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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

erm.. chocolate finger for 10 month old at nursery?

355 replies

DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 18:31

I didn't put anything on his form saying that I didn't want him to have cakes/biscuits/chocolate so maybe I am being unreasonable but I was a bit Shock to be told that the nursery had given DS a chocolate finger today. I said 'oh, really?' but now I am home I think that actually I am stupid for not saying something and now I feel annoyed with them and annoyed with myself.

What to do Sad? I have to say something. I was told that they feed the babies healthy food, no juice and so on so I thought they might know that chocoloate fingers for a baby that old is not normal? Or is it? Am I the weird one?

It's a good nursery, highly recommended and they haven't done anything I don't like before.

OP posts:
comedycentral · 31/10/2011 18:47

They could have been more imaginative with the Halloween treats to keep them healthy for the little ones, they could have had apple pieces dipped in blood (raspberry puree).

lemniscate · 31/10/2011 18:47

OP I know where you're coming from (and knew you'd get these responses :o) I'm actually a pretty laidback mum (I think some people are shocked by things I let slide really), but two of the things I'm quite PFB (and PSB!) about are that I don't want my DCs eating too much sweet stuff or watching too much tv and so I like to be in charge of that as much as possible while they are little (3 and 13mo), so I am a bit Hmm about nursery letting the preschoolers watch a DVD if they want after lunch for 30 mins or the baby having a chocolate mousse occasionally for her pudding. However, I have chosen to send them to nursery and their diet is 90% not empty calories so similar to if not quite as high standards as home and the tv watching is more than balanced by wonderful activities so I let it slide, albeit with a bit of a shudder :o

Chances are the chocolate finger was a Halloween thing. Let them know if it continues that you would prefer he didn't get it and they should stick with your wishes, but unfortunately you'll just have to accept that this is part and parcel of somebody other than yourself looking after your child and remind yourself of all the good things he'll be getting out of nursery too.

I know how you feel though. I don't think sweet stuff is bad per se - my SIL has completely banned anything sugary and many other things like sausages too and her DCs now sneak behind her back to get it! - but I like to ration it appropriately and it took me a while to relax about the occasional bit at nursery.

durhambound · 31/10/2011 18:48

Well you might aswell have some control whilst you can. Grin

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 18:49

this is not about missing 'firsts' it's more about wanting to be able to give him a decent diet. I accept that one chocolate finger won't kill him.

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 31/10/2011 18:49

I'm a bit surprised at the nursery tbh
Inremember being rang at work with my dcs 'is it ok for them to have party food at the Xmas party!'
I was agog at being asked but they were 2 and 4 I think
Just surprised your nursery hadn't asked beforehand

TheBloodCountessBathory · 31/10/2011 18:50

Obviously one chocolate finger will not do him any harm but I would be annoyed too DuelingFanjo - Nursery staff will surely know that many 10 month old babies will not have tried chocolate yet . . . seems like they could have checked with you at the beginning of the day.

My DD stuffed chocolate cake in her mouth at about that age - but I was there, it was MY decision! (aside from anything else you have missed seeing that happy chocolate face for the first time!)

ladyintheradiator · 31/10/2011 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 18:54

I suppose I could always get that Happy chocolate face now by stuffing him full of lion bar Grin

OP posts:
lemniscate · 31/10/2011 18:55

DuelinFanjo - you probably need to try to see his diet in its entirety. Chocolate fingers twice a day every day with no fruit is probably bad, but the occasional chocolate finger when you feed him a very healthy diet the rest of the time is actually a perfect balanced diet: everything in moderation, just some things more in moderation than others. As I said, my SIL refused to let her DCs have chocolate, cake (her PFB DS ate an omelette on his first birthday while the parents and GPs ate his cake Shock), ice cream etc. and has since tightened up further so that tehy don't get things like sausages and have to eat at least 3 vegetables with every meal, only wholewheat pasta and are only given organic etc. And at 7 and 6 they are rebelling hugely - swap their lunches with children at school to get sweet stuff or cocktail sausages, always asking GPs or friends for sweet snacks when out and about, and then petrified of telling their mum what they did actually eat... So the occasional chocolate finger may stop your DS from seeing chocolate as exotic, forbidden fruit in the future...

