People who spend ages at the checkout because they are so slow rearranging their bags, putting change away, putting their...

[belledechocchipcookie]

purse in their bag, zipping their bag up, faffing around really annoy me. Can't they just move to the side so someone else can get served. AIBU to be pissed off with them? (Yes, I do have PMT)

Again, Belle, you have completely ignored my explanation that there are a lot of disorders and conditions which impact on mental health which would cause someone to act in a way which would convince you that they were going out to get you with their deliberate slowness, when in fact, if they weren't so careful, they would end up in a state of full blown panic.

Would you like these people to just stay home? Maybe they would like impatient people with reduced muscle tone to just stay home. See how that works?

Oh FGS she can check them before leaving the store! Can she not just do it away from the till?!

Which is exactly the reason, Bupcakes, that I DON'T pay until every last item has been packed. And I reserve the right to put my card and receipt in my purse and then back into my handbag at the checkout because as stated before - I am going to be carrying bags too, and do not want to run the risk of losing my card, my receipt OR my purse, or hurting myself trying to fumble with it all, due to my EDS. But it's NOT going to show to the imaptient buggers casual observers behind me. I do not class my transaction as having finished until I have done everything I need to do. That's NOT selfish - it's just a different, opposing POV to yours!

I'm not ignoring them ouryve. It's speculation. Maybe there was nothing wrong with her? I don't know. As I've said a few times, I'm also disabled. It doesn't stop me from being curtious to the people behind me in a queue.

So why call me selfish for having an opposing view to you Hunty?

Well, you're not the one being held up so you would see it as Not Selfish.

I was as slow as shite when pregnant with SPD (severe SPD, even standing hurt) yet I still managed to not expect everyone else to run at MY pace because of it. Yes, I did my necessary bits at tills i.e pay, pack, put receipts away, fasten bag. Anything else can be done all of 4ft away from the till. Is there a reason that coat adjusting/hat putting-on/scarf-wrapping/tissue audit needs to be done AT the till? There really isn't.

Because your view is the Wrong View, obviously, Belle.

Thank you Bupcakes

But Belle, both Hunty and i have pointed out that if, like us, you have conditions which deplete your coordination and strength, like EDS or BJHS, you can't just carry everything away without putting it all straight, first. If, like my sons, brother and uncle, you are somewhere on the autistic spectrum, evne if pretty high functioning, or if you have and anxiety disorder or OCD, not having buuilt a strong mental picture of where important things like your shopping, receipts, cash and cards are can render you paralysed with panic, no matter what the expression on your face is.

MS is not the only invisible disability there is. You have a good understanding of that invisible disability. I have an all too good understanding of various others. (and EDS/Hypermobility do tend to make it rather imperative that you pay attention to your bladder and other bodily functions. I guess hyper is the same, but I go to the loo as priority as soon as the urge is even vaguely suggested. I can drink tap water if I get really thirsty and carry bottle water around as a matter of course, so i don't have to queue to buy drinks).

My son suffers from hypermobility syndrome so I'm fully aware of that ouryve! Who do you think the drink was for?? To be honest, people do need to think of the people behind them in the queue. I also have an autistic nephew, I would teach them all the same thing; to think of others and to move when they have purchased their items.

BUT, belle, it doesn't make ME selfish to think differently to you. IMO it is common courtesy to be patient and let the person in front of you finish in their own time - whatever they are doing. I certainly don't believe it is 'common courtesy' to move before you have finished what you are doing.

Would it be common courtesy for me to expect you to get off a loo while you were wiping because I believe you have taken too long to go and I want to go NOW? What's the difference?

I try to teach my dc to give everyone as much time as they need to get things done. Patience costs nothing and can mean everything is a phrase my dc hear a lot until they have learnt that.

