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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dog off lead running at DD in park

480 replies

megcleary · 26/10/2011 16:19

AIBU to have roared at man who said oh he won't hurt her.

My comments on his dog owning skills included the fact there is no sign on the dog to say he won't attack DD, the dog should be on a lead, sign as you enter park and the dog did not return/ respond when he called it.

His response was to tell me to shut up.

I hate dogs on the loose in the park.

OP posts:

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 13:58

Of course she means she shouted (roared) at the man to get his dog away when it was running towards her child.

What else would she have meant? I don't imagine she roared like a lion?!

Goldenbrown1981 · 27/10/2011 13:59

SardineQueen Thu 27-Oct-11 13:55:17
But goldenbrown you have just said that no-one on the thread thinks that anyway.

No I didnt. I said that nobody has sated that the dog should be off lead in a park which sates dogs should be ON LEAD. The statements you have found do not state ON LEAD parks, and that is the important part of my statement.

I await that one being twisted

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:00

Here

I am having a go at the the owner here. The one point may take away is not to roar but I was trying to get the owner to act/ move / deal with the dog, not dawdle towords us going he won't hurt her.

DooinMeCleanin · 27/10/2011 14:00

I give my poor recall dog a run on the bike Love, when I don't have time to walk him to appropriate dog exercise areas, where there is no chance of him running into on-lead dogs or people who are afraid of dogs. There are ways and means of ensuring your dog gets enough exercise if they are difficult to train.

My dog will have total recall. He is far too interested in wild game. I am very, very carefull where he is let off, unless he is on his long line.

If your dog is trained to recall immediately, as my other two are, there is nothing wrong with allowing them off lead in appropriate areas of the park/beach.

DrNortherner · 27/10/2011 14:00

Yes there are plenty of places that dogs can be exercised of leads - fields, country lanes, the beach, downlands. Unfortunatley for dog owners there are no signs that exist saying "Dogs exercising off lead area" and since open spaces are public spaces, some members of the public will always panic when they se a dog running free and think they have no right to be there.

To be happy and balanaced dogs need many things, one of which is to run free. This is what they do, it's what they live for. The majority of dogs you see running in the park are having fun, and have no interest in biting your kids or you. I find these folk who get a tad hysterical have no understanding about dogs whatsoever.

Goldenbrown1981 · 27/10/2011 14:01

No Sardine. I imagined that she roared in a giving the man a telling off after the event kind of way. I'm sorry we can't all be as perfect as you and I'm wondering why I am now being critisised for saying the OP WNBU

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:02

But goldenbrown OP said the entire situation in her post and was told that she was BU. Because dogs need exercise etc.

I am just not sure why you can't or won't see that.

People don't usually recite back every point raised in the OP when they say YABU or YANBU.

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 14:02

Dooin - I've seen her on the lead - I don't think there is any way at all you could combine holding with cycling safely! And she is very aggressive so I'm not sure if a long lead would be safe. But it sounds like you do a great job with your dogs.

DogsBeastFiend · 27/10/2011 14:03

"As for people "getting in my dogs face" - if they're screeching theatrically as two dogs go past on a lead on the opposite side of the path to them (deliberately as far away as possible) - then yep, I'm doing nothing wrong and the other person's being a fucking moron and I WILL have a go back because I'm not having it."

Been there. Met that type of idiot and their PFB.

Happy to agree with you that they are being fucking morons and have on occasion told them so.

My only regret is that I haven't told them on every occasion but tbh there have been some where I have been too stunned at the idiots' capacity for arseholeishness to respond. (Like the new word there? :o ).

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:04

But you didn't need to imagine what she meant - as she explained what happened upthread.

Goldenbrown1981 · 27/10/2011 14:04

AIBU to have roared at man who said oh he won't hurt her.

This comment suggests that this happened during some kind of dialogue. i don't think I can be judged for seeing it this way

I'm starting to feel a bit uncomfortable with this as it seems to be getting a bit adamant to prove me wrong, even though I have already stated that I could see this differently an that has change my views.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:06

But goldenbrown she said upthread what heppend

I am having a go at the the owner here. The one point may take away is not to roar but I was trying to get the owner to act/ move / deal with the dog, not dawdle towords us going he won't hurt her.

I don't understand why there is this desire to defend posts that I don't see as defensible whn you didn't even post them. Why not just say, yes some people said OP was BU, I think they are wrong. I don't understand this at all.

DumSpiroScaro · 27/10/2011 14:06

If your dog is trained to recall immediately, as my other two are, there is nothing wrong with allowing them off lead in appropriate areas of the park/beach.

The point is that in OP's case it wasn't an appropriate area.

