Supermarket car park staff member - WIBU?

[HalloweenOutThatPumpkin]

AIBU, SN, Waitrose and the car park. I must be stark raving mad, but here goes ...

I shop in the same branch of Waitrose every other day and have done for years. All the regular staff know me and the guys who collect the trolleys are among them.

This evening half the car park was totally empty so instead of driving round the one way system shown by the arrows I nipped into the "down" lane, parked in the first space and got out of the car.

Cue fairly large trolley bloke who has SN of some sort (not sure what they are because he never talks to anyone as far as I know) shouting "Eh! Eh!" at me and pointing at the ground. I couldn't work out what he meant and just looked confusedly back at him. After a minute or so of this he walked over and shouted right in my face "One Way, One Way" and pointed at the arrow. I said that there were no other cars there so I couldn't see the problem. He followed me round the car, still shouting "One Way" at me while I hunted for my bags. It was after dark, there was no one else around and I felt quite intimidated so after I had scarpered to the shop I mentioned it at the customer service desk. I just said that it was quite an outburst and it had left me feeling a bit shaken.

Now I am not sure if I did the right thing. I don't think he will lose his job over it or anything that drastic, but should I have simply thought "the guy has SN, he obviously needs people to follow rules, I've broken them and I should suck it up", or was I right to complain about him shouting at me?

[borderslass]

Rhubarb you sound like a brilliant sister who watches out for her brother, don't let the idiots chase you away.

[senua]

Our local supermarket has loads of SN workers. They are all well behaved and polite, just like the rest of the staff. I have never seen any of them, SN or not, shout at customers. No one should interact with customers in such a way that they feel intimidated.

[CristinaaarghdellAaarghPizza]

Exactly what Rhubarb said. senua - why would you expect someone with SN to behave as if they didn't have SN? You are showing a shocking lack of compassion

This thread is a masterpiece of ignorance. I thought the days of the SN adult being feared and reviled were long gone. I see all you need to do is scrape the surface and it's there

[Flamingredhead]

just to point out to Op when you saw fit to break the rules as so you said no one was in car park .The man obviously was .

[Rhubarb0oooo]

sorry bupcakes, I've got to see to the kids today, I promised them an outing and I don't want this thread to leave me angry and upset all day because that's not fair on them.

But just to say that I've been spat at before now whilst out with my brother, I've protected him when drunk arseholes think it's funny to have a go, I've put up with stares from people, I've seen how upset he gets when people have complained about him, I've seen him go from job to job but they never last because people don't want him serving them or they don't want to have to supervise him. He's been called every name under the sun and I've been told that there is no place for him in society. I've also had people argue that they don't think their taxes should go towards helping people like him. Prejudice is rife and more than once I've wept over his treatment. So excuse me for getting upset, but this is typical of the day to day ignorance he faces.

This poor man probably doesn't talk to anyone because he is acutely aware of his poor communication skills. He is anxious to do his job properly as it may well be his 7th or 8th attempt at finding work. Now he has a complaint against his name because someone felt intimidated by him - no doubt whilst he was wearing a Waitrose uniform and within close vicinity of the store.

She refused to say sorry, she doesn't think that driving the wrong way around the car park is wrong but she is a stickler for rules in that he gets a complaint for pointing this out to her.

[Flamingredhead]

glaaxy the trolley people do in our car parks .And im sorry the op even said she knew he had sn .Mind think if she actually acknowledged him then he may well have not been louder ds3 sometimes when people cna not understand him he gets louder

[whatsallthehullaballoo]

So because the man has SN it is ok for him to follow a customer, shout and gesticulate?
I understand the OP sounds as if she was being ignorant towards him but I would be intimidated by a man/ woman that I do not know, shouting at me and following me. I probably would not have complained. I think we need more information on how intimidating the situation was and what the Customer Services said.

[Mimmee]

The markings might be advisory - but again it does matter to the trolley workers because they could potentially be hurt by someone driving the wrong way particularly if it was dark.

And how do you know that they have not been told to advise customers not to do it by the store itself?

[usualsuspect]

what CristinaaarghdellAaarghPizza and rhubarb said

I thought the days of ignorance and intolerance towards SN were long gone ,obviously not

[senua]

"He is anxious to do his job properly as it may well be his 7th or 8th attempt at finding work"

You are projecting again. OP said that he has been at the supermarket for ten years.

[CristinaaarghdellAaarghPizza]

He was trying to make himself understood whatsall. If he has some kind of autism, the fact that the OP isn't following the rules would be very distressing to him.

The OP was in the wrong. She drove the wrong way around the car park, he got upset, she should have apologised.

[FrightNight]

I wonder if those saying Op was ok to go against the "advisory arrows" (?..) if she'd crashed into them?

Thought not.

Time for an OP update. Have you remedied this situation yet?

[FrightNight]

Also high fives Rhubarb.

[whatsallthehullaballoo]

OK christina - I agree the situation should have been handled very differently by the op.

From reading this thread I have realised that it seems to be a question of whether or not we should (as customers) be making allowances for SN adults working in stores.

I think that we should make allowances as they too deserve the opportunity to work and earn a living.

[happystory]

You should NOT have reported it to customer services, OP. You were in the wrong - regardless of the time/quietness of car park etc and whilst I'm sure many of us would have ignored the arrows under those circumstances, the guy was just doing his job. You're a regular there, you know him, you know the staff. Why make yourself look such an idiot?

[TheTenantOfWildfellHall]

FFS.

Rhubarb, don't go!

I cannot believe that the OP felt that it was appropriate to complain! Would she have complained had her fault been pointed out to her by an employee without SN?

After so many threads about DLA and people with disabilities getting handouts, here's a thread about a man with a SN doing a job and he is still being complained about. Unbelievable!

[BupcakesandHaunting]

"i couldn't give a stuff if someone has an SN or not"

You sound like a real treasure.

Let's hope that no future child/grandchild of yours is born with SNs, hey? I'd hate to think that they'd have a mum/granny with as little empathy as you seem to have.

[onefatcat]

OFGS!
OP has not laughed or poked fun at the guy!
Supermarkets often employ people with SN to collect trolleys etc so she is probably right to assume he has SN,
If the OP had come on saying she was harassed by an employee of the supermarket without mentioning SN you would all have been crying ABUSE! get him sacked!, men shouldn't be allowed to harass women in dark carparks etc.
SN or not, employees still have to conform to behaviour codes towards customers and the man probably needs to be reminded of this so you were right to report the incidence.
However, you were in the wrong by not following the arrows, but of course, people on mumsnet never break rules, they are all fine upstanding members of the community and never take opportunities to make their life easier by breaking a little rule. So you will be slated!

[popadop]

ok [I am preparing for a flaming]


SN people should expect to be treated the same as anyone else, but when we do some people don't like it.

If the man in question was 19 had a hoody on because it was cold and the same experience happened.......some people would be calling for his sacking.