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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

erm.. chocolate finger for 10 month old at nursery?

355 replies

DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 18:31

I didn't put anything on his form saying that I didn't want him to have cakes/biscuits/chocolate so maybe I am being unreasonable but I was a bit Shock to be told that the nursery had given DS a chocolate finger today. I said 'oh, really?' but now I am home I think that actually I am stupid for not saying something and now I feel annoyed with them and annoyed with myself.

What to do Sad? I have to say something. I was told that they feed the babies healthy food, no juice and so on so I thought they might know that chocoloate fingers for a baby that old is not normal? Or is it? Am I the weird one?

It's a good nursery, highly recommended and they haven't done anything I don't like before.

OP posts:
MrBloomsNursery · 31/10/2011 22:50

OP, imagine all the chocolate/unhealthy snacks you eat in a week. Now imagine yourself breast feeding your baby. He's already eating what you eat so no need to get all anal about ONE CHOCOLATE FINGER.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 22:51

yet again MrBloom, your skillful presentation of an argument has made me doubt my myself. I am forever in your debt.

OP posts:
Kayano · 31/10/2011 22:51

Sorry to have confused 'tickbox' with that you did not write on the form...

Basic principle that the nursery are not psychic remains the same...

brdgrl · 31/10/2011 22:51

as for my DD not having sugar until she was a year old - that is hardly a radical parenting choice? nor does it mean that i think 12 months is a magic number at which point the nursery would have been in the right.

i said no such thing in my post. you just extrapolated that, incorrectly.

MrBloomsNursery · 31/10/2011 22:54

It's okay. I do what I can to help people like you Wink.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 22:55

people like me are forever grateful.

linky < the NHS is spreading some terrible shite.

OP posts:
serin · 31/10/2011 22:56

The only way you can be totally sure of what she is eating is to keep her home and feed her yourself. IME some nursery (and school) staff do have odd ideas about what constitutes a healthy diet. If you complain how sure can you be that they won't give her sugar just to spite you/prove it won't kill her Haha.... It is very easy to become the nutty sugar hating Mummy and the butt of jokes (as this thread shows).

I consider our family to be fairly relaxed with regard to eating (everything in moderation) but I do cringe inwardly when DS's come out of primary school each day clutching packets of haribo because its someones birthday.
Or a teacher has handed them out as a reward!

CurrySpice · 31/10/2011 22:56

Yes brdgrl I do understand the difference. Your original post implied you did not. So yes, you should have added the word "processed" or "natural" to you post to show you did.

so Hmm back atcha!

brdgrl · 31/10/2011 22:57

duelingfanjo, rest assured - you are not alone. my health visitor advised me not to give DD salt or sugar excuse me, ADDED sugar, until after she was a year old. i trusted this advice, and it suited the way i wanted to parent. sheesh.

DitaVonCheese · 31/10/2011 22:58

I am rofling at breastmilk being basically pureed adult food. Fack me, I've inadvertently given 14 wo DS McDonald's this week Grin

brdgrl · 31/10/2011 22:59

yes, silly us for following medical guidelines!

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 23:06

I am rofling at the fact that there's a massive assumption that I have eaten shedloads of shite all week long. Obviously I have rebeled so far against my hippy liberal food nazi childhood that I must have eaten my way through several cake shops and the local KFC, because that's what we poor deprived children do, donchaknow!

The ones who were fed MaccyDs and black-jacks are all sipping their wheatgrass smoothies and eating couscous!

OP posts:
MrBloomsNursery · 31/10/2011 23:06

That link is talking about incorporating sugary food in an EVERYDAY scenario. No one would be that stupid to give babies chocolate every single day.

If it's any help: DD was in nursery from age 5 months and ate birthday cake etc from age 10 months when the children in her group started turning 1. She was 11 months old on halloween and had party food to eat. Bare in mind, it was only a rare occurrence that the nursery gave them sugary snacks.

At nearly 4 years of age my daughter isn't a fan of chocolate or sweet things. She gets into the hype about sweet things (as she thinks you need to get excited about it) but when it comes to eating, she will take two bites and leave the rest.

She eats about 4 apples or pears a day. She will finish a bag of satsumas by herself. She forced me to go to Tesco yesterday so she could buy "green apples" (granny smiths). This is the same little baby that was given sugary snacks at nursery on special occasions.

