Dog off lead running at DD in park

[megcleary]

AIBU to have roared at man who said oh he won't hurt her.

My comments on his dog owning skills included the fact there is no sign on the dog to say he won't attack DD, the dog should be on a lead, sign as you enter park and the dog did not return/ respond when he called it.

His response was to tell me to shut up.

I hate dogs on the loose in the park.

X-post.

Mousy.... Why should anyone NOT get a dog?

So that parks can be safe and streets can be shit-free, especially for children. That's why. Nobody needs a dog.

If it was my (hypothetical) dog I would apologise for the fact he didn't return when called back. But I'd probably be quietly hacked off at your daughter screaming at the dog, and seriously unimpressed at you roaring at me.

I suspect I would have come over saying 'oh sorry he didn't come back to me, he's friendly' or words to that effect. But if you started having a go at me I'd tell you to naff off.

So, YANBU to expect an off lead dog to return when recalled, but YABU to have a go at the dog owner

I think you'll get very mixed opinions on this.
My sister is absolutely terrified of dogs, and, at 22, will still cross the road if she sees one coming the other way, even on a lead. She puts this down to being chased across the park at three years old by a dog who "only wanted to play." I still remember my dad screaming and shouting at the dog owner, and I think he was absolutely right to do so.
But I remember telling the story to my now Ex-DP a few years ago (he was a dog owner), and he felt quite strongly that it was my dad's reaction, rather than the dog itself, which caused my sister's fear, and apparently dad ought to blame himself entirely for it .

My DD is terrified of dogs (but has been getting better of late.Phew)

If there are loose dogs, I tell her to walk calmly, ignore the dog, don't draw attention to yourself.

TBH shouting at the owner is likely to inflame the situation and wind your daughter up. And I speak as a mum who's had all the "oh he only wants to play/he'll lick you to death owners.

I don't take my DD to woods where dogs will be loose. Or beaches when it's not high season.
I have no problem with dogs, my DS loves them.
But I gets pi**ed off with dogs on beaches at high summer (dog free time) and in the gated /fenced play area. Had a flaming row diagreement with a man who let his dog crap in the childrens area of our local park.

BTW MegCleary don't post this on Doghouse. You'll get shot down (It happened to me with one of my posts there. AIBU is less shark infested [hgrin] )

But you shouldn't let your hypothetical dog off the lead in the first place if you couldn't control him.

I love dogs. I've got two myself.

But I get REALLY cheesed off when I read stuff like *it's a dog , not a ravening beast.

as for screaming, teach your child better. Behaviour like that is unlikely to placate any dog.*

1. It might not be a ravening beast, but some people/children are nervous of dogs. Right or wrong, that's the way it is.

2. I agree it's a good idea to teach children the right way to behave around dogs; especially bouncy dogs they don't know. But if someone can't control/recall their dog that is completely THEIR fault; not the fault of the person their bloody dog is hassling.

Don't get me wrong; my dogs have transgressed in the past. They've run up to strangers, all friendly-like and lolling tongues and happy "Got Any Treats??" grins, and it isn't always welcome. And on those occasions, I've apologised PROFUSELY. It certainly wouldn't occur to me to try to explain that MY right to let my dogs offlead is more important than their right not to be approached and potentially alarmed by my dogs.

I don't know why we have to have these ridiculous debates. It is never going to be the case in the UK that children or dogs are going to be banned from all public spaces.

Of course public spaces (not all of them, but some) are for people to allow children to run around in and the same is true of dogs. You do not have to have a garden big enough to exercise a dog in if you want to own one.

They are simply part of life - in much the same way that cycling, football and other public activities are, even if we don't want to join in with some of those activities ourselves and they form a minor risk and inconvenience.

It is simply part of living in a civilised society that we allow other people freedoms, but they should enjoy those freedoms within the rules!

CalamnityKate, what a responsible attitude

Andrew.... Parks should have designated off leas exercise areas just as they have playgrounds for kids!

Kids don't rule the bloody world you know..... Why the 'especially for children' comment. Some people have lives that don't include dc you know!

If you can't let your dog loose without it jumping up at people, running directly in front of joggers etc, or causing any sort of harrassment to others or other dogs - then keep it on a lead or let it loose in your own private garden.

Your choice to keep a dog as a pet; no one elses.

I am quite happy to ignore other people's dogs, and I always taught my children never to approach or pat an unknown dog - therefore I don't expect you to inflict your dog on me! Simple!

You roared towards a dog and expected it to go away?

