to think this poster is a heap of sexist woman-blaming SHIT?

[QueenOfFlamingEverything]

Here - a nice bit of misogynism from the police in Wales.

How about a big poster suggesting helpfully "Rape. Don't be a rapist. Use your dick sensibly. Rapists feature in 100% of rapes??"

i agree stewieG.

I agree SGM

To everyone who has suffered such awful experiences, you have my sympathy and anger on your behalf (FWIW).

-WTF

The Welsh Assembly have been good at previous campaigns for DV etc - eg

This poster is a way of getting the number of rapes reported to decrease for sure.

florriesdragon and any others who have shared stories here - I am very sorry that these things happened to you - I believe you - and your sharing of stories encourages me to (and others like me I know) to keep up with our feminist campaigns and activism etc.

lazy - thanks for that. I shall make up my own mind though, if that's OK with you

oops, sorry lassylass

I'm intrigued that "thinking" often gets interpreted as "overthinking".

I can see several sides to thins argument. There's the pragmatic "protect yourself" message. But there's also the fact that if you don'r see these campaigns within a societal context then you are missing the real message you want to get out there.

Florries - I am so ANGRY on your behalf, I am in tears after reading your post. I'm so sorry for what you went through. Are you ok after posting on here?

To bring it down to the most simple, basic level, I am deeply perplexed/absolutely despondent that people actually behave like this, actually do such dreadful things to another human being.

Mme Lindor - yes, I understand exactly what you are saying and I agree. What I meant is let's not jump on people who are merely agreeing women should try to stay safe - and yet I realise that, as Florries' desperately sad post shows, women are often assaulted in 'safe' environments, by 'friends'.

"I'm intrigued that "thinking" often gets interpreted as "overthinking"."

Thats fine. Dont think too long on it though.

fine. You say potato, I say thinking. Let's call the whole thing off

YANBU. But it annoys me that a lot of crime prevention education seems to blame the victim.

How is this poster blaming the woman/victim?

Read the fucking thread Whatmeworry

Its a bit off

BUT alot of people I know (myself included) have found ourselves in date rape esque situations. that of course we did not report.

Now the men were to blame for sure. But If I had a daughter I would also teach her not to drink herself insensible, as I think there is possibility that when you are hammered blind you are (a) more likely to stagger around alone (b) get into a mini cab and (c) go back to some dogy blokes house

so I do think the message is sensible actually. Its not about saying "its your fault" bit it is about saying "there are some arseholes out there that will take horrible advantage of drink young girls, protect yourself"

Oh my God.

I also think a poster saying DONT RAPE PEOPLE will have little effect! thats why they dont have them

how is this any different to a poster saying "dont leave your windows open, byurglers will come"

posies directed at me??

But a poster saying

"Non consensual sex is rape
Non consensual sex can happen with a partner, with a friend, with a work colleague, with a family member

It doesn't have to be in the dark, by a stranger"

might go a way to helping people understand how most rape occurs, and recognising what is rape, rather than if you get pissed it is more likely to happen. Which isn't true.

I think it was mentioned up thread, if every woman in the country went teetotal would rapes stop? No. Do rapes occur in "dry" countries? Yes

Read the fucking thread Whatmeworry

Thank you for that, Forkful. Now fuck off, there's a dear.

I think any information is useful, TBH.

I agree with Thatsnot re pointing out it can happen anywhere, but statistically it is true that most rape happens when alcohol is involved, so why is pointing it out a bad idea?

What do the rest of you advise your daughters?

""Non consensual sex is rape
Non consensual sex can happen with a partner, with a friend, with a work colleague, with a family member

It doesn't have to be in the dark, by a stranger"

Not very punchy though, is it?

The police are in the business of trying to reduce rape, not pandering to the faux-outraged of feminists.

I didn't go to any dodgy bloke's house, I went to a black tie do with my much loved, first serious boyfriend. I didn't drink until I was unconcious, I had a couple of drinks before finding myself asleep under a tree with said much loved, very respectable boyfriend 'doing his thing'. Sorry for having had a drink in a safe environment with a trusted boyfriend, silly me.

So, what would you advise to avoid my situation?

I'm not faux outraged either, just a bit saddened that the shame and confusion I felt at the time (I never even raised it with him, when he was done he went back to the party) is being perpetuated here, years on, by other women.