meningitis C, which we couldn't when we were children.

People are no longer given 10 yearly tetanus boosters routinely, and BCG vaccine is given to those considered at risk of TB and not as part of a routine childhood imms schedule. MMR vaccine was introduced in the UK in 1988 and before this children may or may not have had single measles vaccine (not hugely effective) and girls got single rubella vaccine at the age of 12-13. So for many women their immunity may be lacking due to inferior vaccines or not receiving a vaccine. Some may have natural immunity but without testing you wouldn't know, and women aren't routinely tested until they are actually pregnant.

If anyone has any doubt as to their vaccination status and is keen to be vaccinated you can always see your practice nurse at your GP surgery who can assess what, if anything, may be recommended.

I agree that it's not on to not tell your DCs if you haven't vaccianted them, herd immunisation is very low in many European cities etc and as an adult you should have the information to manage the risks.

I'd get back to your doctor, get a schedule of jabs lined up. You're still able to have time, you can start TTC in a couple of months.

They don't give tetanus routinely every ten years now because every jab increases the risk of reactions (iirc) and supposedly immunity builds up (although off the top of my head I think the group that has the highest incidence of tetanus is the elderly)

You need a tetanus jab every 10 years anyway...as for the BCG - that's not even given to babies anymore, unless their parent is from a country where there is high prevalence of TB, and the child will be travelling there in the first year of life.

I'd be pretty peeved aswell, but hey ho. You can go and get them all done now.

I am not immune to Rubella, because when they were giving free booster jabs to young adults my age at uni, I chickened out and never got it done. I only seem to remember I need the shot everytime I get pregnant and they check my antibodies...

YANBU. She should have been honest with you.

YANBU OP, she should have told you. It is the medical 'norm' in this country to be vaccinated, what with the uptake rates being in the around 90% for most childhood jabs. Even the MMr is about 90% now I think. If you make the decision not to vaccinate your children I do think you have a duty of care to discuss it with them.

Tallulah - When I (pretty naively) went to my GP in 2001 saying I wanted to TTC my first child, and was there anything I needed to do, immunisation wasn't even mentioned. She talked about folic acid, pregnacare vitamins and alcohol. When I was pregnant, my first blood test confirmed I was immune to rubella ( I had all the normal jabs) - but I think it's a bit mean to put the onus on the OP to check her own immunity, when my GP didn't even mention it - ( "you should have had your immunity checked before TTC" ).

I have actually got pretty up to date immunisations - I seem to have a tetanus approx every 10 years or so - for holidays or whatever. I had Hep A this year, along with Tetanus, because we were going to Turkey on hols. It's not hard to jeep them up to date.

MrBloomsNursery "You need a tetanus jab every 10 years anyway."

No you don't. If you've had 5 in your life (3 as a baby, 1 pre-school and 1 around aged 14) you are protected for life, foreign travel and tetanus-prone wounds excepted.

"If science, or whatever proves me wrong down the line, so be it."

Science, or whatever?!

I am thoroughly gobsmacked that someone in 2011 would dismiss literally hundreds of years of medical development as 'science, or whatever'. By all means, have your own opinion but for the love of fuck, do you actually know how 'science or whatever' works?! It's not fucking witchcraft, you know.

I would be bonkers angry if it turned out I'd not been given the polio vaccine. What if you'd travelled to a country where polio is still around? Bloody hell.

I've always wondered if adults my age should have MMR since we didn't as children and I've never had any of those diseases.

There is very little point trying to engage with Leonie on this issue. She has her view and she is not going to change it because of a thread on mumsnet.

Northern I don't expect to change anyone's opinion, especially not on AIBU on mumsnet, I'm not that naive . I'm just literally gobsmacked that anyone in the western world would express that opinion.

On the subject of the HPV vaccine, does anyone know if it's possible for a girl at 14 to override her parents wishes and say that she wants it, regardless of what they say?

Oh I agree with you! Just don't expend too much energy on it

I don't know about the 14 yr old issue - I suspect parental issues could be over-ridden though if the thing wanted is deemed to be objectively in the child's best interests. The HPV vaccine undoubtedly is.

My DH was the same. He found out last year when his mam mentioned to me.

YANBU to be annoyed at not being told once you were an adult. You could need to know for many reasons.

I don't know much about the vaccine debate yet (No kids, will research when the time comes) but we found out DH had not had them when MIL informed me "No Grandchild of mine will have needles stuck in them" Which I questioned and she said she did not believe in vaccinations at all. Her children did not have them and her Grandchildren certainly will not. Well, I'm fairly sure that's up to me and DH, so we shall see