To be upset when parents dont read with their children.

[AVoidkaTheKillerZombies]

I volunteer at DC's school doing an intensive reading programme for children who are not reading confidently or are having problems reading.

So many of the children have no one to read to at home, in fact the programme asks for the parents to read with the child at home. One parent actually refused the programme because she didnt want to commit to the input (5 minutes a night).

Some of the children have nothing written in the reading diaries and its so sad.

I am one of the ones that has ALWAYS read to my chhildren. I read to ds when he was a year old and read every night a story until he was about 8.

I also helped him with homeswork.

Fast forward now and he's 12.

He DETESTS reading in any shape or form. No interest watsover and he struggles at school.

Sometimes being read to as a small child has no impact on thier reading ability and interest when they are older.

dd 1 and 2 love thier books. (shrugs) out of the elder 3 I'd say ds was read to the most. He is the worst reader by far now.

oh and I dont write in reading diaries either. Can't see the point. I know my childrens reading abilities as do the school. dd1 has a reading age beyond her years and she is 9

Biff and bloody chip. Have said on here before they put ds off reading for life.

I think you are being too judgemental.

I don't write in the kids reading diaries very often at all any more. I rarely do homework with them neither. It doesn't mean they don't read. They read for at least half an hour every day, newspapers, comics, novels, ort, reference books. Luckily our school doesn't judge on the basis of what is written in the reading diary.

I don't always get the time to do homework with them because I want to use the time while they are off school to teach the the things I want to teach them, and it is hard to fit it all in.

zukie the sad facvt is that some parents simply do not prioritise their DC's literacy.

You can make a million and one excuses for them, but for some, it's just simply not important.

camel - if i were you, i'd have a word with the teacher. it's a very odd way of teaching a child to read and love books, forcing them to go through the entire scheme without deviation.
Even my oxford rep says that unless a child is struggling, once they have the hang of reading, there's no point in them continuing with the scheme.
Such a strict regime could have the potential of putting your DS reading for life - it's like it's a punishment for him "you can't read the cool books until you've read the horrid boring ones" :(

Nickel I've spoken to the teacher, its the way its done and they won't change. DS1 was always given books below his reading age and it was a battle to get them to place him at a higher level, taking weeks to listen to him and move him up.

when DS2 was reading the books and they weren't being changed regular enough (only changed 2 days a week) I asked if he could be given 2 books at a time, they agreed reluctantly. The next teacher refused to do it and said he must read according to their rules. So it was back down to only one book. when he got past the 'Golden Key' Series, all hope was lost and he refused to read them, the knock on effect was he decided all books where boring.

ATM he is reading Warhorse at home and enjoying it but he can't take it into school and read it, he must stick to the scheme until finished.

YANBU

I too feel really, really strongly about this.

But I'm also another shite mum who always forgets to write in the reading diary so it looks like they've not read anything but they read all the time (honest, guv).

DH and I are obsessive readers.

Did all the reading homework, have several houseworths of books both audio and actual.

DD and DS will not read a book for pleasure. At all.

Go figure.

That sounds like when I was at school (a long long time ago). You had to read the school book, and then answer the comprehension questions from a companion book (in full sentences) before you moved on. I only moved on at the beginning of the year, and sometimes at the beginning of term, if a teacher asked "What book are you on?". This continued until the equivalent of year 6 when the teacher let us just answer a few verbal questions, I was then prouly the second person in the class to get to free reading.
I read lots and lots outside of school, and under the desk, and at breaktimes etc.

School and home are so different. I'm not fussed what ds reads at school - I assume they know what they're doing 0 but I care a lot about home.

All the people who read to their children and they don't read now - the point is they might not like it as a leisure activity and that's fine. If nobody had read with them they might not even have had that choice.

camel - that's horrible. :(
no wonder it took so long for your older child to love reading.

although, quite frankly, if they did that to me, I would write in his reading book every night that it was complete. (yes, even if he hasn't read it - if he's a good reader, he should be able to fake it to his teacher)
almost like swallowing medicine. :(

I agree laprune.

Reading to and with your DC can never be something detrimental can it? Sure, it might not pay off in quite the way one hopes, but that's life. Like feeding them healthy food, or teaching them to swim...we do it to give them options.

the school my kids attend has predominanly single parents[which i am] but unfortunately many of them feel that it is schools job to teach.it despairs me whenever school try to organise evenings to help us with phonics and tips or games to encourage reading skills the amount of parents that attend can be counted on one hand.the teachers accept it as a sad fact but keep doing them for the few that do bother.i have helpd out in ds class and it never ceases to amaze me how many of the class are unable to sit still and even listen when a story is being read[ds is in yr1].as someone pointed ont to me kids spend just 30hrs a week at school.assuming they sleep 10hrs a night that still leaves 48hrs+weekend.surely even the most hard pressed parent can fit in a story.

the diary doesn't come home anymore and neither do the school books, so I can't even fake it. The teacher is in full control.

