to ask if you have friends in a very different income bracket?

[Hullygully]

And more importantly, does it create problems?

Yes - and family, too.
No.

Blimey Dozer.

I remember having a friend like that when ds1 was born; both new mums, on same 2 bed maternity wing...

She'd come over with the same comments too, deliberately bought house in same village but bigger (fair enough, more money than us) but critically the more you knew, the more sad their back story: wife had been abused in a previous marriage and her childhood, the husband was very controlling and came from a horribly broken marriage with a mother with MH difficulties: he was incredibly over protective, even calling us to ask where she was when she was nowhere about, had just popped to shops.

In the end we realised their self defence mechanism was to criticise anything not 'them' (including sadly their second son who was born with mild and treatable physical Sn and whom Mum was open about emotionally rejecting). They were just too scared to venture outside their narrow safety zone and consider anything not immediately obvious to them as the right choice.

They emigrated so don't know what happened to them.

Very sad, and all spiralling from long-past pain.

hully yes have friends of very wide income span. The only time it'd an ishoo is when I have a gathering and the poorer ones dont like mixing with the richer ones. It's more education and lifestyle differences than the money.

Yes people are wierd and I think they stranger as they get older too.

B iPhone typos, apologies

That's sad peachy. And OP, the one who's been awful to you sounds similarly insecure and odd. These things just make it awkward.

We have friends who earn a lot more money than us and they live abroad. They think that we should spend more time visiting them abroad throughout the year and don't understand why we don't, even though dh explains that his hours include weekends which he can't always get off, we have two children to feed and clothe and a mortgage and bills to pay. The husband also likes to tell my dh that his job has no prospects and he should find something else, but dh could go for a management position so there are prospects, I always find that conversation a bit odd.

They are nice people but it does get a bit wearing when they are telling us about the latest gadget or posh car they have bought and how we should just come visit anytime.

Yes we have friends in different income bracket and yes it does cause problems! Lots of snide comments, sneering at our choices/possessions, etc. And that's from our families!

no, my best friend is royal and a billionaire. i get all her children's clothes and get invites to stay with her (our honeymoon was a present) and we are generous in our own way (dinners, arranging stuff, support)

i must say though that the gulf in our situation is so vast and our friendship so old (university) that it doesn't matter and is totally accepted.

her kids eton and benenden, mine state until older and even then a struggle.

sorry it's caused ructions. it shouldn't. she's just envious

I think small gulfs are the most dangerous-people are most envious of things a seemingly reachable distance away.

we should all remember time is the most valuable depreciating asset and knowing the life of my friend and our other millionaire/rich friends we all struggle to keep a grasp of that. it's a great leveller.

also, we are both part timers. but we spend time with our children that our busier rich friends have said they are envious of. six of one, etc

If I ever have a green eyed moment I play trade in-would I trade my whole lot for theirs. Rarely.

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I find, however, it does bother those who are used to less but only if they are acquaintances rather than true friends. MIL has the odd problem . I think only those who know the green eyed monster have problems with richer friends.

Hully you have my sympathy.
Personally I have come to the conclusion that maybe I am a bit of a cock when talking about money.
(DH has had an unusually bumper year and we are very very jolly about it because it's mainly been luck and circumstance. I have put my foot in it a couple of times, totally out of exuberance.)
I think the general rule is never to talk about money because you can't control what other people think of you doing so.

In our social circle we are all different so we adapt activities accordingly.

If we go out with our well off chums we go somewhere pricey. For a girls night out the priority is that absolutely everyone who wants to come can so it's Frankie and Benny's and the local!

Never been an issue, I don;t judge folk on what they earn!

I agree LaPrune and never talk about money but am cautious about who I invite to our home.

What are friends? ha. My son earns four times as much as me and I work full time, he is only in his first six months of starting a job after Uni.

Yes and no.

Our best friends earn roughly double us. We're feeling the pinch at the moment - so are they !!!

We live in the same area of town with their house a little bigger but not a huge difference. They have outgoings such as 2 horses, a big new-ish car (we've got two cats and two bangers, bought and paid for !!).

We only know the income details because we're best friends and we've talked about stuff like that occasionally. Don't know what our other friends earn but as someone else mentioned it'd be hard to tell. People who come across as affluent could be up to their eyeballs in debt whereas those who appear to be worse off could have a healthy nest egg.

There is just a subtle but pervasive patronisation I get from one 'friend' who so studiously avoids talking about her lifestyle with us that it has become an issue. But there are a number of friends who have glamorous cars, hols etc and talk about them in moderation. My dsis is single. I don't not talk about dh and dc-they are part of my life and she wants to hear about them. When we were having fertility treatment, I hated it when some friends wouldn't talk about their children to us. I didnt want them to talk nose rubbingly, but enough that I was included in their lives. So not talking about stuff can backfire too. I guess with the best kind of friends it just isn't relevant.

Yes I have friends in different income brackets than me and DH. It doesn't make a difference - they're my friends.
However, I got back in contact with an old school friend a couple of years ago who is in the low income bracket. It didn't matter to me what she and her DH earnt but I the fact that she wanted me to drive her on a 200 mile round trip when 39 weeks preggers and buy her lunch (WTF??) took the micky. ALthough I would say it was down to her personality not her monthly income!

My boyfriend has been constantly asking me if he should buy the cheaper motorbike or the one for £1500 more, asking me how he can justify the difference in price if he got the more expensive one.

I take home about £7kpa while he takes £60ish. I am currently in the process of being taken to court for £600.

I snapped and finally asked him to stop being so fucking insensitive. Yes, it causes problems.

We have friends of all differnt income levels and TBH I don't know the ins and outs of their finances or them mine. Most of us have "nice" houses and cars and can afford "nice" things. But how that is financed I have no idea and don't ask. I know that whatever you earn your outgoings will go up proportionally and we were much better off living in a 3 bed semi with a generous income and a load of savings than living in a 5 bed detatched that eats money for brekfast.