People who spend ages at the checkout because they are so slow rearranging their bags, putting change away, putting their...

[belledechocchipcookie]

purse in their bag, zipping their bag up, faffing around really annoy me. Can't they just move to the side so someone else can get served. AIBU to be pissed off with them? (Yes, I do have PMT)

So, surely, either BOTH of us are inconsiderate towards someone (either the person behind me, or the person in front of you) or NEITHER of us are...

I have a child with hypermobility syndrome Hunty. I see his condition and how it affects him every second of every minute of every day.
It sounds like life is a real struggle for you. I do a lot of my accounts online so I know that I've paid my bills. I order my food online so I don't have to carry them home. Do you have an OT?

ok stepping in before reading whole thread
last week at the supermarket lady behind till chatting so much with her neighbour that I asked politely if we could carry on( she had stopped and had turned round) she then said, " oh sorry, you could be some one important"
heckles rose on me.... " i am" said I "I am a paying customer"
she then slammed all my food through the till squashing the bread in such a huff. If I hadn,t been in a rush I would have stopped at customer services and made a comment to the supervisor she made me cross!

TBH receipt filing comes under essential tasks, IMO. As do any of the transactions that Hunty listed just now.

It's the NON ESSENTIAL faffery that we object to (I think) Do what you (general you, not anyone particularly) need to do wrt your transaction but please adjust your coat/mittens/pick your nose elsewhere. Your place in the queue doesn't mean that you are higher priority than those behind. Their time is as important as yours. You might not mind the time it takes to fasten up your jacket, check your watch etc but it's bloody annoying for the waitees.

I hope I have got you to see that while YOU believe that the person 'faffing' in front of you is being inconsiderate to YOU, SHE may feel that being rushed is inconsiderate to HER.

Different strokes for different folks - if we all agreed, MN (AIBU especially) would be a very quiet place. [hgrin]

Madam, that might have been her first contact with another human being that day. Week, even.

That's shocking Greyskulls I would have complained.

But I don't mind the time it takes the person IN FRONT OF ME to fasten their jacket, put their gloves on etc - maybe they have Raynauds and NEED to do it before they get outside? Does it really matter for the 30 seconds it'll take them to do it? Even if I am in a rush? If the 30 seconds matter to me that much, I should have planned my day better! That's my POV. That it wouldn't be THEM with the problem - it's be ME.

just realised the thread had moved to more genuine cases... didn.t meant to be insensitive.

I didn't rush her, I didn't 'tut' or tell her to get a move on. I didn't pass the bottle over her shoulder to the cashier, nor did I sigh and tap my feet. I waited for her to move. Surely this isn't rushing someone?

Why do that in the queue if there's people behind though Hunty? Why not move out of the way? I can plan my day, I can't plan for people whom I may or may not meet who may or may not hold me up though.

You're not being insensitive Greyskulls

Granted, Belle. You've come on here to rant, I've tried to get you to see it from the person in front's POV - which may well be different to your own. Doesn't mean her POV is wrong though, just different.

But you need to build in time for other people too - because you aren't a Hermit, and other people exist and live their lives too!

I'm not saying they need to do it outside! I'm saying they should move up the counter away from the till to allow others to get on!

I hate this time-planning argument. Most of us plan our time just fine but then shit happens, doesn't it? Like my lunch break last week... stopped on way out by colleague to answer question - few minutes gone. Cash point broken, have to walk to other one five minutes away - another 5 minutes gone. Got no Feminax in Superdrug, need to go to Boots - another few minutes. By the end I had hardly any time to stuff my sandwich into my face, despite planning my time just fine. So yes, waiting for faffers to faff in queues DOES make a difference to some of us. For some people, shopping is their only job of the day so they can make a meal of it. For some of us, we are running errands in between work etc.

Not insensitive, Greyskulls - If you knew the cashier and customer were neighbours, I'm quite sure that you knew if the customer was just lonely. I wouldn't have carried on a private conversation when I was a cashier, not during my working hours I'd have got the sack.

I can see it from another persons POV, I hope you can also. I did build time in for other people, I went in there so I could get my child a drink and I was fast so I didn't hold the person behind me up any longer then necessary. I wasn't rude to her, nor did I do anything to make her uncomfortable.

I did my shopping on my day off when I worked, though. Even when I was working FT and had to take two toddlers with me on my day off. Twas shite but it stopped me from feeling annoyed at other people living THEIR life.

Whether it is their only job of the day or not - your time is NOT more important than theirs just becasue YOU are in a rush.

This is the thing, Hunty - my own hypermobility inconveniences me a little. It's annoying enough to make me have to comensate, but monor enough that i can compensate quite easily. I'm lucky enough that I have a caring husband i can give heavy tasks to. I have 2 boys with ASD, one with comorbid hypermobility and the other with rather severe ADHD. We do our best to deal with the unpredictable but annoying things like thirst, hunger, tiredness and rage, but the general clumsiness and bounciness that come into our existence from various directions mean that we do everything pretty slowly.

Our own little problems make us far more mindful of other people's potential problems, however. We never consider ourselves to have the collective trump card and will never ever see ourselves as having good reason to rush someone else in their daily lives. If there is one word I utter more than any other, it is "wait."

I've gone without lunch before because the people in the queues have taken too long. Is it fair? No. People need to think of the other's behind them as well, this isn't selfish or unreasonable.

And your time is not more important than theirs just because you are NOT in a rush.

No-one has given me an answer about why these very important tasks such as scarf nonsense/tissue audit absolutely must be done at the till and not 4ft away.

I can see that you were in a rush - but while you considered the person BEHIND you in the queue's feelings - you give no thought to the person in FRONT.

Yes, I do apologise if I know I am going to take a long time, and have even been known to turn round to people looking rushed who join a queue behind me that I may take some time, and this may not be the best queue to wait in if they are in a hurry - I am NOT going to rush myself because THEY are in a rush!

I agree, you handled it as well as you could - but it is unfair of you to decry this other woman as selfish or inconsiderate because she does not live her life the way YOU do.

And i type better when I've had sleep.

G'night!

Belle.You need to get into the packed lunch habit, if it's that bad for you. SRSLY.

Oyvre, your children are beautiful just snooped at your profile. The first picture of your little DS with his book made my ovaries clang. :)

Bupcakes - OCD and anxiety disorders and even Aspergers - mentioned them in 2 previous posts. You can not move until everything is right because you are in a full state of panic.