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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Supermarket car park staff member - WIBU?

305 replies

HalloweenOutThatPumpkin · 18/10/2011 22:21

AIBU, SN, Waitrose and the car park. I must be stark raving mad, but here goes ...

I shop in the same branch of Waitrose every other day and have done for years. All the regular staff know me and the guys who collect the trolleys are among them.

This evening half the car park was totally empty so instead of driving round the one way system shown by the arrows I nipped into the "down" lane, parked in the first space and got out of the car.

Cue fairly large trolley bloke who has SN of some sort (not sure what they are because he never talks to anyone as far as I know) shouting "Eh! Eh!" at me and pointing at the ground. I couldn't work out what he meant and just looked confusedly back at him. After a minute or so of this he walked over and shouted right in my face "One Way, One Way" and pointed at the arrow. I said that there were no other cars there so I couldn't see the problem. He followed me round the car, still shouting "One Way" at me while I hunted for my bags. It was after dark, there was no one else around and I felt quite intimidated so after I had scarpered to the shop I mentioned it at the customer service desk. I just said that it was quite an outburst and it had left me feeling a bit shaken.

Now I am not sure if I did the right thing. I don't think he will lose his job over it or anything that drastic, but should I have simply thought "the guy has SN, he obviously needs people to follow rules, I've broken them and I should suck it up", or was I right to complain about him shouting at me?

OP posts:

FontOfAllEvil · 18/10/2011 23:09

Do people really get uptight about driving up the wrong lane in an empty carpark? Really, really? Isn't life too short to worry about such things?

disclaimer

this comment is directed at the people on this thread, not the man in question btw - and by empty I mean void of cars and people in the direct vicinity. So Nancy your example doesn't count as an empty car park.

senua · 18/10/2011 23:10

@ "sometimes i go up the down lane, sometimes i go in the out door, i once put a spoon in the knife compartment of my cutlery drawer."

This is a private carpark. It is not the public highway. The signs are advisory; they have no legal force.
It may be an idea to speak to Customer Services, seeing as you are such a regular in the shop, and withdraw any official complaint but still (unofficially)stand your ground over the outburst. I'm sure they have some policy about customers shouting at staff so it's only fair if it also operates the other way round.

higgle · 18/10/2011 23:10

YANBU the tyranny of supermarket parking rules is getting past a joke, with anyone who is not diabled and who doesn't have a child in tow having to park miles away from the front door and negotiate a strange one way system to get there. Nothing wrong in breaking the rules if you are sure it is safe - what can they do anyway? He was hassling you and made you feel uncomfortable, perfectly righ to report it.

Mardymwahhaha · 18/10/2011 23:10

Oh I hate this. The OP has stated that she was being unreasonable but everyone will continue to pile in and have a go.
OP - I feel for you. I've been unreasonable and admitted it in the past, but I'm afraid it won't stop there. Unfortunately it is an emotive subject.

PoppadumPreach · 18/10/2011 23:11

wilsonFricket out of interest, have you ever driven over 30 in a 30 zone??

If so, then step away from that moral highground.....

grumpypants · 18/10/2011 23:12

This is a really pointless op. The onl reason he approached her is because she was 'looking confusedly' when he pointed at the ground. So he came over to explain. Had she just said oh god, soorry it would have been a non issue. Tbh it all sounds dodgy - large man, dark, waitrose etc etc

usualsuspect · 18/10/2011 23:13

senua · 18/10/2011 23:15

OP when you spoke to customer services, what did they say?

devientenigma · 18/10/2011 23:18

another thing, Halloween took the nearest space................. was it a disabled space???

Just messing [hgrin]

PootlePosyPumpkin · 18/10/2011 23:26

I might have ignored the arrows in a truly deserted carpark. However, if the carpark/trolley attendant had pointed out my error then I would have just said "oh, sorry, I didn't notice" and get on with it. It honestly sounds like your reaction was more inappropriate than his.

