To be upset when parents dont read with their children.

[AVoidkaTheKillerZombies]

I volunteer at DC's school doing an intensive reading programme for children who are not reading confidently or are having problems reading.

So many of the children have no one to read to at home, in fact the programme asks for the parents to read with the child at home. One parent actually refused the programme because she didnt want to commit to the input (5 minutes a night).

Some of the children have nothing written in the reading diaries and its so sad.

yes it is sad, but I'm afraid it's surprisingly common - someone even said to me once "I don't do any homework with her, that's the school's job" - she was sending her child to a private school - my point being, I think you'll find the same attitude among all socio-economic groups

YANBU. Some parents don't understand the important role they play in children's reading or that there is a difference in being able to read and being a reader. It's a shame.

It's sad, but if the parents have not grown up surrounded by books then it is unlikely that they will see the value in reading to their dc's.

Altinkum, I am similar to you in that I love to read but dh doesn't. Our ds is only 9 mo, but I have read many times that the biggest factor in getting boys to read is having a male role model who likes reading. If their mum reads but not their dad, they will just see it as a female pursuit. So I am forever nagging my dh to read!

YANBU

You can hear a child read even if you're cooking tea or feeding a baby

As you say, it only takes 5 minutes a day.

Just because the parent don't write in the reading diaries doesn't mean they are not reading with their children.

And it's not about the parent and whether they 'like to read' or not.

At least they've been taught how to do it

peanut I do understand that.

But the children I work with its obvious if they have had someone read the text with them, and in most cases they havent.

Not being unreasonable, maybe unrealistic though. I love reading and am so happy my girls do too, but all families are different, there will always be those who do not think reading is important.

A friend actually asked me the other day.. 'how are we supposed to help my DD with homework/ reading if dp and I both work?' I was flaberghasted and ranted explained about the importance of reading etc etc, she just said hhmm and I know she wont help her little girl who is actually very bright. Sad but a fact of life.

At times, when I've been stretched, my older ones listen to the younger ones read or they do it in the car on the way to somewhere

I am the book lover, I think in 20 years I have only seen dp pick up and read 1 book. Yet, for the past 3 1/2 years he has read the bedtime stories for dd1 pretty much every night. So not being a reader is no excuse, really.

Ahh i don't write in the diary because ds has 2 teachers this year and both have different criteria.
one wants the pages she sets to be read and a brief comment, the other wants us to pick a chapter of any book ds injoys and read it. But we don't know when each teacher is working so it doesn't work.

They tried to set 2 lots of homework with different dates for it to be in but again they didn't organise it well and the children were to confused.

DS (9) reads to us for 10 mins while im preparing tea at 5.

I think it is sad. There are so many wonderful books with interesting rhythms or intricate pictures. I don't understand how anyone can say reading is "boring" - there's a book for everyone. (Reading difficulties are of course different, that is sad as well though.)

That should be, he's read one book for himself ( I am spock, IIRC!)

I agree OP, parents should be reading with their kids, but that should take the form they choose. For example the diaries thing is stupid. My DDs teacher looked at me all sad at parent's evening asking if I realised how important it was to read with DD even though I'm "always at work"

Bloody rude. I read with her at every available opportunity and even if it's not books its road signs, recipes, shopping lists, brand names... Some kids don't enjoy sitting down with a book and to make them do so would put them off - particularly when they are very small and some parents (myself included) can never find a bloody pen in order to write in the diary which is crumpled and covered in banana and pencil shavings at the bottom of the bag. Also, the books are often utter shite writen in in the 1970s with some obscure theme. My DD (5) finds them completley boring.

I don't tell teachers how to teach so I don't really expect them to tell me how to parent.

That's very sad. Good job they have people like you to help them, though. I'm sure they'll appreciate it when they're older.

AVoidka we have the opposite problem, no one from school seems to write in DS book

He is 6 and reading is not going well, writing & spelling coming on & I think he's going to learn to read through writing

Will be talking to his teacher at next parents evening.

It takes about us 20-30mins to do reading, those who take 5mins must have DD's

May I give you a slightly different perspective on this?

My son (8) hates reading. Hates it. He is severely dyslexic but was only dx last month.

I am sure school "helpers" would have possibly thought the same about me and my dh as my son has always struggled with reading and therefore for a long time I did not insist he read at home every night as it was really damaging his already fragile self esteem.

"I volunteer at DC's school doing an intensive reading programme for children who are not reading confidently or are having problems reading." Well done, you. Yes, some parents dont care, but please dont tar us all with the same brush.

Thanks.

You know some adults can't read, right?

Some parents can't read

Some parents can't read in English

Some parents have very bad dyslexia

Some children hate reading so much parents can't get them to read.

And of course if the parent has any of those problems it's even more likely the child will also have problems learning to read.

I think you should reframe your thinking as to what is stopping the parent from reading, rather than thinking how sad it is.

Pootles2010 - Yes, My own dad cannot read actually (or write). It was one of the reasons I volunteered for this programme.

The thing I find completely mind blowing is that 3 out of 10 children do not have any books at home.

I struggle to imagine a family where nobody in the immediate or extended family thinks to buy a child a book, any book (even a 99p discount shop book) as a gift for a birthday or Christmas.

Here.
Full report here.

That is really sad pip. I remember feeling really sad for (Roald Dahl's) Matilda as a child because there were no books in her house!

I don't think it makes it any less sad when the parent's don't read with their kids because they can't read.

But yes, it does mean it's not their fault.