to bottlefeed newborn because I have a toddler?

[NoobyNoob]

Before I post this, I don't want this to turn into yet another BF/FF debate. This isn't my intention whatsoever, I want to know if IABU or not.

I've made the decision to FF DD when she arrives in Jan. I EBF DS and he will be just short of two when she arrives.

I've chosen to FF because of ease and convienience but I can't help but feel that IABU. It's been on my mind since DH and I discussed it a few months ago, and although he backs me in whatever decision I make, I feel guilty because I'm doing it for my own ease.

When I breastfed DS, I remember the feeds lasting for half hour/40 minutes some days and I can't do that when she arrives because it's not fair on my son. I do want to breastfeed again as my experience of it was a very positive one, but I can't for the life of me work out how I fit it around DS - especially if we're out and about.

Even though I'll have family around initially to help, they live abroad so I'm pretty much on my own in the day when they go back.

So, AIBU and does anyone have any advice on how it might work if I was to BF with a toddler around?

I haven't read the thread - disclaimer.

But, I have a two year old and a 5 week old. Bfing the first time was absolute torture, though managed for 6 months, out of stubbornness. Was dreading the whole thing this time round, but my own choice was to try it for a while but be realistic, particularly with lively toddler.

I swear it's SO much easier this time around. feeds last a while, sure, but so far it's feed time for baby and story time for toddler. It can be great quality time ofr the toddler too, songs, story, cbeebies, dance time etc.

I'm by no means mad about bfing, it definitely doesn't suit everyone but my advice to you is to try it, and see how you get on. It really might be the easiest option for you, try it and see, and if not, no harm done.

You can of course do whatever you want.

I will have a newborn and a toddler soon and I have no idea how it's going to work! DD used to spend a lot of time at the boob.

But at the same time, I also mixedfed DD from a very young age, and apart from the fact that I wasn't doing the formula feeds (DH was so I could sleep) I'm not sure that it was any less stressful or convenient. Certainly she cried for longer because she had to wait for her milk, which isn't exactly unstressful.

I haven't decided yet whether new baby will be exclusively BF or mixed fed or even formula fed, I'm going to wait until they arrive and decide then.

Mumsamilitant, not sure I can see the relevance of your post. And your last sentence makes no sense. End of what?

OP I think the main thing is to keep an open mind, and don't commit yourself to one method from the start, because you just don't know what your baby will be like and how your toddler will handle it all. I would keep your options open, which means breastfeeding first then changing if you choose to.

I always found breastfeeding really easy and convenient with all 3 dc - it is on tap so no forethought or planning required. If you never try then you will never know. But, that said, it is your choice entirely. If it is what you want then don't let anyone make you feel guilty. Your tits, your business.

YABU.

My DD's were born 13 months apart and I breastfed both of them. No it isn't easy, but no-one said having a baby and a toddler was supposed to be easy!

I don't understand why people seem to think ff is easier than bf. I guess it's all propaganda that plays right into the hands of the formula manufacturers.

I can tell you Rebel that often FF is easier. It would have been easier for me to ff dc1, but otoh it wouldn't have been for dc2. Too many variables to generalise, particularly with subsequent dc when you have to balance their needs with babys' and your own.
Op won't know til she tries it.

Actually I am surprised to see so many people saying FF would take just as long as BF -- that certainly wasn't my experience.

I didn't find the bottles and making up feeds such a faff, it took maybe 10 minutes a day? And each feed took maybe 10-15 minutes. I worked out once that I spent less time feeding in an entire day than one of my friends spent in her evening BF session alone (cluster feeding).

So I can see why you would be tempted, it's certainly easier to keep a toddler occupied for 10-15 minutes than an hour or two.

But, you never know, like people have said, maybe DC 2 will be a power feeder! So why not try it out and see how it goes, you can always mix feed or switch later.

