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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

erm.. chocolate finger for 10 month old at nursery?

355 replies

DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 18:31

I didn't put anything on his form saying that I didn't want him to have cakes/biscuits/chocolate so maybe I am being unreasonable but I was a bit Shock to be told that the nursery had given DS a chocolate finger today. I said 'oh, really?' but now I am home I think that actually I am stupid for not saying something and now I feel annoyed with them and annoyed with myself.

What to do Sad? I have to say something. I was told that they feed the babies healthy food, no juice and so on so I thought they might know that chocoloate fingers for a baby that old is not normal? Or is it? Am I the weird one?

It's a good nursery, highly recommended and they haven't done anything I don't like before.

OP posts:
BOOareHaunting · 31/10/2011 20:15

YABU because you hadn't asked them not to, You assumed and were wrong.

YANBU to ask them not to give him them anymore.

Also GREAT tip for chocolate fingers. Bite off the end, put in cup of coffee/hot chocolate, suck then put in mouth. Its Devine pgrin]

threeisthemagicnumber · 31/10/2011 20:32

BLW weaning sounds much more wholesome Grin

One of my faveourite pictures of DD3 is the grin (and chocolate) on her face that day.

And yes I did get the camera and take a few pictures before ripping said chocolate finger out of her hands and finishing it off myself

HeidiKat · 31/10/2011 20:37

Oh dear I must be a monstrous parent then, 10 month old DD got fed a packet of milkybar buttons at the weekend to keep her quiet happy in a restaurant for a family meal. We paid for that when the sugar high wore off though.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 31/10/2011 20:39

FGS you don't need to say anything. In all the time he's been going this is the first time he's had one, it's Halloween, just let it go. He'll probably have something at the Christmas party too - 2 biscuits from nursery in several months is not going to hurt, going in to make a fuss about one Halloween biscuit is going to make you look like a right PITA.

... and all of this I was brought up on a really healthy diet and I think it's been a good foundation for me and would like to do the same for my son just makes you look like a sanctimonious prat. Implying that the rest of us who think that one chocolate finger is not the end of the world are all terrible people & aren't giving our children 'a good foundation' is just twattery.

MollyintheMoon · 31/10/2011 20:39

My 10 month old loves jam sandwiches but surely a chocolate finger is a totally different animal!

Disclaimer: I've just asked DH what he thinks and he said I'm being too precious. [hshock]

I told him where he can stick his chocolate finger [hgrin]

vncenvano · 31/10/2011 20:39

Oooh! DD had her first chocolate finger at church yesterday. She's 12m and she loved it. It became the very best thing in the world for her, for about 20 minutes (she's not got many useable teeth yet). She's DC3 so I'm quite sanguine about such things.

academyblues · 31/10/2011 20:40

YANBU. I'd have been annoyed if either of my children had been given a chocolate finger at nursery, and would definitely ask them not to.

It's completely unnecessary at 10 months and the baby is far to young to feel 'left out'.

I don't think it's monstrous parenting, just not something I do, although to be fair, some people do regularly give things like that to small babies and don't think anything of it.

topknob · 31/10/2011 20:42

ha ha seriously OP? lighten up !

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 20:44

lol

what you all do for your children is no concern of mine honestly. Stuff them full of chocolate buttons, I really don't care. Grin You have no need to confess your sins to me. I was only asking and this is AIBU so I knew someone would feel offended enough by my choices to call me a twat sooner or later. Well done Grin

OP posts:
billgrangersrisotto · 31/10/2011 20:47

Yabu

DitaVonCheese · 31/10/2011 20:48

Hello OP Grin - will you be adding Fray Bentos pies to that list? Wink

Tbh I feel/felt the same - DD doesn't really need it. OTOH I didn't want to make it so unusual/a treat/forbidden that she'd go nuts for chocolate etc when she did get the chance. I also, like you, found that lots of other people (like my grannies - I had to talk my gran out of buying DD a two finger Twix when she was about a year old Hmm) have a different idea to me of what is a good amount of sugar for a young child.

