Supermarket car park staff member - WIBU?

[HalloweenOutThatPumpkin]

AIBU, SN, Waitrose and the car park. I must be stark raving mad, but here goes ...

I shop in the same branch of Waitrose every other day and have done for years. All the regular staff know me and the guys who collect the trolleys are among them.

This evening half the car park was totally empty so instead of driving round the one way system shown by the arrows I nipped into the "down" lane, parked in the first space and got out of the car.

Cue fairly large trolley bloke who has SN of some sort (not sure what they are because he never talks to anyone as far as I know) shouting "Eh! Eh!" at me and pointing at the ground. I couldn't work out what he meant and just looked confusedly back at him. After a minute or so of this he walked over and shouted right in my face "One Way, One Way" and pointed at the arrow. I said that there were no other cars there so I couldn't see the problem. He followed me round the car, still shouting "One Way" at me while I hunted for my bags. It was after dark, there was no one else around and I felt quite intimidated so after I had scarpered to the shop I mentioned it at the customer service desk. I just said that it was quite an outburst and it had left me feeling a bit shaken.

Now I am not sure if I did the right thing. I don't think he will lose his job over it or anything that drastic, but should I have simply thought "the guy has SN, he obviously needs people to follow rules, I've broken them and I should suck it up", or was I right to complain about him shouting at me?

[AllThreeWays]

He wasn't doing his job! His job is to collect trolleys, not police guidelines.

[GuillotinedMaryLacey]

OMG it's a private road, how many times. It's not a one way street, it's not bound by law. It's a suggestion you know, like all those other guidelines people ignore. No great crime was committed by nipping the 'wrong' way round an empty car park.

[popadop]

I have read the first two pages and I am amazed that everyone thinks this is acceptable.

I would of reported him as well.

I am not interested if he has SN or not the shop has a duty to employ reasonable people in their store not someone that is going to be intimidating the customers.

[saintmerryweather]

YWNBU - if this bloke didn't have SN everyone would be agreeing with you and urging you to complain. I would have felt intimidated as well and you should uphold your complaint so they can monitor him a bit more closely. Shouting in your face is not acceptable, SN or not. Don't do it again!

[Byeckersiambloodyscarylike]

Galaxyweaver said exactly what i was going to say, if your op hadnt mentioned sn, but you had put exactly the same otherwise, this would not have ended so badly, she drove the wrong way in an empty car park at night and parked inthenearest space she said.

You must all be so perfect

[schobe]

Shouldn't this be in Frothing Berserkers?

[5ofus]

OP sounds like she was genuinely intimidated by this mans behaviour. I think she was right to bring it to the attention of the shop.

[TunaTiebacks]

Totally agree with both of GalaxyWeaver s posts. YANBU.

[saintmerryweather]

Also can't see how the op was taking the piss out of his SN, she was just describing what happened. Don't think there was any need for the name calling at the start of the thread

[whatsallthehullaballoo]

YANBU - I also think that any employee following you round chastising you would be intimidating regardless of SN.

I was in my local supermarket and I went tot he cake counter. A lady approach and I asked for what I want whilst looking down at the cakes. When I looked up she said to me in a VERY stern tone "Excuse me!! I am deaf and I have to lip read. How am I supposed to know what you want when you are looking at the ground? I do have a sign on the counter. Now ask again and look at me when you speak to me!"

I was shocked tbh. I hadn't seen the sign on the side of the counter...I apologised and asked again whilst looking. She virtually threw the cakes at me and left. I felt humiliated quite frankly!! I didn't complain...I was too embarrassed.

[Lucyinthepie]

I agree with the more recent posts. Op was right to have a word about this because he shouldn't have followed her round the car park using intimidating behaviour. For one thing, do that to the wrong person and he might get hurt. For another, people sometimes make mistakes, the reason why Op went the "wrong way" is quite irrelevant to me, she shouldn't have been treated like this by a member of staff. I'm sure he has been told what he should do if he sees a problem in the car park, and this isn't it, so he needs reminding.
Whether or not he has SN has fuck all to do with it.

[Rhubarb0oooo]

Lucy that is ridiculous. My brother has SN and would have done exactly the same. If someone breaks the rules he often shouts "EH!" at them, particularly if his job is there to ensure they don't. Car park safety is crucial and they feel if they don't point out that you have done wrong then they could get into trouble for not doing their jobs properly.

This man has been given the chance to work and be a useful member of society. If she knew she had driven the wrong way then a quick sorry would not have gone amiss.

And THIS comment "Cue fairly large trolley bloke who has SN of some sort (not sure what they are because he never talks to anyone as far as I know) shouting "Eh! Eh!" at me and pointing at the ground." is fucking disgusting. He doesn't talk to anyone so she hasn't had a chance to work out what is wrong with him? Are you totally fucking serious?????

My brother has no fucking label, he just has severe learning disabilities but perhaps I should put a fucking sign round his neck saying SEVERE SN just so that people can label him and judge.

FFS, I need to step away from this before I fucking burst.

[AKMD]

Another one here who didn't think the OP was making fun of the guy

You were being a bit silly to report him and I think you're doing the right thing to apologise, however I don't think you were being unreasonable to drive the way you did. People going on about the highway code do know that a supermarket carpark is private property right?

[cwtch4967]

You were in the wrong and didn't like it being pointed out. If you had obeyed the rules then this would not have happened.

[Lucyinthepie]

My cousin has SN and works as a street cleaner. It would be wrong in any circumstances for him to follow someone shouting at them, which is what this man did.
The Op worded her post badly, but that doesn't alter what happened. I don't imagine for one minute this man will end up losing his job, but hopefully his superviser will be able to give him some guidance so that it doesn't happen again.

[thefirstMrsDeVeerie]

YABU because the SN is totally irrelevant and it makes you sound as if you were scared of him because of it. I know you dont think you are being discriminatory but I think you could really do with looking at your attitudes towards SN.

YANBU for driving that way IMO because I do it all the time in empty carparks. However if I was caught out I would have to take it like a grown up.

Rhub I get you.

[HSMM]

OP drove the wrong way around the car park and was frightened by a member of staff.

She was right to report intimidating behaviour.

I'm sure she won't be driving against the arrows in this particular car park again.

In general I think people should go around the car park the right way, but if it was empty, I might have been tempted to take a short cut ...

[BupcakesandHaunting]

You silly sausage.

So many wrong things that I can't be arsed to
point out so I'll just say YABVU. Nose put out of joint because you weren't treated like minor royalty in "your" Waitrose, is it?!

[FlossieFromCrapstonVillas]

I doubt many here wouldn't nip across an empty car park, (rightly or wrongly) but we are adults, sometimes we make errors of judgement, all it takes is a quiet word and job done. Completely different if the car park is full but again, as adults you sort of get that's not appropriate behaviour.

I don't see where the OP has been rude about the attendant.

[GirlWithALlamaTattoo]

The SN is extremely relevant as a potential mitigating factor. If you were physically and verbally intimidated by an apparently NT person in an empty car park you would have no doubt that they were out of order and no hesitation in reporting them.

As this man appeared to have a disability, he may have had a reason for behaving in a way that would ordinarily have been inappropriate.

I'd echo what so many others have said; markings in private car parks are advisory only and no enforceable. Certainly not enforceable by incoherent shouting.

It may have been a bit OTT to report him, but that's a difficult one to call. It would depend on whether OP felt threatened or frightened by him, I think.

[Magneto]

I think the op was bu to drive around the car park the wrong way but was not unreasonable to complain. If I were shouted at and intimidated by anyone, sn or not, I would complain too.