10 Tips to Prevent Rape

[coldwed]

Should this leaflet be handed out to the public?

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2141096

cross-posts with Elaine. I had visions of this rapist as some kind of Polyphemus like monster who never ventures far from his cave. Whereas in actual fact a rapist is likely to be a perfectly ordinary person, with a perfectly ordinary appearance, maybe a perfectly ordinary job, who just happens to have a screwed attitude towards women.

ffs, of course the onus should be on men NOT to do it, but that is never going to happen, is it. Rapists are sick in the head, and will not stop just because someone says they should. They only stop once they are caught and even then with the pathetic sentencing in this country, many are let out and go on to do it again.

frothy, I did make it quite clear in my post that I was referring to just one scenario, and that it was of stranger rapes in public places.

Oh lassylass, why don't you try actually arguing and debating rather than just shouting "militant" every two minutes? It's rather trying.

For goodness sake I can't see why Squeaky's posts are being picked on here...she makes perfect sense!

In an ideal world, no-one would rape anyone but it's not an ideal world...therefore we owe it to our children (both male and female) to be taught to look after themselves and not put themselves in a dangerous situation.

Motorists shouldn't speed up at zebra crossings but some of them do...therefore you teach your children not to just 'walk out' in the blind hope someone won't break the law.

It's called helping to protect them!

x posted with squeaky - again.

No need for the FFS. Right, so what you're saying is that this is the way it is and we shouldn't try to change people's attitudes to rape. THat we shouldn't try to get people to stop victim blaming? Nope, sorry, can't agree.

So if a man chooses to walk alone at night and he is violently attacked he was not to blame but put himself at risk?

You teach children to look both ways for traffic, and you teach them not to walk out without looking. You teach them that a car might be coming quickly round a corner that you can't see. You don't teach them that, although it's a shame that some drivers drive badly, this can happen, and so they should never step into a road even if it appears ok.

Actually, as much as I'd like to agree that rapists are sick in the head, a lot of them aren't...

And why should one rape be treated differently to another, just because the woman decided she had as much right to walk home, alone, (maybe even drunk) as her male friend did the night before?

"Motorists shouldn't speed up at zebra crossings but some of them do...therefore you teach your children not to just 'walk out' in the blind hope someone won't break the law."

So how do people feel about the campaign "Kill your speed, not a child"?

Pointless? Militant? Ridiculous and we should only be educating children not to run out, not educating/pressurizing drivers not to speed?

The only people I have ever heard imply that all men are rapists is men themselves. For instance a tory MEP claimed that if a woman slept in the same bed as a man she was partly to blame if he raped her, if that is not saying that women should treat all men even men they trust as rapists what is. Considering most rapes happen in marriage or long term relationships, it is especially bad. It is funny how people like that to to imply rape victims are asking for it and are teasing men and say they should help themselves to not get raped, yet on the other hand harp on about marriage being the bedrock of society despite thethis fact

No Shirley, I am not saying that. I am saying that the posters and advice for women, that may help them to protect themselves from possible danger should not be ignored, mocked, or ridiculed simply because "it is never the womans fault".

We should ensure that women respect their own safety first and foremost because that is something that as women, (and men, because men get raped too), we can do.

We cannot stop rapists. They are not going to suddenly stop in their tracks and think "oh dear, I shouldnt be doing this, it is wrong". They will always exist, no matter how much society wishes they didnt. But what we can do is try to protect ourselves from being in a situation where they can do it.

I will repeat myself again here, I am referring to women who get raped by strangers. Not women who are raped by people they know, at home, at work, or by people who they trusted. Strangers. They may be a minority of cases, but surely one case is one too many.

Some rapists no doubt are "sick in the head" to the point where they wouldn't be able to stop themselves whatever the attitude of the people around them.

These men need long hard sentences- and they need judges prepared to dish those out without accepting any mitigation "because he thought she wanted it really".

Other men might be able to stop themselves if they really, seriously became convinced that what they were doing was rape and that this was wrong. There is plenty of evidence that more men commit rape in societies where this is condoned, e.g. in slave owning societies and societies at war; also, that there are men who do not view rape of an inferior woman (e.g. a slave woman or a prostitute or a prisoner or a woman of different race) as "real rape", though the same men would be never dream of raping a different kind of woman.

These are men who could restrain themselves if they became convinced that what they were doing was wrong in the eyes of other men. What they need is a society that speaks out loud and clear against all kinds of sexual violence.

Debating what? That society is accepting of rape?

Theres nothing to debate because its bullshit.

Rape is bad. Yes everyone gets it except the rapists. But they make up a tiny tiny fraction of the population.

Should prison terms go up? Yes. Should we push to increase the conviction rate? Yes.

Should moronic images that paint all men as not being able to help themselves when the opportunity to rape comes along be laughed off the board? Yes.

why have you put 'it is not their fault' in inverted commas?

Lassylass, that is NOT what the leaflet is saying.
You know satire, right?

So, Squeaky. Should I be telling my (male) best friends that they shouldn't be out alone after dark, or shouldn't wear tight trousers "cos that's asking for it", or they should carry a rape alarm, or to avoid dark alleyways.

Talking of which, my house can only be accessed via an unlit passage. Should I just avoid going home if it's dark?

Lassylass on a thread where the OP thought her DH had paid for sex with a prostitute:

His money - within reason he can decide how to spend the excess once bills are paid at the end of the day. SAHM is a luxury, not a right. You want to call the financial shots, you need to earn the money.

Just in case anyone was thinking of spending their valuable time trying to introduce her to reason or logic.

Thanks, puffin!

To repeat: it is not a fact that rape is a never-changing constant which occurs at the same rate in all societies at all times.

There is plenty of evidence that the rape rate in a country is in proportion to societal attitudes to violence and more specifically towards women. In countries where rape is condoned, there is, unsuprisingly, more rape.

In other words, the argument "there is no point, we'll never stop it anyway" doesn't wash. Zero tolerance makes for a lower rape rate than high tolerance. And a lower rape rate, while not as good as no rape rate, is still a lot better than a high rape rate.

Yes, why is that in inverted comma's? It is never the woman's fault if she's raped. Never.

I think lassylass, you have a different idea of what is worthy of debate and what isn't to me.

Society isn't accepting of rape - just a bit more into victim blaming than I'd like. I'm hardly being contentious.

even earlier in some places, Octopus.

I think my uni friends would have laughed if I insiisted on several of them walking me back to the childminders, getting the bus back to my town, walked me home, checked for monsters in the cupboard then heading back to the halls.

And I certainly wouldn't have afforded taxi fares on a daily basis...

ARGH! x posted wqith puffin. Fair play.