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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed that some mumsnetters think dogs should be perfect all the time

331 replies

lesley33 · 01/11/2011 21:50

I try and be a responsible dog owner. I call my dog back if he is near anyone who looks uncomfortable with him, I move him over to the side of the path to let joggers by and clear up dog mess.

But some posters on here seem to think that dogs should alwa\ys be perfectly behaved, never run up to strangers and never bark at people.

Dogs are not robots. However much you train them no dog will always behave 100% perfectly all the time. Some dogs are harder to train. For example, dogs that are really really dim or dogs that have a very nervy and neurotic personality.

We all accept that DCs will not always behave in public. I think most dogs generally behave well most of the time - but it is unrealistic to expect them never to misbehave. So AIBU?

OP posts:
nancy75 · 01/11/2011 21:55

if you don't think your dog can behave well in public keep it on a leed. You can't compare a dog with a child - if my dd is naughty she is unlikely to bite somebody or knock them over, unlike a dog.

afishcalledmummy · 01/11/2011 21:56

YABU. If your dog can't be relied upon to behave at all times it should be kept on a lead. I've lost count of the number of times I've been jumped up at by dogs "only wanting to say hello" when I'm out for a run. I don't want to say hello to anyone whilst out running, let alone be touched/slobbered on by anything!

SixStringWidow · 01/11/2011 21:59

wow, it's all about dogs on here tonight!

I don't think dogs should be compared to children.

An owner should be able to control the dog at all times (imho)

If a dog cannot understand commands then it needs to be kept on a lead unfortunately.

CocktailQueen · 01/11/2011 21:59

Well, you might not be BU with YOUR dog but the VAST MAJORITY of dog owners are completely unreasonable with their dogs so: eg, letting them run towards and jump on small children with a merry cry of 'oh he's just playing/he won't hurt you' (He's a big as they are! Get him the fuck down!), weeing on things (one dog weed on my sister's baby change bag, sitting by a picnic table we were all at). The owner IGNORED THIS and walked on by!!!!!

But I think people do expect dog owners to behave a hell of a lot better than they do. Most are irresponsible and crap.

Original poster
lesley33 · 01/11/2011 22:00

My point is that I don't think any dog will never ever misbehave. It may only happen once every 5 years though. My lab will come back to me,except one time when he spotted a half eaten sausage on the floor (presumably from nearby fish and chip shop). Like all labs he loves food, so her ignore me, got the sausage then came to me.

OP posts:
EverybodysScaryEyed · 01/11/2011 22:01

YABU - as others have said the dog should be kept on a lead

DS is terrified of dogs after a big soppy lab came up to say hello. He was the same size as DS and knocked him over. I didn't have enough time to get between them. Sure he had good intentions but how was DS to know that - all he saw was a giant beast coming towards him! And this was in a park that has 2 huge dog exercising areas fenced off and you are supposed to keep the dog on the lead in other parts

Also, my mum was attacked by a dog as a child so has a genuine phobia. If a dog came up to her she would be in a terrible state.

I'm just not sure that a child can have the same sort of impact

tobyrat · 01/11/2011 22:03

You might pick up your dog's shit, but so many dog owners don't. It's on my street and the street my DC's school is in. I can't get past this issue, it really bothers me.

Housewifefromheaven · 01/11/2011 22:03

Yabu to let your dog run up to people who it does not know. I don't like it, it makes me uncomfortable. It makes my kids uncomfortable. It makes my dog uncomfortable. How on earth anyone thinks it is ok is beyond me.

The other stuff yanbu :)

SixStringWidow · 01/11/2011 22:03

you keep your dog on a lead and I'll keep my dd on a lead Grin

problem solved.

josephinebonaparte · 01/11/2011 22:05

My toddler doesn't run up and shout in peoples faces, jump up, shit on the path or bite small children.

ElaineReese · 01/11/2011 22:06

Keep it on a lead then. Pipsqueak.

KittyFane · 01/11/2011 22:07

A badly behaved dog cannot be compared to a badly behaved child.
As others have said, a child is very unlikely to bite, jump up on someone, scare the living daylights out of another person or wee/ poo everywhere.
FWIWI really don't like dogs but I have no problem with others keeping them, just don't expect me to love your dog the way you do.

LadyBeagleEyes · 01/11/2011 22:07

There are dogs out there that misbehave, but that is down to bad owners. The majority are loving companions that wouldn't hurt a fly.
Lots of dog haters on this thread so far.
I'm sure the dog supporters will be on soon Grin.

GreenEyesandNiceHam · 01/11/2011 22:08

My toddler doesn't run up and shout in peoples faces, jump up, shit on the path or bite small children.

