to ask if you have friends in a very different income bracket?

[Hullygully]

And more importantly, does it create problems?

Yes...and no...

Yes I have. No it doesn't. But only because we are all reasonable people. So some friends who are very skint always buy their own drinks and never rounds - fine. If we go out for a meal go somewhere with very cheap options as well as more expensive. And with skint friends do more round each others houses e.g. share bottle of wine, play a game, watch a DVD.

In the group of friends I have some people have very little money - been unemployed or on NMW. Others are middling and others are pretty well off. As long as you are sensitive I don't think it needs to be an issue.

yes.
no.

Also for xmas do a secret santa of 1 present for £3 after 1 friend started buying xmas presents that others would struggle to reciprocate. The idea was just introduced as a fun idea. And if skint people recycle presents or spend less than £3 nobody is bothered.

What about if you have dc?

So the dc are at different schools/get different opportunities etc?

Yes
No

We have friends with completely different attitudes to money etc which makes for interesting drunken discussions but that's it!

How would you know what income bracket people were in? I have no idea about my friends - large house and flash car can mean negative equity, unable to move and in debt. Small semi, not outwardly flash could mean they are squirrelling away for school fees or a rainy day.

Ye they are, and no it doesn't. Dc's are at different schools, do get different opportunities. But so what? That's just life...

How big a difference are you talking? I am on just under national average and have friends that are surgeons. Makes no difference. I think if you're talking about millionaires, then no, I don't have any friends with that sort of money.

It costs nowt to have friends kids round for a play date and a picnic lunch in the dining room ...butties n crisps.
It makes no difference to any of us.

Im the poor friend btw

Yes, in both directions. No problems though as in general I've have common interests with mates for which wealth doesn't matter. I've more than one set of friends who I'd do different things with anyway.

Education may be different. We have one set of friends who will definitely go private, despite the fact they really can't afford it. The DH is old school private school like me, but it is all about status for them. If we could afford it and it was the best for our dc we'd do it. I wouldn't resent them if they did and we didn't, but likewise they are the type to try to brag about it.

See, I owuld always have said yes and no.

But I have discovered I am quite quite wrong and am all hurt and upset.

We are on less than 19k a year dh's best friend earned just under 300k last year.

Our kids get on fine. they are lovely kind people who we love. Money never comes into it

Yes I do and no it doesn't.

Depends on the people really. We have friends in very different income brackets both ways. With some it's not an issue, others it's a deal breaker. Can't explain it-grates with some and not others. In a way it comes down to whether my skills, talents and views are respected and cherished, and vice versa and whether or not we have fundamental values in common. I guess with some people you're socialising acquaintances and others true friends. Also, we aren't in a position to do expensive socialising very much so with one couple, we occasionally stretch ourselves and they slum it sometimes. Not a spoken thing. I can't be friends with people who feel somehow superior because of their income, especially if they fail to acknowledge good fortune as such. Nor do I find it easy to be with people constantly bemoaning their financial status. That might be a bit too honest, but if conversation constantly keeps coming back to money in one way or another then it's a bit depressing. Particularly if they haven't sussed that our situation is actually worse than theirs, just with different choices made. I guess it's one way of working out which friendships are keepers.

Oh Hully, I'd guess your friends were not quite as good a friends as you thought?

God yes, both ends of the scale.

No problems at all as uber rich friend is lovely and un-pretentious. She never brags or mentions her live in cleaner and christian dior snow gear. Our children do some activities together, but not alot.

Mate who has a pretty small income can't do lots of nights out etc, but she always has you round for tea and park etc etc.

Yes I have and yes it does.

Yes.

Yes. It is really hard sometimes to be in a lower income bracket than your closest friends. I never let it show or get in the way as I love my closest friends dearly but both of them have come by money very easily and it is still sad for me to know that I will never have even one tenth of what they have.

In short, I feel envy in my heart (and it stops there) but it does not stop me from relating to them and loving them.

Sadly not, Ninky.

How so, span?

I am mulling this over and the people I get on with best are generous people. But that generosity is shown in different ways, mostly non financial. So with them money is irrelevant.

spot on FamilyDilemma.

My dear friends are in a lower income bracket, and I think it sometimes causes problems in that they feel awkward about it. We never try to go anywhere they can't afford, but we simply don't face the problems they face financially so there is a whole bit of their life we can't really understand (as they see it). We're not mega rich either, but we are in a higher bracket than they are.