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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up with posters on here defending men that are lazy or behave badly?

278 replies

Swankyswishing · 24/10/2011 11:32

I'm fed up with it.

If someone posts that their husband or partner isn't pulling his weight with the children or in the house, replies say things like "Men need praise when they do things right" or "It doesn't come naturally to men, they need to be trained" or "Some men find babies daunting and prefer them when they're older"

Usually if a man isn't pulling his weight it's because he's lazy or a big child. I refuse to pander to my DH and he is expected to pull his weight in the house the same amount that I do. I refuse to make concessions or allow him to behave like an extra child just because he's a man!

OP posts:
Manathome · 27/10/2011 23:02

Ah! get it [hgrin]

My wife does real work, they pretend is what I meant.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 23:05

So, your boys copy you in pretending to do housework?

tracyjacks · 27/10/2011 23:09

can i just add i didnt defend my dh. who had his very own contentious thread yesterday and is a lazy child

Soups · 27/10/2011 23:10

I'm sure that's the case. Wife pretends to go to the office + goes out spying. Manathome pretends to do the cleaning, then in comes the cleaning company + he's off out chatting up mothers in coffee shops. If it works, why not?

Sorry week off work for half term, I'm drinking mid-week [hgrin]

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 23:13

Soups, I suspect that's exactly how it happens... [hgrin]

Manathome · 27/10/2011 23:20

From what I have witnessed tonight who the hell would chat up a mum, or maybe it is just women and me don't get on, especially ones that answer back!

Do all new joiners get grilled like this, or is it kept for men only?

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 23:23

Nope, it's kept for the ones who post vitirol about single mums, working mums, etc...

Soups · 27/10/2011 23:32

Blimey, I was just having a giggle. Off to find another thread to drink on ... Wine

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 23:34

Noooo, soups.... Stay. Please? I'm enjoying this...

He finds the SAHP stuff hardwork, btw... Do you think he knows how to turn the hoover on?

Manathome · 27/10/2011 23:34

Oh well, better saying what you think than being a two faced back stabber!

So where is the sympathy for a single dad with 2 children at home because that is how I feel some weeks! Oh! I forgot, you've got the hump, don't worry I will deal with it!

Anyway, this forum sucks the time out of your day, better get the ironing done!

Manathome · 27/10/2011 23:36

FFS it's nearly bleeding MIDNIGHT!!!!

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 23:39

You feel like a single parent

But you're not...

Anyway. The iron. You put the water in the top, in that little hole, plug the iron in, turn the dial. Iron the delicates on the low setting first, then work your way through to the thicker stuff.

HTH.

Soups · 27/10/2011 23:42

Feeing like a single Dad, hoovering, there has to be a line in there about sucking it up.

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 23:45

If 'manathome' is really a Man and not a female reg on a wind up, I'll eat my own tits Lol

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 23:47

worra, I suspect you may be right... Grin

P.S, please don't eat your own tits. DS bit down on mine once... VERY painful...

Soups · 27/10/2011 23:51

He's going to deal with a hump, that could be pudding, men are also being grilled. It's a 3 course meal, yey us :)

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 23:55

Not enough here for a light snack Frothy Grin

Manathome · 28/10/2011 00:06

Does anyone here bother ironing underpants or sheets? Just wondering, I am looking at underpants now and trying decide if I can get away with it, sheets are a pain as I use a stamping ironing thing and the sheets get creased as they build up at the bac after a few stamps if that makes sense [hconfused]

gaelicsheep · 28/10/2011 00:10

Get fitted sheets. Smile

Soups · 28/10/2011 00:10

You simply must iron underpants. I could not abide the thought of my family going off for the day in crinkly pants :(

EightiesChickOrTreat · 28/10/2011 00:15

Manathome We don't iron either pants or sheets in this house and I don't think anyone suffers greatly because of it. In fact I'd say ironing in general is vastly overrated. Tops are the main thing you have to bother with. Agree about fitted sheets.

OP - YANBU. I'm fed up with it too.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 28/10/2011 09:16

Iron boxers... Well, I was always taught to, anyway. Anything smaller, nope.

And fitted sheets don't need ironing.

Manathome · 28/10/2011 09:47

Been up since 6am, thought I would get some more done before the kids woke up. So left underpants, kids ones are only small and I could get about 8 on the ironing thing and then just stamp them, job done. The only thing about this stamping thing is if you don't lay it out properly and just stamp down, it will be flattened in whatever position you laid it, sometimes making it worse than it was when you started :-)

I have found out my sheets are fitted, if that is he ones with the elasticated corners, the quilt covers are a pain as they are enormous to man handle (how would a woman man handle? :-) ) but I have managed, I do wonder if it is necessary though. My 2yr olds cloths are great they fit on the base of the stamping thing so I can get a system going. I bought 4 plastic washing baskets (one each) and when the clothes are dry I put them in the relevant basket, I can then do them in batches. It is all the putting away that drives me nuts, I think I will seriously have to cut down on clothes in the household, with winter coming I can now ditch all the summer stuff as they will be grown out of by next summer!

I lost an hour yesterday as I found when cleaning it out that the kids glass fish tank the previous day that it had a crack in the bottom, anyway a quick look on ebay sourced a lovely one at a great price (happy to share with anyone interested), that arrived yesterday and I had to set it all up. I am starting to think that if I purged the house of all this kind of paraphernalia I could have a much less stressful life! I am terrible at buying the latest gadget and not purging old stuff, I think it is because the old stuff is still very good and in use by the normal person and I feel it is a waste to throw it away as some is very expensive, but I just don't need it cluttering the house.

I did start getting rid of stuff, the local charity shop workers, when they see me arrive come out to help get the stuff out of the car as they know it is all good stuff :-) I just hope it helps some people an doesn't line the pockets of greedy people who are not in need. Anyway enough for now, must get on with my jobs, cleaning all the exterior windows today, but have kids at home for half term so maybe go to the local little kids farm for a treat!

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 28/10/2011 10:28

Yep, fitted sheets have the elasticated corners. Sounds like you've been very productive

PS, the kids farm sounds like a great idea. Don't forget wellies and a spare change of clothes, though. Autumn = horrible weather

Manathome · 28/10/2011 10:38

Thanks, got the wellies, and waterproof jackets, just making egg sandwiches :-) I went to Lidle and bought cases of small 100% juice cartons in different flavours, the kids love them, I keep a stash in the car, always handy and great value for money.

Just pinching myself, IS THIS REAL, me on an internet site talking to women about woman kid stuff and I'm not gay!

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