I like taking my DD to the beach, Downs etc. She is nervous of dogs but in those circumstances has to accept that they are as entitled to be there as she is. If I take her somewhere that dogs are not permitted/have to be on leads I don't expect to have to deal with someone blatantly ignoring those rules.

I will hold my hand up and admit that I am not a dog lover (although 4 of my closest friends have dogs that I get fine with).

This is based on 4 bad experiences with dogs - 2 involving me directly, 2 concerning DD - 3 of which involved dogs with responsible owners that we knew well, they were not provoked, nor had they shown any previous signs of aggression.

Hence the whole, 'oh, he's fine' 'wouldn't hurt a fly' spiel from dog owners really hacks me off.

DooinMeCleanin · 27/10/2011 14:06

I have a bike lead. I don't hold him. That would not be very safe. My bike attatchment has a large spring to soften any sudden jerks or changes in direction from the dog.

There are also jogging leads available, if you don't fancy cycling. With both options you can choose how far away from you/your bike the dogs should be allowed. A truely aggressive dog should be muzzled in public.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:07

Is it an idea that dog owners need to stick together, even if some of them are saying things that are a bit iffy?

Goldenbrown1981 · 27/10/2011 14:08

I give up.

I can't debate with people who wont listen.

Hides thread

shagmundfreud · 27/10/2011 14:09

My very gentle and lovely Labrador barks at small children if they run up to her to stroke her. I didn't teach her to do this but I don't discourage it. I'm amazed at the number of people who don't intil discipline or common sense in their children when it comes to dogs. You don't just run up and touch a dog you don't know. And also surprised at how angry people look when my dog scares their toddler with the barking. They should be grateful - she's teaching them a valuable lesson.

OP - YANBU btw. If the rule for the park is that dogs should be on leads then dog shouldn't be roaming.

Would add though that my lab runs at toddlers and swerves away at the last minute. This is because she's a bit blind - she thinks they are 'her' dc's and only realises they're not when she gets close enough to see/smell them.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:09

I don;t know. What I do know is that people should obey the signs and things, and not let their dogs jump up at scared children while standing by saying "Don't worry she's just being friendly". It happens too much and it is not on.

rubyrubyruby · 27/10/2011 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DooinMeCleanin · 27/10/2011 14:10

Sardine, which thread are you reading?

One or two posters have said the Op was BU. Most other dog owners on the thread disagreed with that. I cannot remember seeing any posts stating that a dog should be allowed off leash in an on-lead park.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:11

I know ruby it is one of my less endearing traits

I don't know, I saw the posts saying "all dog owners have said X" and it's just not true. That's annoying.

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 14:14

Thanks, DooIn - I will tell my neighbour about bike leads, he does cycle so might be able to take her out like that to get some proper exercise.

I am of the view that she should be muzzled but can't think of any way I can say that which will not lead to a total breakdown in neighbourly relations.

flatbread · 27/10/2011 14:17

Taking dogs to parks is not all about a physical work-out as taking a kid to a restaurant is not all about food. It is about fitting in a larger social fabric and learning how to behave.

And to those posters who hate having dogs approach theirs on leash, all I can say is where I walk, there are very few, if any dogs on leash. It is really interesting to watch how the dogs approach each other. Mine will come close to me if she sees an unknown dog, she will watch intently and then go down on all fours in a submissive position and see how the other dog reacts. This is while the other dog is still a distance away, so she can watch his body language from a safe distance. Some dogs she will avoid entirely, while others she will give a cautious sniff to and they return the hello and then the dogs decide whether to have a small run together or say, nah, don't like your smell, bye-bye. I wonder if she learned this because of her early free-range upbringing. Some of the city dogs seem to not really know what to do when they see another dog.

startail · 27/10/2011 14:44

My DH and DD1 do not like dogs, it's no good you telling them they won't hurt and are perfectly friendly. They don't like them. Never have, never will.
Please call your dog back before it bounds up to strangers, some people really do get freaked by dogs. DHand DD1 aren't even great with ones they know well.
Personally I'm quite happy to stroke anything that doesn't growl and DD2 would love a dog.
So please dog owners please remember you may love your dog to pieces, but other people may not.

Ifancyashandy · 27/10/2011 15:14

I too get so frustrated when out and about with my dog. She looks like a teddy bear. Kids migrate towards her.

However, just because she looks cuddly it doesn't mean she is. I too have had small kids come rung up to her when she is off lead and parents shout at me when she starts to run with the kids. Fortunately she does have instant recall and 'Stop' so I'm able to avert any issues immediately but if you shout at me for having my dog off lead (in permitted areas), when it is your child who's causing my dog to run, I will either respond thus or ignor you.

Teach your kids to not approach my dog - on or off lead - unless they've spoken to me first. She might be the cleverest dog ever to paw the earth but she's yet to learn how to speak. Fortunately I can.

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