But as I said, I do know where you're coming from (I've just been traumatised by baby's refusal to even try broad beans for tea :o)

NormanTebbit · 31/10/2011 18:58

I think everything in moderation even at that age. You / nursery are in control - so baby will not be having crisps for breakfast, dairylea Dunkers and a packet of maltesers for lunch, smiley faces and tomato ketchup for tea- there are some babies that grow up on that crap every day.

One chocolate finger as part of a healthy balanced diet is not something to worry about.

Moomim · 31/10/2011 19:00

I don't think YABU. I would be pretty peeved. PFB or not I wouldn't eat a chocolate finger and I wouldn't want DD to have one either. What she's does when she's old enough to argue her case is something else, but when they're wee you decide what's best- no-one else.

MrBloomsNursery · 31/10/2011 19:00

ARGH...This is going to turn into the Jam Sandwich thread. Get a life OP, there's no harm in ONE CHOCOLATE FINGER.

durhambound · 31/10/2011 19:00

I had a day when I hadn't given ds any fruit and veg and when I pointed it out to him that he had better have an apple or banana he piped up that he had had a packet of fruit skittles! No sorry darling, they don't actually count as one of your five a day. Blush

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 19:00

I can understand a broad bean refuser Grin

I was raised on a very healty diet but then developed a serious happy shopper coke (drink) habit when I had money from my paper round so I know he will rebel, I just wanted to keep him eating healthily for as long as possible - WAIL! Sad

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 31/10/2011 19:00

I can't see that the odd chocolate finger is a problem.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 19:02

omg, mrbloom... your measured words of wisdom and common sense have once again converted me. Thank you Wink I will get the thread deleted immediately!

OP posts:
TiggyD · 31/10/2011 19:04

YABU.
He had some chocolate which you didn't want him to have, but you hadn't told anybody. How stupid is that!? How the hell were they supposed to guess that when they asked you if there was any food he couldn't have, you lied to them?

HuwEdwards · 31/10/2011 19:05

I have much older kids and so I was tempted to pooh-pooh your post but I have to think back to what I was like with my first Smile

If there are foods you definitely don't want him to have, you need to say - and be quite explicit - no chocolate, no biscuits (shop-bought cake?) no crisps etc.etc..

MenopausalHaze · 31/10/2011 19:08

Boycott chocolate fingers! Start now!

NormanTebbit · 31/10/2011 19:08

I'm not sure what you want people to say... Especially on Halloween when most precious darlings are dragging home mega buckets filled with sweeties after a night of guising.

DD3 found the 'weeties' this morning and I did school pick up with a beautiful blonde cherub eating a chupa chups lolly Blush

latrucha · 31/10/2011 19:11

I think I would have been annoyed with this with DC1 TBH. DC2 however can identify a chocolate figner at 100 yards.

I'd just say you'd prefer it if he didn't have chocolate and leave it at that. I'd be amazedand not too bothered if they really stuck to it though.

Kayano · 31/10/2011 19:12

Well you didn't fill out the form so YABU
Tell them for next time but they are not psychic

exoticfruits · 31/10/2011 19:12

It is going to be a shame when he has to just watch everyone else.

MrBloomsNursery · 31/10/2011 19:14

He's 10 months old...I am sure he's already forgotten the taste of the ONE CHOCOLATE FINGER and it's not like he's going to climb out of his cot and go rummaging through your kitchen cupboards looking for CHOCOLATE FINGERS OR CHOCOLATE. Just tell them no more chocolate at the nursery and get over it.

threeisthemagicnumber · 31/10/2011 19:14

I would have reacted the same with my first. And only a little bit more relaxed with DD2.

DD3 was given a chocolate finger by her sister when she was sitting in a Bumbo at 5 months so, officially, it was her first solid food [hblush].

And yes, she had eaten most of it by the time i got to her.

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