Dog off lead running at DD in park

[megcleary]

AIBU to have roared at man who said oh he won't hurt her.

My comments on his dog owning skills included the fact there is no sign on the dog to say he won't attack DD, the dog should be on a lead, sign as you enter park and the dog did not return/ respond when he called it.

His response was to tell me to shut up.

I hate dogs on the loose in the park.

dd1 used to be fine with dogs until some moron with an uncontrollable staffy cross let his dog jump up at her, paw at her, and chew her coat.

Now she freezes and screams if one comes near. I had taught her the proper way to behave around dogs, but it's all been undone, and not by me.

Suckitandsee that's awful and there is no excuse for irresponsible dog ownership. For what it's worth, my godson had similar and I've taught him to stand his ground, turn around and fold his arms - classic 'I'm ignoring you, go away' body language for dogs. It's taken some time but it is working and he is getting more confident around dogs.

suckit- that is hard and so frustrating. your poor dd.

ifancy - that's useful to know. i did post earlier for any suggestions on how to discourage a fear of dogs in kids (it got missed in all of the 'banter' going on). both of mine seem to freeze with dogs (they are 4 and 19 months). my 4 year old says 'they bite' - i tell him dogs are friendly, but you must not move fast or wave your arms or shout in front of them. but then i do want my kids to have a respect and ever so slightly nervous respect for them too. tis difficult.

Well at last some common ground flatbread!!

I agree- experiences such as a dog walk in the park or a visit with children to a restaurant are about learning how to function in the wider environment as well as exercise / eating

But that is no excuse for the fact that you operate within a respectful basic code of conduct. Would 'you expect a random child to run up and snatch food off your plate in a restaurant? Would you go and nuzzle up to an unknown couple and insist on talking to them?! Obviously not.

Yet there are still people on this thread who are trying to maintain that it's acceptable to let their unleashed dog approach other leashed dogs and bound up and jump at people and perhaps even steal food off them

It ISNT ok! Not everyone wants your dog all over them , and as a few responsible owners have pointed out, not all dog walkers with a leashed dog want your dog running up and sniffing/ licking it . It's about the common respect for others that goes with enjoying any sort of public space.

Callmemrs, well, kids can disturb others in a restuarant, but in a different way. Sometimes they shout and wail and create a din and parents then have to drag them outside. Most annoying, but something diners put up with, because these things happen, and it is part and parcel of the socialization process for kids.

In Spain, kids would come up to my table and have a chat, and the parents would just smile and see if it was ok (which it totally was for me). If I ignored the child, I am sure the parents would have called their kids away. No harm and no hard feelings either way.

Oh gawd, that reminds me of an 8 year old or so boy coming up and standing about 3cms behind my kids on holiday, whilst we were eating out and poking his tongue out. His mum just sat at the other table and knew he was there, but just wasn't bothered. I mean, we are trying to eat a meal, you don't let your kids go and harrass other diners! Anyway, I digress.

And I don't get this whole responsible owners thing on his thread. The owners who keep touting themselves as responsible, seem to have nervous, aggressive dogs.

Mine is well socialised. She does not act aggressively towards other dogs or humans. She accepts man-handling from over-eager kids without any fuss. She even lets them pull her tail and takes it all good naturedly. But oh no, I am irresponsible, because, gasp, my dog while off-lead, can go and wag her tail at a human or god forbid, take an extra sniff on occasion before returning to me (roll eyes)

"The owners who keep touting themselves as responsible, seem to have nervous, aggressive dogs."

Nervous and aggressive maybe, but under control on a lead.

Ps. if you are going to try pulling the "my dog is well behaved" card, my dog was a rescue who'd been mistreated for 12 years and was in pain constantly due to cancer and arthritis. So feel superior if you like

So are you arguing that it's okay to allow children or animals in your care to annoy others flat bread?

I'm a tad confused with where your argument is going?!

You said unthread that if your dog were to snatch food off someone (which you said has never happened but could) you would expect the other person to laugh it off as 'one of those things' and open the spare sarnies!

There is no need whatsoever to allow your children or animals to annoy others. A responsible parent will teach their child to sit at their own table in a restaurant. A responsible parent will be engaging with their own child so it wont even feel the need to wander off and annoy other diners who may want an undisturbed evening

And a responsible parent would certainly leave if a child started to shout or scream

This thread now seems to have gone down the road of 'well some people are annoying, therefore its justified for some dog owners to be!'
Its most bizarre. Why not just accept as a baseline, behaviour which respects others? Whether it involves kids or animals?

upthread

FWIW, my earliest remembered experiences with dogs are of visiting relatives who had four Irish wolfhounds who would all rush at whoever arrived outside the house - really something when you're pre-school-age and not anywhere near as tall as their shoulders.
I remember instinctively standing stock still and that they'd calm down very quickly.
Even at that age it seemed clear that panicking really wouldn't be a smart option.

Children generally have extremely good instincts (and by this I don't mean that they should be left alone with dogs or encouraged to rush at them shrieking 'woof' - as so many in my area do, to the apparent amusement and approval of their parents ). I mean that their fear of dogs might come more from horror stories than actual experiences, very often.

