to be fed up with posters on here defending men that are lazy or behave badly?

[Swankyswishing]

I'm fed up with it.

If someone posts that their husband or partner isn't pulling his weight with the children or in the house, replies say things like "Men need praise when they do things right" or "It doesn't come naturally to men, they need to be trained" or "Some men find babies daunting and prefer them when they're older"

Usually if a man isn't pulling his weight it's because he's lazy or a big child. I refuse to pander to my DH and he is expected to pull his weight in the house the same amount that I do. I refuse to make concessions or allow him to behave like an extra child just because he's a man!

All these mums chatting you up and asking you to lunch.... And then you woke up er?

Oh puh-lease...

Women have ALWAYS worked.

We have ALWAYS had lawlessness.

Stop trying to blame working mothers for society's problems.

OK the chatting up was a bit light hearted, but I have noticed a frosty reception towards me when husbands turn up and I am chatting away to their wives!

It is a well known fact that the working mums have lost control of their children, well they aren't at home to look after them are they! I am NOT having a go at the mums because most of them HAVE to work to make ends meet, I am just stating the obvious which also is mirrored in single mothers with no father at home. Stick your head in the sand for all you want, but it is fact or look at the profile of the recent looters!

Ohhhh, the profile that was in The Sun, right?

My best friend was a single mother who always worked. Her DC are full grown adults, both of whom are now studying towards degrees, polite, respectful, etc.

Now, have you joined here just to shit stir?

The rest of us may not agree on everything, but I'm sure we'd agree it's bad form to make one group of parents feel bad about themselves.

Being a single parent myself, I feel villified if I stay at home (benefit scrounger) and I feel villified if I go to university (draining the economy because I didn't get it right first time) and I feel villified if I work (y'know, mentally abandoning the kids)

What do you propose single parents do?...

Boy oh boy, the people who come here trying to be provocative, they really fail at life don't they?

They are from Pistonheads chibi and have come here on the back of a thread on there about Mumsnet.

Oh ok

Pistonheads really fail at life don't they?

i would weep with mirth at the idea of anyone purposefully referring to themselves as a pistonhead, but i can't manage to give enough if a fuck tbh

I don't have the answer for single parents, but prevention is better than cure, the root problem needs to be found and dealt with. Of course if the way we live changes and it is commonplace to bring up a child with one parent then we have to accept the consequences, I am NOT stating ALL single parent families are like that, and I am NOT blaming the people who find themselves in that situation, I am blaming the SYSTEM for allowing it to happen. I have stated that I fully understand the pressures on mothers as well as fathers to work to get money to live, it just seems that the safety net is sometimes in the wrong place, look at the scams with regards to the motorbility or whatever it is called, it is scandalous! As we have a problem it needs to be faced head on, there needs to be help and resources put into the system to help single mothers and allow the sufficient time with their children.

See you say that manathome, but actually it reads as someone mewling in a sad little kitten voice that they fail at life.

you should google, there's probs a helpline for that

It is half-term, people.

Working mums do not produce unruly children; working mums produce kids with a work ethic (hopefully) and also my child minder and preschool does the dicipline for me when I am not around. (bangs head against brick walls in despair!)
I expect most sahm produce children with a work ethic too. I don't think it makes any difference tbh.

I have loads of time with my dd and I am a working single mum. If I stayed at home with her all day we'd both go potty PLUS it is important for kids to socialise with others other than mummy. I am a firm believer in the notion that it takes a villiage to raise a child.

Exactly, that is why I used a nanny, what the hell would I as a man do with a kid all day? The pre school at age 3 (she starts in Jan) will be a good balance I think, I can do my chores in the morning and spend time with her in the afternoon. Work ethic IS very important, I see both my girls copying their mum in pretending to go to work, so I have witnessed it first hand. My two boys grew up with me at work and working long long hours to keep us afloat, I wonder what the view of a boy seeing his dad at home all day would be, an interesting one.....

Faillllllll

do you need a widdle hug manathome?

I hate to say it, but those creatures that shall not be named are of a MUCH lower quality these days... They're a bit... what's the word... transparent...

I don't need a hug, I need to know how to organise all this blinking housework and looking after children, where do the days go? It was less tiring AT WORK!!!!

But those wimminz should stop working cos they're damaging the kids and making teh menz seem, y'know, weak... Cos they're doing a wimminz job, which is too hard for them... Or something like that...

I'm confused. Anyone else?

If my children wrote like that I would know I had failed them, that is exactly what is happening though innit !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nobody should panda their husband. That's just waaay too kinky even for me. Sure I've tried it: The furry suit, the bamboo, the never having sex... It's not a regular thing you know. A couple of times a week maybe, but I could give it up any time I want.

Oooh, no, Tiggy... I've heard the bamboo is a right turn on.

And manathome, innit homeboi. You gets what I is sayin, yah?

Well personally I think it's very refreshing that Mumsnet isn't quite so much of a witchhunt against men as it used to be. Occasionally, just occasionally, someone even acknowledges that an absent father isn't necessarily in that position because he is an evil cheating b*stard.

I would say it's more the other way round!

But if people do defend men, it's probably because most posters are women, from their perspective, the problem is about a man, so people try to offer an alternative perspective. That's what I do, anyway, regardless of who the problem is about. Good advice considers different angles - you can't just take the poster's account as gospel.

Is there a mannet, I may get some sense there Bruv, innit!!!

Aye bruv, ya get what I'm sayin, yeah?

And there's dadsnet.

But yeah. Tends to be your misogyny we don't like. Not your Y chromosone.

You get what I'm sayin', geezer?

Manathome

"I see both my girls copying their mum in pretending to go to work".

I've only just started reading this thread and have no idea what's gong on, I read that wrong and giggled to myself. I'm imagining your wife kissing you all goodbye in the morning then going off to her secret double life. The your girls pretending to do the same "bye I'm off to the office", then outcome the toy guns and pretending to be spies. [hgrin]