However, if it helps, despite DD having a lot more chocolate/biscuits/etc (still don't really do sweets) than I planned, she is now pretty good at self-regulating. Don't know whether it's the BLW or just her natural preference (so I'm not sure how much credit I can claim for my excellent parenting Wink) but some of my smuggest proudest parenting moments have been when she's turned down cake in favour of fresh peas/an apricot/an apple.

lilolilmanchester · 31/10/2011 21:15

I am also of the "if you ban it, they'll only crave it" school of thought - chocolate as little ones, alcohol as teenagers. My personal view is that 10 months is a bit young to start teaching this lesson, as is 10 years for alcohol. But it's a personal view - we can all make our own choices. And posting in AIBU was always going to get the twat helpful responses you did.... but you also had some of us knowing where you are coming from...

lilolilmanchester · 31/10/2011 21:17

(now craving Frey Bentos pies as well as chocolate fingers, but at least I have wine!)

BoffinMum · 31/10/2011 21:18

Somebody had better break to my kids that toffee apples do not constitute one of their five fruit and veg a day. Wink

RitaMorgan · 31/10/2011 21:27

It is totally normal to give a baby an occasional chocolate biscuit. Most people wouldn't have an issue with it, so it is unreasonable to expect the nursery to know you would have a problem with it if you haven't informed them.

If you don't want your child to have certain foods, tell the nursery that.

NinthWave · 31/10/2011 21:34

Pffft. Two months ago I caught my 4yo laying a trail of Smarties on the floor - the 10mo was crawling along behind him hoovering them up Blush

Olivetti · 31/10/2011 21:34

YANBU because it's your baby, and it's up to you, as you say. SO why ask for people's opinions?? Anyway, you did ask, and my view is this. People seem to forget that babies are simply little humans! They won't explode the minute a grain of sugar passes their lips. Everyone needs a balanced diet, and that can include some sugary stuff. My 11 month old DD has a chocolate biscuit is there's one going around. She also stuffs herself with fruit and veg on a daily basis! The bulk of one's diet needs to be healthy and nutritious, but a few empty calories don't do much harm!

EmmaBemma · 31/10/2011 21:34

My 10 month old loves jam sandwiches but surely a chocolate finger is a totally different animal!

I don't think a jam sandwich is at all nutritionally superior to a chocolate finger! (I wouldn't have a problem with feeding my youngest either of the above, however - everything in moderation, etc)

auntiepicklebottom2 · 31/10/2011 21:35

yabu, but only because you didn't put it on the form.

mjlovesscareypants · 31/10/2011 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NinkyNonker · 31/10/2011 21:39

I don't think Yabu really, why feed a baby crap when you have the choice not to?

EightiesChickOrTreat · 31/10/2011 21:50

My DS's nursery have the daily menus available for parents. If you think your son is getting chocolate fingers daily, which I seriously doubt, you could check the menus and ask to speak to the manager about them. I would be 99% sure that this was a Halloween celebration treat and will not happen regularly - however, I suggest, as others have said, that you make your wishes clear to the nursery. Clearly healthy eating at all times is important to you, so I am puzzled tbh why you didn't talk this through with them or put it on the form. It obviously either wasn't so important at the time, or you didn't want to look unusual. Either way, it behoves you to communicate clearly with them now, especially since Christmas is coming and there will be another round of party food then.

hairylights · 31/10/2011 21:51

Hello Duelling YANBU.

If the nursery has said they only give healthy snacks, I'd be pretty annoyed.

And I would also not give chocolate/sweets/cake to my own child til later on in life.

And I would also never give another person's child something like this.

All this 'lighten up' and 'twattery' is stupid. Ok, one chocolate finger isn't a big deal as in it's not going to harm him, but it's your choice, not theirs and as they have said they only give healthy snacks, they were wrong to do it without checking with you.

brdgrl · 31/10/2011 21:58

YANBU to feel a bit annoyed.
My DD had no sugar until her first birthday. I don't think there is anything wrong with other people giving their children chocolate/sugar; I chose not to. I would have been annoyed if someone else had given her sugar - and I really think at that age, the default position at the nursery should be not to introduce any new foods without the parent's permission.

However, I don't know how the communication was in your case, and I think it might possibly BU to make a big deal about it. I would definitely let them know how you feel about it, and maybe that will avoid any future issues.

KittyFane · 31/10/2011 22:10

I am finding it hard to believe that this OP is actually serious.

Biscuit
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