Of course I feel very, very much for anyone who has had negative experiences around dogs, but I also wonder how much these are to do with myths and misinformation about dogs - things like an irrational sentiment that they're somehow akin to toys and confusion about the extent to which they're 'tame' or 'wild': the same confusion, actually that I see often in some dog owners (usually with small dogs who've been made aggressive by their owners' confusion and mismanagement of them because they can't quite accept that their dog is a dog. Same also with some owners who think they've got a 'good breed' (these days that generally means a labradoodle, a few years back it was Dalmations)).

I know DBF has (sort of) said this time and time again, but really, dogs are generally far more reliable than some of the people who buy them.

Dunno what my point is, really. But I think everyone should read John Bradshw's 'In Defence of Dogs'.
Ah, here's my point. I think if people aren't too messed up they can have fabulous relationships with dogs.
Andrew, you said nobody needs a dog to go for long walks with. I wouldn't feel safe walking to most of the places I do without dogs, nor would I see the amzing wildlife if I were with other people.

Callmemrs, no, I am not saying it is ok. What I am saying is that this happens a lot in any society - dogs and kids invade other peoples private space and parents/owners try to rectify the situation as soon as they can.

What I don't get is the drama and hysterics around it all.

And I don't get this whole responsible owners thing on his thread. The owners who keep touting themselves as responsible, seem to have nervous, aggressive dogs.

Yes my dog is aggressive and unpredictable to other dogs,mainly through fear.It might have something to do with the fact that she was beaten with a dog chain as a puppy and had both her legs broken, and was left in a field to die. or the fact that she has a steel plate in her head due to have beaten with an iron bar. She gets upset if anyone gets aggressive or snarly.

I have had her 2 years now, she is the most loving dog ever, is my shadow,loves DH and DD, and also loves my grandson who is 9 mths. No sensible dog owner would ever leave a child with a dog alone,but she hasn't even so much as looked at him the wrong way.

She is under my control on a lead and muzzle (unless very early morning/late at night).The only reason I have to muzzle her is because of stupid dog owners that have their off lead dog coming up to mine, and think it is okay for their dog to play ,and not recall properly.

As I said, I might have a chance to socialise her,if she was left alone to get over her fear. I am trying to train her with high value treats to see another dog as a positive thing.

She was fabulous in the vets last night with another dog,cos she got a chance to be introduced properly.

I think most people have said they wouldn't do drama and hysterics, and have actually criticised the op for reacting like that ( although clearly the guy was a twat 'for having his dog off leash in that area)

However, people are quite entitled to be annoyed and pissed off with other peoples dogs invading their space - or other peoples kids

And YOU were the person who raised the issue of your dog hypothetically stealing someones picnic food, and you said that if this occurred, you'd hope they'd 'lighten up', laugh if off and basically accept it as one of those things

Many of us (dog owners included) have pointed out that thats irresponsible and that it isn't just 'one of those things'- its the owners responsibility to avoid it happening.

I think YABU and I dont like dogs, but appreciate they have a right to park space too. My two ds know to stand still if a dog runs over and wait for the owner, it is annoying when people say ' they only want to play' but it doesnt mean they are in the wrong. Dogs inside play areas are a different matter, but outside the general park area is for all

That was to flatbread btw.
Susanne - totally agree. It's not up to any of us to use other people dogs or children as a 'socialising experiment '

I agree that parks are for dogs and children to use. However, as my dog is a typical greedy, sociable labrador, I tend to walk him off lead in the park early in the morning when there are no families, only other dog owners around and on lead later in the day when there are families around. As a dog lover the last thing I want is to be responsible for putting a child (who doesn't appreciate my dog is being friendly/greedy) off dogs for life.

Susanne, sorry that your dog was so badly treated by a human. Great to hear that he is doing well in your family...poor thing!

Flatbread, has it every occured to you that some of us have rescue dogs and are trying our best to un-do damage that previous owners have caused? A task which is made harder by numptys who believe their precious ball of fluff has the right to wander anywhere it pleases.

And as you pointed out earlier Dooin, some of our unsocial dogs might have been socialised earlier if only they were allowed to socialise on their own terms and not when other people decide to let their dogs run up.

Dooin, my girl came with issues as well. It just struck me as a bit ironic that the people who kept saying they are responsible dog owners, seem to have nervous dogs. And you indicated that I was irresponsible. Well, obviously I seem to have done something right as my dog has not gone and frightened a kid or got into any fight with another dog.

Maybe the dog sense your stress when another dog approaches and over reacts?

"It just struck me as a bit ironic that the people who kept saying they are responsible dog owners, seem to have nervous dogs."

Responsible does not equal miracle worker.

Yes, it must be me preventing him from getting on with others dogs. Which is why I have successfully introduced two new dogs into our house since getting him and have helped him befriend two out of three of my Dad's dogs and a few friendly Staffies from the park with responsible owners who allow controlled greetings and are happy to go at my dogs pace, rather than letting their dogs bound upto him, which is something he does not see as a game.