Don't over complicate things. Just go with the flow and give your child a balanced diet and don't fret about silly things like a chocolate finger.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 31/10/2011 23:07

Yes - of course - one chocolate biscuit, completely and totally going against all medical guidelines - just line us up and shoot us now.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 23:12

well I did ask in my OP if I was odd to think chocolate for babies was strange. Seems most people don't think it is, in moderation.

Which I agree with. I guess I was more shocked because it's his first ever taste of something chocolaty and I just thought that in a nursery setting they may think twice about giving something like that to a young baby. Clearly they don't. There are younger babies there too and I wonder what the protocol is for feeding those babies sugary treats, even occassionally?

Would they look at each baby's record and see if the parents had written anything or would they be more cautious with a younger baby?

I wonder if they have a magical age at which they decide it's ok to start with the sugary snacks?

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 31/10/2011 23:16

Well to be fair OP you had decided that 1 year was the magical age for your DS :o

PelvicFlAAAARGHOfSteel · 31/10/2011 23:20

I wouldn't give a 10mo baby chocolate either.

I think it would form a very interesting subtext to this thread if you could see the posters who were making the comments. Some of DP's family think I'm a bit anally retentive about food, but I'm a fairly healthy body size and they're very overweight. When the person sneering about how a few treats won't hurt your baby is well over a size 20 (wouldn't like to hazard an exact guess how much over) it does make you wonder how much they really know about healthy eating.

With babies if they've never had it they don't miss it, there's plenty of time to enjoy chocolate when they're older. DS1 didn't have any chocolate until at least 18 months, he's now 3 and he does enjoy sweets and treats but doesn't go mad for them. Most people have told me how lucky I am to have such an unfussy eater, (as yet the only food we've found that he doesn't really like is beetroot) I like to think not giving him a sweet tooth early has something to do with it.

MrBloom - BM doesn't contain the food you've eaten, in the same way cow's milk isn't the same thing as grass, milk will contain traces of flavours from things you've eaten, but the nutritional content stays pretty similar whether you eat lettuce or lard.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 23:21

I said at least one, so it may well have been longer.

OP posts:
Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 23:22

incidentally, as we're having the discussion. Someone in my famuly gave DS a swig of Dr pepper just over a month ago when my back was turned. How do people feel about that?

OP posts:
Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 23:23

family

OP posts:
brdgrl · 31/10/2011 23:24

look, as i said above, i thought my health visitor's advice was good, i read up in the books i trusted, and also, it suited what i wanted to do anyway. i could care less if anyone else gives their kid chocolate or not - and, dear god, i certainly don't think there is anything wrong with them choosing to do so - but i ALSO certainly don't think the OP is unreasonable to be annoyed that the nursery made that decision for her, and that they could have reasonably been expected to avoid doing it, seeing that it does go against official recommendations.

i agree that it seems like a case of OP not communicating her preferences, but I think it is a bit muddy because she really should not have to assume that the default position is to give a baby chocolate.

no one should feel criticised by this position, except maybe the nursery!

PelvicFlAAAARGHOfSteel · 31/10/2011 23:27

I'd be fuming if anyone gave a fizzy, caffeinated drink to DS2 (similar age to your DS), wouldn't be overly happy about DS1 having it but would probably let it go.

I think it's fair to say I am not that liberal when it comes to food for babies and young children. Smile

MollyintheMoon · 31/10/2011 23:40

I think the 'magical age' at which they start eating sugary treats is the age that they actually want them. A 10 month old has no idea a biscuit is a treat so why not stick to a really healthy diet?

skybluepearl · 31/10/2011 23:40

I can't see the point in giving a 10 month old complete crap to eat when they can eat something thats nice but healthy at the same time. I had a lovely healthy diet as a child and I want to give my kids the same solid foundation. I would be nicely asking the nursery how often they are doing this and can they give him a nicer alternative instead. Obviously when they attend parties/celebrations as a 2 or 3 year old they will have treats but I do think it's nice to let babies establish healthy taste for foods first before trying out crap. I cringe when i see mothers feeding young babies mixed diets of chips, crisps, pizza, cake and sweets. I wonder if they have a brain in their heads!

QuintessentialShadow · 31/10/2011 23:44

Yanbu.

Look at some of your other replies. No wonder that this is soon becoming a nation of obesity. People are so indulgent, and ill informed when it comes to healthy food habits.

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