I actually think ff would be harder than bf. I am currently bf'ing and have a toddler. Much less faff than making up bottles and sterilising. I've alsO got very little help from family (make that about two days in five months) and Dh is out at work all day. As others say, cbeebies is your friend, you can cuddle up and read stories, and actually with use of cushions I have both hands free for toddler which you can't with a bottle.

You obviously should do what's right for you and your family, but I do think you'd be surprised that it's not as hard as you might imagine and can always change if it doesn't work.

MidsomerM

What I meant was I didn't breastfeed because I didn't want to and that was the end of that.

My relevance in the post was to let the OP know, or anyone else that at the end of the day it is a woman choice whether to breastfeed or not and we shouldn't be "pressured" into doing it.

If the OP finds it easier not to then she shouldn't be made to feel guilty.

DS1 was 2.5 when DS2 was born. No family help as I live abroad, but I've found it easy b/feeding, no problems at all, easier than I imagine FF would be with all that sterilising and warming bottles. Why not give it a try and see how it goes? Good luck!

YANBU if that is how you feel.

As you are undecided, have you though about giving it a go and seeing how you manage before ruling it out. Just think of all the bottles you will washing, sterilizing, making up etc or what about giving mixing feeding ago (although i don't think its offically advised at first anyway) it does work for some people.

Good luck.

x-post

Rebel, for many people, FF is indeed easier, simply because it takes less time and it's easier for others to help.

That doesn't make it better, but to say it's propaganda is not really true.

I am BF at the mo with a 2.8 y/o

Its a fuffing nightmare as he isnt easily entertained with the telly or books etc. I dread every single feed as they either last 40+ mins, or its a nibbly 10 mins on/10 mins off for 2 hours a bastard time.

Must admit OP I am considering changing to FF soon, just hanging on a bit longer to see if it gets better.

Agree with what sinicalsal said. FF much, much easier for me both time.

DD2 had a tongue tie but not DD1. Breastfeeding DD1 took hours and hours and hours. I had wonderful breastfeeding support, beautiful latch etc etc. I don't know why but it took forever, my milk just seemed to come out very slowly! Never had engorged or leaky breasts, just painfully slow ones and not one breastfeeding counsellor (I saw a lot!) could help. This went on until 6 months when I finally stopped breastfeeding, never passed once the newborn bit was over (even though everyon on here promised me it would!)

Formula feeding was an absolute doddle by comparison. Took me, what, 10 second to wash a bottle, 3 mins in the microwave to sterilise it, kettle boling while that happened. Cool it for 5 mins or so. Compare that to hour upon hour of breastfeeding, FF much easier!

I wish posters would stop telling OP to get this moved She has asked a valid question.

Ben thank you for that, it seems such a common opinion that the bottles are a complete faff but I really didn't find it to be so myself.

Have just seen your post about DS feeling neglected and am nodding along - we're having some boundary issues and terrible twos with DS1 and I know that me being glued to DS2 constantly feeding him isnt helping so I know where you are coming from

I personally found BF DS2 easy - sitting on my arse with a quietly being fed baby and talking with DS1 who was either playing with his toys or watching tv! I personally would have found bottle feeding a faff!

I think to claim FF is easier is quite a claim and I don't personally agree.

I am not disagreeing that others find FF'ing easier. I just think stating 'FF is easier' is an overclaim and not true for everyone.

I also found FF much easier Ben and Screaming

18 months between my two and I learned to boob DC2 while running around after DC1. I had sworn that I would FF DC2 for all manner of reasons but as it turned out it was just easier to bfeed than make up a bottle and quite frankly the method of milk supply ended up being the least of my worries. DC2 is velcro baby, boob or no boob. And has an aversion to napping. I could go on [hgrin]. Wait until you get there I would. See what kind of baby you have first.

You BF ok before. Why not wait and see how it goes rather than making absolute decisions now?

I found my first child was happy to have stories read to him by me as I fed. or just sit with me and watch a video.

Your baby, your life, your choice - go for whatever feels right.
Not read any other posts.

Also DS never fed for more than 10 mins and usually only 5, you might find it different this time.