To consider giving our DC absolutely nothing for Christmas

[dramatrauma]

So this week DH asks, what do you think we should get the DC - ages 5 & 8 -for Christmas. (He likes to budget and plan ahead, the sensible man.) He says this just after I have had a good clean-out of the kids' toys, books and games. And you know what? I cannot think of one single thing they need. Or would really play with more than what they already own.

We are not wealthy, and I don't think the kids have overmuch stuff compared to their friends. But birthdays and Christmases and aunties and uncles and grandparents all pile it up. There's enough Lego in this house to build a small city, and furnish it. There are Barbies, Polly Pockets, card games, board games, art supplies, and enough books and DVDs to start a library. They have bicycles and scooters and footballs and dress-up clothes.

I am sick of having all this STUFF. And you know what it's like, there's always little bits of toys/games piling up somewhere, on a bedside table, on a desk, under the bed. I'm forever picking up something and thinking, now what did that belong with originally?

I really don't want to buy them any more stuff. And I don't want other people to give it to them either. AIBU? Or miserable?

What about something more interesting like a trip to see a kids London show or a christmas panto or Lego Land with a nights stay in a hotel or clothes. Or open a savings account and tell your relatives that the children are saving for something big. Sell old unwanted toys in NCT sales and put the money in thier account to help clear the house of tat. Use Xmas money to pay for new clubs (swimming?) or a special day trip horse riding? Years back kids were excited if they got an orangeat Xmas!! I just hate how christmas is so money money money driven. Good on you for having a rethink

Great suggestions above about memberships to things like the London Zoo or you could always support a child in the third world.

Lovefilm or similar subscription? Then you could have a family movie night once a month & they could take it in turns to choose a film?

I agree that it would be mean to get them nothing. There's lots that you can get without it taking over your house...

My DDs will be 8 and 5 by Christmas and I agree with previous Posters - buy things that are perishable and won't last forever.

For us, the Children ask Santa for 3 things on their list. One big present and a couple of little things. Then Santa buys things that they need. This usually includes:

• Things we don't normally allow the children to have: Chocolate cereal, chewing gum

• Things they need on an annual basis - new socks, pants, tights, pjs, slippers, clothes etc all in the next size up.

• A couple of craft activities such as make your own lip gloss - these get put in a box that we put away and get out over the year

• Now they're getting older we're replacing their children's melamine plates and cups with more grown up glasses. These are usually filled with sweets etc.

• Replenishable hair stuff / toiletries - hair bands and clips, nail polishes, things for parties etc. This also includes nice Bubble baths / shower gels, flannels etc

• Books and DVDs. As the children get older, they need new, better books - so DD is now studying French at school - so she'll get a French DVD and book for example.

• Things they might need for their hobbies - new ballet socks or tights etc...

And hey presto, before you know it you have a sack full of things and only a couple of toys that add to the 'mess'. By next year most of it will be gone and you'll be needing to get some more . My girls are always pleased with their sacks, and the best thing - 90% of it they would be given anyway and almost all of it costs less than £5 each item, some as little as a quid or two.

For their main gifts, they will be given things they want. My Dds are Gymnastics mad, so they're having tickets to see the gymnastics in january, a new leotard, and then general things like one new wii game each, a music CD and a picture for their walls.

Really, there is so much you can buy - it doesn't have to be toys. It just takes a bit of imagination!

Kindles!!!
and Ipods!!!!

No more clutter from books and cds

(I am a genius - unless someone else has already mentioned it in which case I am not)

I'm always interested in how others do Christmas.

I have 2 children, they'll be 10 (on Christmas Eve) and 7 (St Stephens day!)

They get birthday gifts in birthday paper on their actual birthdays.

But we never buy them gifts for Christmas. We've never done it. They get so much from aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.. and we buy all the Santa stuff - it's never even dawned on our kids that we don't buy them a gift.

This thread had made me have a lightbulb moment. The fact that everyone is so aghast at not adding more stuff to a household that is already swamped....It really makes me wish I had the guts to enforce a no present Christmas.

I have tried to get family to tone it down in past years - futile, we still literally wade through toys on a daily basis. What on earth is the point of chucking stuff out that has hardly been played with in order to buy more. Why on earth do we all equate having thing with being happy, when all evidence is to the contrary??

We have all gone a bit mad IMO, me included....

...having things obviously. If it were just thing there would be no problem!

Ooo, something else we have started doing...fill the room with balloons! the kids love it and it only costs a couple of quid. They also love to pop them all a couple of days after :)

It's almost like people don't want to hear it, isn't it?

It's not about spending less - e-bay, charity shop, whatever
It's not about buying experiences
It's not about finding more and more convoluted ways of doing the same things in different ways

It's about cultivating gratitude, taking care of what we have, not always wanting more and more and more...

I do not love my parents because of the presents they gave me at Christmas. I love them for lots of other reasons, and I trust that my children will love me no less because their haul at Christmas is not spectacular.

Not referring to anyone here, but it's worth considering the other 364 days of the year. I am a bit [hhmm] when people suddenly go all frugal and worthy at Christmas and don't change their extravagant ways the rest of the year...

I am worthy year-round - just trying to bring Christmas in line!