If there was someone in front of you in, say, the post office queue that had 3 parcels to get weighed, would you be cross with them if all you wanted was a stamp? Would you be cross if they then made sure they put all their receipts in their purse as the items were sent recorded delivery? Would you get cross if they then decided they wanted to check their bank balance? Would you get cross if they then decided to take money out of their account? Would you get cross if they then decided to pay some rent on their rent card? Would you get cross if they then decided they needed to top up their electricity key? Would you get cross if they then decided they needed to top up their gas key? Would you get cross if they then decided they needed a phone top-up? Would you get cross if they put away their receipts in between each transaction? At what point if you were in the queue behind that person, and you only needed one stamp, would you get cross with them?

That is a list of the transactions I had to carry out in my busy local post office yesterday. Not one person huffed, tutted, or got cross with me, despite me being in the queue at 8.50, before the post office opened. Would you have? All my transactions were perfectly legitamate transactions, and I stowed the receipts in different folders in my handbag as that is how I keep track of my accounts - screwed up in my pockets would get lost, I have a folder for receipts from EACH type of transaction, so that I can keep track of my budgeting.

You'd HATE to be behind me in a queue...

I wouldn't hate to be behind you at all Hunty. As I keep saying, there's a huge difference between people needing time and people taking it.

TBH, I think that Belle was nice about it. I'd have passed my drink over to the cashier and asked to pay for it whilst the person was seeing to their important business of auditing tissues/scard faffery...

Why wouldn't you just sort your receipts out at home instead of individually filing each one AT the till?

But Belle - you are calling ME selfish!

I don't think it is fair that I can be called selfish for believing that the person currently AT the counter can take their own sweet time to do what they feel they need to do, and the people in the queue have to be patient.

You don't think it is fair to be called selfish for rushing people that don't want to be rushed, for whatever reason.

So, either BOTH of us are selfish, or neither.

I was in a Tesco express other night in a single queue to two checkouts and this woman was telling the checkout girl about all her ailments,totally oblivious to the huffing and puffing in the long queue behind. She had finished her shopping and just carried on her conversation - at least another three or four sentences - to complete her tale after she had finished paying etc. What was the most annoying was the checkout girl completely going along with this and making comments that encouraged her to carry on. Then when the next man came up to her she cheerily said 'Sorry for the wait' .

Some people are just truly oblivious to other people around them.

agree with stephenfry. It's about manners and patience

So you can do what you feel you need to do after being served and seen to? Right, tomorrow after I have dropped my parcels into the post office and have paid up, I am going to stand at the counter and make a list of all the ingredients I need to make a fish pie. Then I might text my nan to see how her bunion op' went. Then I might flick through my book for a bit...

Because they would get lost if I was going food shopping and taking a dc to the doctors, for example, before getting home. And if I had a seizure later on in the day, I may forget whether I have paid those bills or not - so I MUST do the filing as soon as the receipts are in my hands, or it causes me financial problems, as I have ended up losing receipts and paying a bill twice, leaving me short of food money before, or assuming I have just lost the receipt and NOT paid the bill before. I have memory problems caused by the epilepsy - it's a needs must in my case!

My nana has a similar thing (onset of dementia in her case) She carries a ziplock plastic wallet in her bag to stuff all of her bill stubs into. Then she files them at home. She is lucky in the respect that we help her file and sort them though.

Goodness Hunty. This isn't an argument about who is selfish and who isn't. It is too much to ask for people to have some consideration for the people behind them? I paid and was out of the shop with ds in 2 seconds. I even had time to put the change in the charity tub and thank the cashier. This was considerate to the person behind me as I didn't faff around. I'll just agree to disagree with you. You have your opinion and I'll have mine.

But Belle - how the bloody hell would you tell - I don't have a flashing sign above my head that says 'May be slow because this person suffers from EDS and epilepsy', do I?? Outwardly, I look like your average, 30yo, harrased single mother of 4...

I may have forgotten about them when I get home, hence doing each one individually. Then if I am worried about the bills, I can check the receipts folder.

But you yourself said it was selfish, and a lack of consideration for the person behind you - I see it as selfish and a lack of consideration for the person in front of you to expect them to rush to your speed - the thing is, they are BOTH valid, but opposing and incompatible viewpoints!!

So? I always carry a drink for my boys, too. If we end up stuck and have to wait for something, then that's life.