To allow these kids to be taken into care?

[RebelFromTheWaistDown]

Long story. I hope you can make some sense of this.

I have 2DDs age 18 and19 I have brought up alone since they were toddlers.
Their father has come in and out of their lives as he pleased and is now married with 2 DS's age 4 and 7.

DD1(19yo) has recently started a new job after a few months of unemployment. She got a call yesterday morning from her father's wife (SM) who was in tears as she was about to get on a plane to visit relatives abroad for 2 weeks, she had left her children at school to be collected by their father and he had left home and was unable to be contacted. He had told his wife that he would not be there for the kids so she had better come home. DD tried to contact him but he is also ignoring her.

DD asked her boss if she could leave work earlier to collect the children from the after school club and get the key from a neighbour to take the kids home. This is costing DD in wages as well as bus fare for a 15 mile journey to their house.

SM asked DD to take care of her DCs for the 2 weeks while she was away. DD said she would leave work early to collect them Tuesday (yesterday) and Wednesday but she would not be able to get them this Thursday as she is going to see Erasure in concert with me. Also it is half term next week and DD is worried about jeopardising her new job. SM told her that if her father had not returned home by this Thursday that she would get an emergency flight home.

DD1 has now roped in DD2(18) who is due to return home from uni this Thursday to stay with the DCs on Thursday night while we go to the concert. She has also arranged for the DCs to stay at my sister's house (the DCs have never met her) on Friday night as DD2 has a job over here too. Now the SM is saying she can't get a flight home until Sunday or Monday.

My DDs are very upset and stressed in this situation that they cannot cope with. I have pleaded with DD to contact Social Services to tell them the DCs have been abandoned. She has now done this but has told them she is looking after the DCs because she doesn't want them taken into care. I have asked her why she is so worried about that - she is obviously unable to cope with them herself. She says it is because the DCs were not born in this country. I don't understand what that has got to do with it!

I have not seen DD face to face yet. All my contact with DD has been by phone as I work long hours. I will see her tomorrow. I think she would be best to let SS take over. AIBU?

Your daughters are great Rebel! The ex and his wife are jerks.

I wonder what would have happened had the step mother not been able to get a hold of your dd's at all, before she boarded the plane?

The mother continued to get onto a plane knowing that there was even the slightest chance that their father had gone AWOL. Would any caring mother even take such risks? This is not about something as trivial as changing a nappy. The mother then asked SD to look after HER children for 2 weeks. Why, if she thought the father would be around? She obviously did not think about how her children would be feeling during all of this, and what effect it could have on them.
SDs may both be young adults, but this does not mean the responsibility for the parents actions should be left with them.
Both parents are equally responsible for abandoning their children. For this reason SS should be informed. True loving, caring and responsible parents will ALWAYS put their children FIRST.
Whatever had gone on between the parents is of no concern, the paramount concern is of the welfare of these children.