I will just carry on encouraging him to read at home and offer him a wide variety of genres and hope I can find something that grabs his attention.

It is really sad, and I think it's great you are volunteering to help.

I heard about a programme that was tested a few years ago (can't remember where) that wanted to get children reading. They gave all children a new book every month, or something like that, until they were five (like bookstart I guess but much more generous!). They gave it up because it was making no difference, IIRC.

It's just one of those things where there are so many factors it's virtually impossible to change without massive intervention.

i rarely write in dc's reading records, although have spoken to teachers and they know dc's will be reading with somebody once a day, some days i have time to sit with dd while she reads her whole book, other days we only have time for a few pages (yr2, not the most fluent reader in the world)

ds is still on quite easy books as he's only in recpetion but it takes about 20 minutes with all the sounding out and blending sounds.

It's hard to find time especially with multiple children. I do think it's important however and my dc's are always read to at bedtime, mainly because I love the cuddles

I feel sorry for children without books but I don't think the parents should be judged!

More than half of teachers have seen at least one child starting school having never been read a story at home

www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/apr/30/children-parents-reading-stories

I find that sad.

I have recently started going into help with the reading and concur with the OP. I am having one of the weaker reading groups read to me, and the reading record books so often tell the story, that there are no notes from parents saying Read 2 pages and a date, the kids clearly are not reading. It breaks my heart.

I'm lucky I suppose, DS doesn't like reading, but he is good at it. I do get him to read to me every day, that said, I don't have other kids, I am lucky enough to be able to work around his school hours and I know it would be a different story if I was working 9-5.

For this reason I think it's really important for us as parents that DO have time to spend 45 minutes if you are able, to go to the school and help those kids who are struggling. It's a privilege to be able to see them at school, and when you see how some of the children are finding things so hard, it really is a wonderful feeling to know that in some tiny way, perhaps you are helping them struggle just that little bit less.

I read to DD every night, it's part of our bedtime routine. She gets a chapter of a Fricking rainbow faries book every night or a whole smaller book like Cat in the Hat. She is very much a free reader, and quite often curls up on the sofa book in hand. When we read chapter books at bedtime she will do a page when I ask her to when I am bored stupid

I hardly ever write in her diary. I used to, and used to add the titles of 'home' books she had read. Her teacher didn't like this and told me her diary was to be used for 'school books only'. So, seeing as we hardly ever read them (too easy, too boring, too many bastard Biff and Kipper) I hardly ever write in the diary.

I helped like this at dd's school.

There was the little girl who was almost certainly dyslexic - all her family were, profoundly so.

The boy who was one of 9 children, all under 10. Mother rushed off her feet with baby twins and toddler twins, dad at work all hours. Older children - including this boy - trying to do homework, help with food preparation and cooking, instrument practise etc etc etc. None of them v interested in reading ( all stunning musicians though).

The boy whose parents were tenant farmers working all hours, his chores were involved with cows, geese and sheep. By the time it was dark they were all too knackered to do anything much. None of them great readers either.

I could go on.

Be thankful you have the privilege of doing something really helpful, with the potential to be inspirational and to effect a change in someone's life. If you waste your time judging then you'll inadvertently turn it into even more of a chore for them, and will only be ticking boxes anyway. They'll remember you for all the wrong reasons.

I read once a week with a y6 girl who can't read.

I don't judge her parents (who I don't know!). But I do think she has been badly failed by her school.

I don't even know how long she's been at that school.
I don't know if that school has failed her or not. But that's my first thought.

YABU. It doesn't have to be every night. DS will read to me 3/4 nights a week for between 5 minutes and 45 minutes. He also is reading all the time - computer/TV/ signs. It's the overall input.

And not all parents write in the diary. My friend (who is a teacher) has a DD in year 3 (same as my DS) who can read fluently and reads to herself. She fills in her picture and write a sentence part in the reading record but the girls teacher is always harping on at my friend about why she doesn't listen to her read. As my friend says she asks her questions and she can answer them so it's obvious she has read it. The teacher doesn't want to her to fill it in unless she actually listens to her DD. She can't win.

Reading is so much more than 5/10 minutes of Biff Chip and freaking Kipper every day.

I think it's important to separate those parents who are unsupportive of their children's learning overall from households who don't have books. They are not the same thing at all. Some people come from families who don't really read books, but they will read the things they wish to e.g. magazines. That is not the same thing at all as refusing to support any homework. Also second point made above that if parents themselves can not read it would be very intimidating to be asked to read for 5 mins a night and then presumably write about it.