10 Tips to Prevent Rape

[coldwed]

Should this leaflet be handed out to the public?

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2141096

All women, and all people, know that some places are, or feel, safer than others. I feel less safe walking home alone late at night when the pavements are icy than I do in the middle of a shopping centre. This much is innate. And it's not rape I fear the most, but more generally assault or accidents.

But we don't need posters telling us not to do this. Most people don't, most of the time, if they can help it. All the posters do is to further the myth that rape is preventable, and that preventing it is a woman's responsibility.

This idea that rapists are somehow fixed, pre-destined beings who will rape regardless of context is as much a nonsense as the idea that criminals are fixed beings who could be identified in advance by the lumps on the heads.

South Africa has jaw-droppingly high rates of rape, with 25% of men admitting to having raped someone. This isn't because South African men are somehow different from the rest of the world, it's because rape is profoundly socially acceptable in that society (tho not to everyone, obviously).

Rapists are simply men who decide to rape.

And there are a lot of factors going into that decision, and permission-giving through myths that "the woman is responsible/deserved it/was asking for it" is a huge factor.

Tumbleweed

Blimey!

Youve gone? Fantastic.

Why, have you fucked off all militantly, puffin?

Good post tianc.

You know in some countries they used to cut off the hands of a thief in ancient times ? To stop them stealing .

I think the only way to stop a rapist would be to remove his genitals and hands.

Disable the bastards...then they couldn`t rape , and everyone would know they were rapists and would avoid them.

Or at least tattoo rapist on their foreheads so they couldnt pretend they were "normal" men. It would make it harder for them to blend in < iykwim ?>.

Might stop them getting involved with women who are unaware of their nasty pasts too.
How many women get involved with such men , and have kids with them.
Only to find out about it years later when hes caught again after raping someone else ? Or if he rapes them ?

Unfortunately thats a bit barbaric and against the rapists "human rights" ..

A poster /leaflet is not really going to help stop them .Locking them up isnt going to stop them , they just do it again after they get out.

Rape is never the victims fault. Ever.

Your last line is excellent, drove.

Many rapists do not view raping their partner a crime. They are not rapists, they are having sex with their partner and therefore it is acceptable. Consent, for them, is implied.

I think Andrew that many male prisoners would also be of this opinion. That a rapist who attacked a woman down an alley way on a dark night would be derided, but a man who had sex with his unwilling partner - well that is different surely?

This poster is designed to alter the attitude of society that a woman is responsible for not getting raped. Of course, woman need to be aware of danger, as all people do, but it is that underlying allowance that is given to the rapist that is being disussed in the leaflet.

Well he did rape her

but

she was on a date with him
she was drunk
she shouldn't have been in that area at night

it is these excuses that are accepted by the public that are being attacked

I don't think there should ever be rape avoidance advice for women, because although I get what squeaky is trying to say and I do think it is well intentioned, I think it is very often interpreted as "do these things and you will be safe" as well as "X didn't do these things and was raped, they could have avoided it and have some responsibility"

I don't think that is the intention of rape-avoidance advice AT ALL, but as has been spoked about before some people seem to have a strong psychological reaction to any advice like that in a self-protective way. AKA I will be safe and won't be raped because I am doing X,Y,Z. If anyone has been raped it's because they didn't do this and that makes them feel like they (or their children) are safer.

Anyway, what I think we should have is general advice for ALL people in vulnerable situations. So yes I will tell both my daughter AND my son when they get to clubbing age, make sure you stay in groups of at least 3, make sure someone has a phone with credit, look after anyone who drinks too much and make sure they get home safely etc. And hopefully they won't get mugged as much as anything else.

But way before they get to that age they will be getting very strict lessons on what consent is so that if they are ever in a situation where a friend comes to them saying "I asked my boyfriend to stop having sex halfway through because I was in pain and he wouldn't" they will never say "It's your fault, you shouldn't have started if you weren't going to let him finish/he couldn't help it/you were drunk you didn't know what you wanted it doesn't matter." and if god forbid they ever have something so awful happen to them they will have the confidence to come to me and hopefully the police too.

Thanks for posting this, coldwed, it's great to see something that takes a stand against the sort of wrongheaded thinking that has become normalised.

My objection to this is the hypocrisy. I do find the poster amusing, but then I know so many of you will howl down T-shirt emblems, posters etc that use exactly the same amusement mechanism in ways you find unacceptable.

If this is OK, so are they, or neither are IYSWIM.

If rape was an illness you would have to assume it is contagious to explain examples like South Africa.

A little can be done by parents by teaching our sons to respect women ....ALL WOMEN, not just the nicely dresses demure ladies .

It might be the thing to get it ingrained in men`s heads to make sure the woman is consenting to sex before it starts . Ask them more than once, and do not touch her unless she says yes .

I have told my 11 year old son , as part of " the talk" , that its job as a man to ensure that his future partner is willing , and that if she is drunk , she is not legally allowed to give consent ...so he is never ever to attempt to sleep with drunk women. Why this isnt taught in schools, along with the mechanics of sex i dont know.

It wont stop the "jump out from an alley /stranger rapist" , but it might stop the date-rapist or partner-rapist , Especially if the message is also taught by the dads to their sons.

After all every rapist is somebodys son.

lassylass Wed 19-Oct-11 11:26:31
That would be a quote taken after the OP admitted she was being unreasonable and that he hadnt visited prostitutes after all?

I think you'll find the OP didnt say that before your incredibly insensitive and stupid comment, she didnt update about the situation until the next morning.

^^ wot SGM said. Especially last para.

Stewie, I mean what you said: that most rapists rape because they can get away with it. In some cultures it is more acceptable, and there you will find a higher incidence of rape.

Maybe a small percentage are actual psychopaths who can't help themselves, but it's likely to be a small number.

whatme - what 'amusement mechanism' is that? I think you're making a false analogy.

Not getting too drunk and not walking home in the dark won't protect you from getting raped. The only thing that protects you from being raped is not being in the presence of a rapist

You are less likely to be in the presence of an opportunist attacker though.Rapists are not "sick in the head." The majority are perfectly sane and rape because they want to. Not because they have a mental illness. It is incredibly damaging to rape victims to spread about this myth. It also absolves rapists from culpability for rape.

Perhaps my phrase of "sick in the head" was not understood in the context I meant it. I certainly would think that anyone who rapes is not a normal balanced person. That does not mean they should be any less culpable or receive any less punishment. It simply means that nobody sane would want to, or would commit rape. It is not the act of a respectful, decent person, no matter how they may appear to others. If a person rapes, they are not sane as far as I am concerned. It doesnt mean I would afford them any leniency.

But not being 'respectful, decent' does not equal 'insane'.