If there were signs stating that dogs were to be kept on leashes then, yes, he was BU. As the owner of a lead-aggressive dog (this means that when he is on his lead he can act aggressively towards other off lead dogs, you're children are not on his menu) I try and stick to the on-lead parts of the park when neccessary, it irks me when people ignore signs like this.

Only a few days ago I had to drag my snarling terrier away from some numpty's off leash Whippet who then yelled "It's okay, he's only trying to play". Yes, your dog might very well be trying to play, but mine is not, you fecking wanker . Irresponsible dog owners annoy us normal dog owners.

However, please try and operate common sense around dogs. Roaring at them is never going to get you the result you want and could very well get you bitten.

You can take children anywhere in the park - not just the playground.

Kids don't rule the bloody world you know..... Why the 'especially for children' comment. Some people have lives that don't include dc you know!

Entirely agree and get pissed off with the entitled attitude of many at work, on this forum and elsewhere. But people of any age come before any dog, and the "especially" is because children are more easily frightened or hurt than adults.

Andrewofgg - a secure fenced garden is not enough space for dogs to get the exercise that they need - nobody needs children either.....

Dog topics on mumsnet confuse me somewhat. The usual consensus is that every dog should be 'well trained' enough to respond immediately to every recall ever given. If a dog doesn't do this, they are badly trained and their owners are inconsiderate fuckwits.

However, my dog is an animal, and as such she sometimes, maybe 2-3 times in 100 responds to my recall with the doggy equivalent of raising her middle finger. She's not a bad dog, and I'm not an irresponsible owner, she just occasionally doesn't listen to me.

I don't comment on the children throwing temper tantrums in the supermarket, or their guardian's parenting skills, because they're children. They don't always follow the rule book. Dogs are exactly the same.

But people of any age come before any dog, and the "especially" is because children are more easily frightened or hurt than adults.

Completely agree.

I'm sorry if it's a controversial opinion but I think children should be taught to not scream at dogs. It only antagonises the situation. I appreciate it can take some work to teach a child this, which is why I'd be quietly annoyed at it and certainly wouldn't yell at a parent about it.

I agree that the dog should have been under control which is why I said if I was me I'd be really apologetic that my dog didn't recall as it should. I also agree that you shouldn't have a dog off lead in public till it has good recall, but I don't think most dogs have perfect 100% recall, especially when there's a screaming little human attracting their attention.

I have 2 dogs, they're my babies . The dumpy one walks off the lead. She doesn't run away (she doesn't run at all. Ever.), she just pootles along 2 steps behind me, oblivious to everything apart from following my legs. Occassionally she gets confused if someone passes too close and she pootles off after the wrong pair of legs. She's like a wind up toy, you have to pick her up, turn her round and put back down facing in the right direction, give her a nudge, then off she pootles again.

The cute one is never off the lead. He's adorable and everyone wants to come up and pet him, but he's a disobediant little sod and an aggressive so-and-so to boot. We're lucky here though, all the parks have huge, fenced in, dog play areas.

As a dog owner I cannot stand it when unknown dogs come bounding over.

If you read my post again, DSPB, you'll note that I certainly don't claim to have 100% Perfect Every Time, utterly faultless, robot dogs.

However if they DO inconvenience/startle ANYONE for whatever reason, I do not blame that person - I blame me.

cricketballs Children are us, we were once children, whereas I've never been a dog and I don't suppose you have. Ffs: if the garden is not big enough get a smaller dog or don't keep one. It's not difficult to grasp when you try.

Desperately Dogs are exactly the same. Even more ffs. Dogs are pets, property, I know you love them and you think they love you; but they are not the same as people. You are responsible for your dog frightening a child (let alone attacking it) in a way you are not if your child throws a tantrum in the supermarket and annoys some censorious passer-by.

A couple of weeks ago, walking through the park after taking DC to school, there were 2 dog walkers.
One had 1 off lead + 1 onlead dog
The other had an offlead.

There was a fight-not serious but noisy- between the 2 offlead dogs despite the owners attempt at recall.

I was so flippin relieved DD did not witness that. Would have set her back big time.

Desperately seeking - it may be annoying witnessing a child throwing a tantrum in the supermarket, but it is NOT the same as a dog being out of control.

I have had dogs run up and physically jump up at me, and dogs slobber on my clothing in the past while walking in the local park and woodland. (I made my feelings quite plain btw!)

I think you;d find people compained in exactly the same way if people allowed their children to do those things!