Mine did Sad

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 01/11/2011 22:08

I think you inadvertently hit the nail on the head lesley.

You are obviously a sensible responsible dog owner yet admit yourself that no dog can be well-behaved 100% of the time. That is exactly the reason that people get a bit stroppy about dogs running up to them/their children. The owners are shouting 'he's fine. he won't hurt you' when actually they can't know that for sure.

Personally I don't expect dogs to be 100% well behaved; the owners should have a good go at it though Grin

topknob · 01/11/2011 22:09

My dog is on the lead at all times around kids and other dogs...I don't want to be reponsible for my dog being hurt by a child for example and then my dog retaliates...If we go to a kids park she is muzzled. It is how it has always been for her. Keep your dog under control ! Oh and dog owners piss me off when they allow their dogs to approach my kids. We don't know your dog is friendly !

KittyFane · 01/11/2011 22:09

Oh and keep him away from me :(

topknob · 01/11/2011 22:10

Oh just notice you compared a dog to a child..I am lol at that !

EverybodysScaryEyed · 01/11/2011 22:11

I love dogs! But I don't love dog owners!

I don't believe the dog says to its owner 'don't bother, just leave the shit on their doorstep'

nor do i believe the dog maliciously knocked DS over.

It is down to the owner. The dog in that instant should have been on a lead - the park is not one where they are allowed to be off it. That's not the dogs fault.

KittyFane · 01/11/2011 22:12

ladybeagle no, I for one am not a dog hater. I don't like them or want them anywhere near me but I don't hate them. Thankfully I have no reason to. Others have.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 01/11/2011 22:13

I love dogs. And cats. And most animals.

But they can be unpredictable. Like all animals.

Keep dogs on a lead. That's all. And muzzle if necessary. And clean up their poop.

I don't think anyone asks for more than that.

Original poster
lesley33 · 01/11/2011 22:13

So if a dog has SN and is really really dim, they should never be allowed off the lead? I think that is really harsh. My in laws had a dog like this - small terrier, lovely character. She would come when called, but never seemed to understand any training to try and stop her barking at people.

Another friend who had a deaf mongrel, barked when excited. Even with help of dog trainer they could never teach her that it was the barking they wanted to stop. When told off she woulod stop the other thing she was doing e.g. playing or running around, but would carry om barking.

Lots of friendly dogs approach people because they are used to getting attention from strangers. My lab is a very pretty old dog with arthritis. If I leave him tied up outside a shop I always come back to somebody making a fuss of him. In the park others will very frequently make a fuss of him. I think this is partly because he is pretty and also because he is very slow and limps so gets a lot of sympathy.

My lab loves attention. If other people didn't constantly approach him,he wouldn't approach others. The only way to train him out of this is by not letting any strangers interact with him. This seems harsh when so many older people seem to get a lot of pleasure from making a fuss of him.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 01/11/2011 22:14

'don't expect me to love your dog the way you do'

That to me is the crux of the matter. A responsible owner does their best to ensure that their dog doesn't bother other people, and if the dog slips up apologises profusely. It's the not giving a toss attitude that gives all owners a bad name. I prevent my pup from jumping at people, unless they come up to him and encourage it Hmm. He is a work in progress, though, so I expect the odd transgression behaviour wise. But I will never think it's ok for him to jump at people ar scare them. Because it isn't.

PartyPooperz · 01/11/2011 22:14

lesley33 Would your lovely lab go for a sausage in a child's hand about to eat it? I suppose you wouldn't know because as you say, no dog can be perfectly behaved all the time. And he does love sausages as you say. Good for you taking the risk and wanting everyone else to join you in taking that risk too! Hmm

I love dogs. Have had dogs all my life. Cannot abide the majority of dog-owners though with their utterly myopic view of dogs and how everyone should love them and not mind them jumping up at them. Makes me sad because if the dog does bite, it won't be the owner being put down (sadly) it will be the dog. So silly dogowners who want people to be okay about dogs jumping up at people (awwww he only wants to say hello - oh sorry was your child about to eat that?) actually don't really care that much about their dog at all. Well not enough to want to keep it alive and with them, more than they want to indulge in cutesie ooh aren't you naughty rover, oh he's only being friendly moments.

And do people really think there is any analogy between children and dogs? How bizarre. Even when my DC were teething they would have been completely unable to savage me to death had they thrown a wobbler and I couldn't calm them down/bring them back with some distraction.

Housewifefromheaven · 01/11/2011 22:15

Just because I don't like dogs running up to me doesn't mean I hate dogs. I happen to have one. I also happen to love my personal space and should be able to choose what/who enters it :)