GalaxyWeaver · 18/10/2011 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

HalloweenOutThatPumpkin · 18/10/2011 23:39

Oh dear. I suppose it was inevitable that this would kick off, and I knew that. I tried so hard to word my original post to prevent that. If it gets really nasty I will ask MNHQ to delete it, but I was asking a genuine question following a genuine report of a situation that arose this evening.

Senua, the lady I reported it to acknowledged that the trolley guy does have SN but she didn't go into any detail, and I totally respect that. She will speak to the branch manager. I have known the CS lady for 20+ years and I know that she will deal with the matter sensibly.

OP posts:

SacreLao · 19/10/2011 00:18

What makes you think he was shouting??
Could he just have been loud??

My dad is completely deaf and as a result has a VERY loud voice that comes across as shouting when he is not aware of it. He also has very limited vocabularly due to this and would have 'pointed out your mistake' in exactly the same way.

It would not be aggressive, threatening or intimidating but simply him telling you that you made a mistake in the only way he has available.

PeneloPeePitstop · 19/10/2011 00:30

Oh aren't you lovely?

coldcustard · 19/10/2011 00:33

at "sometimes i go up the down lane, sometimes i go in the out door, i once put a spoon in the knife compartment of my cutlery drawer."

LoopyLoopsPussInBoots · 19/10/2011 00:41

Umm

I think that'll do now ladies.

I don't think she was trying to be mean, and the one-way thing is different in a deserted carpark.

Enough now.

VivaLeBeaver · 19/10/2011 00:43

You can't go in the out door at my local wait rose. Door won't open. Which winds me up as they have the doors the wrong way round. Surely everyone knows you should go in on the left and out on the right. No,other way round here and I walk p to the wrong door every time.

Booooooyhoo · 19/10/2011 00:43

i think YABU to go the wrong way, but i think you know that.

i think he was BU to shout in your face.

if you were genuinely intimidated by it then i think you did the right thing to draw his employers' attention to the fact that he shouted at a customer. allowing them the opportunity to speak with him about it. perhaps he is doing the same to other customers aswell.

however if you just reported him to feel as though you had got one over on him then ywbu and should retract your complaint.

Andrewofgg · 19/10/2011 06:55

Nice typo, spigerpig8, drove her can!

savoycabbage · 19/10/2011 07:04

I don't think you were wrong to drive the wrong way in an empty carpark and you did not deserve to be shouted at for doing so.

ghoulionine · 19/10/2011 07:13

"I don't think you were wrong to drive the wrong way in an empty carpark and you did not deserve to be shouted at for doing so."

Did you understand that op had mistakenly gone the wrong way or is desregard of a rule, as long as it is not affecting you, ok in your opinioon? As I understood, OP deliberatly chose to go that way because it was empty and the wrong way was a faster way. OP is BU.

ghoulionine · 19/10/2011 07:16

Oh and op, dealing with the matter sensibly would mean she will tell you you were out of order complaining about someone telling you (maybe to loudly) that what you were doing was wrong when what you were doing indeed was wrong.

LottieJenkins · 19/10/2011 07:23

YABVU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My ds is deaf and has learnig difficulties you have offended me with your comments. Our local supermarket employs adults with learning difficulties to pack the bags and collect the trollies. They are lovely guys who take their job very seriously!

LoveBeingAWitch · 19/10/2011 07:28

Just a thought op but if he was in the car park Could he have been scared that you could have hit him?

ghoulionine · 19/10/2011 07:30

"Do people really get uptight about driving up the wrong lane in an empty carpark? Really, really? Isn't life too short to worry about such things?"

I do not think people actually are so uptight but fact is she did the wrong thing and was told so. OP should just have gracioulsy accepted she was wrong rather than go to complain about a person with possible SN who was actually only doing their job and imposing an existing rule, not making one on the spot becausre it is more convenient to them.

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