And who bought them all the plastic tat?

If they already have plenty of the commercial stuff and couldn't possibly play with any more, get them to give away the stuff they no longer appreciate, get them a minimal amount of stuff they'd expect and then use your imagination and get them something they'd love without knowing about it already. Get them learning a craft or a skill. Get them starting a savings account (or even just adding most of what you'd spend of Christmas to their CTFs).

Fixture - I am worthy year round - which is why my DDs get a year's supply of everything they need at Christmas .

My Dds don't even get big birthday presents (because they get a party instead).

I always ask family to get my dc dvds for xmas they dont take up much space and you get a couple of hours peace thrown in!

Getting the family in on presents for the kids isn't all that hard, btw. I have 2 kids with ASD who will easily ignore or reject something they don't really want. So, my parents get told in advance of something that DS1 has been nagging for and which DS2 would appreciate (not even expensive - they've learned to live with that) and in laws give a little bit of money, since there are few shops where they live that sell the sort of stuff the boys really appreciate and DS1 does love having money to spend, himself (huge control issues). My sister, who is often strapped for cash has learnt that, while I'm happy to give her kids a token for somewhere they'd love to spend the money, mine are really happy with something small and fun and they haven't even noticed the imbalance because I don't make it any of their business, even if they did care.

A bit of straight talking and honesty goes a long way.

YANBU i think the same thing- but my soluton is to buy stuff that will 'disappear'- craft things that they make and then they're done with, models etc. Or at the very least, stuff that's recyclable. And buy less of it maybe.

1 on 1 time doing something they love sounds like a better christmas present. Going somewhere exciting, rewarding with memories to take home.
Get them to pick which toys are better repatriated through the charity shop/ friend/ relative route.
Introduce hobbies rather than clutter crap... art, crafts, photography, a diary, excursions....
Or box it all up and see what they miss most first. If they can't name/ describe it then its not worth keeping... unless they never saw it or it was being saved until they were old enough for it.

We have 4 DCs and far too much stuff even though I keep clearing out. With a large extended family it can get a bit out of hand. I tend to just do stockings and relatives do other pressies. They all play with the same stuff together so it's not like they are feeling a lack! Apart from anything else, the sight of the children opening hundreds of presents in a frenzied way turns my stomach a bit.

Last year, for birthdays throughout the year we asked people to contribute towards annual passes for a local theme park. We then made up the difference. We've already made good use of them and the kids really appreciate this.

can't be bothered to read everyoes suggestions

my lot are getting magazine subscriptions this year
beano
pokemon
and kids nat geographic

A bit of an extreme suggestion, but if you move overseas I guarantee it will cut down on the influx of plastic tat.

We live abroad and it REALLY limits what people send you, my in-laws in particular are very generous and I know if we live in the UK my DD would have 10 million toys and I would be stuck trying to find homes for them all.

We still have to cut down though, our house isn't big so I hate bulky toys and am just having a big ebay/charity clear out.

But in answer to the question YABU as there are plenty of gifts you can get them that are not crappy toys.

OP, good for you and thank you for this thread, lots of great ideas I'm going to steal.

We're also at bursting point, and that's with a dedicated play room! Since DD was born 3 years ago the relatives (and us) have bought her all kinds. But when I visit friends with kids the same age, they all seem to have at least twice as much stuff as she does. On her last birthday we encouraged relatives to give us money towards one main present (which she opened with all of us there) and savings, but she was then deluged with plastic crap by friends who came to her birthday party, which was unavoidable.

Now baby DS is here, we've realised that some of the pink plastic crap (not bought by us, we have always stuck with gender-neutral) will have to make way. So encouraging another minimal-present Christmas, which will be helped by us spending Christmas Day at home, just the four of us.

We're going to get DD one small main present and then a stocking, and baby DS will get a token something, but I may well just wrap up some of the baby toys from DD as he will still be far too tiny to know what's going on, it will just be for DD's benefit to see he has some presents. DS really needs nothing as we have all the toys and kit from DD, plus have been given a mountain if second-hand clothes.

One final thing (sorry this is long) is just to say that we try to offset the cost of Christmas by eBay sales in the months leading up to it. Last year we set a target and hit it. This year's target is smaller as we have a smaller budget for Christmas, but it should still be doable.

I have just ordered DS a very small working guitar. He loves music and DH is a good musician (in a way a pressie for DH as well, if all goes to plan they will have fun together woth this ). I would prob have got it for him anyway to be honest. In addition, prob some books / jigsaw puzzles/a few og Thomas' Brio compatible friends. The Jolly Xmas postman. We plan to go to the theatre. I do think of myself as making quite a big deal of Xmas (we go to church, Nativity play, Messy Church party etc)but at this stage not planning more plastic clutter. I am planning that he will get his first bike from his baby sister who is due feb.

For other peoples' kids' when it is present time (birthdays or xmas) I always get things that can be used up so I don't add to their toy mountains - things like art or craft kits that make something they can then give away to a relative, cooking kits, gardening kits, outdoor rocket kits, picnic kit, etc Some of these you can even make up yourself - like a recipe mix for cookies (they just add fresh ingredients like an egg & milk).