To consider giving our DC absolutely nothing for Christmas

[dramatrauma]

So this week DH asks, what do you think we should get the DC - ages 5 & 8 -for Christmas. (He likes to budget and plan ahead, the sensible man.) He says this just after I have had a good clean-out of the kids' toys, books and games. And you know what? I cannot think of one single thing they need. Or would really play with more than what they already own.

We are not wealthy, and I don't think the kids have overmuch stuff compared to their friends. But birthdays and Christmases and aunties and uncles and grandparents all pile it up. There's enough Lego in this house to build a small city, and furnish it. There are Barbies, Polly Pockets, card games, board games, art supplies, and enough books and DVDs to start a library. They have bicycles and scooters and footballs and dress-up clothes.

I am sick of having all this STUFF. And you know what it's like, there's always little bits of toys/games piling up somewhere, on a bedside table, on a desk, under the bed. I'm forever picking up something and thinking, now what did that belong with originally?

I really don't want to buy them any more stuff. And I don't want other people to give it to them either. AIBU? Or miserable?

dramatrauma My mum made one for me when I was about 6 and I LOVED it - the smaller jars the better really so mustard jars, redcurrant jelly....

sweets that are good are skittles, jelly tots and there's a great website called aquarterof that you can order old fashioned sweets from.... B&Q have a pine 3 shelf set for £10 that's 14cm deep so perfect for jars.

I know this as I'm planning to do a 'post-office' for my DD (basically lots of stationery and sheets of 1p stamps!)

YABU at that age they will realise that their parents haven't got them anything. Even if you just got them a book each it would be better than nothing

Clean out their toys more often

Sponsor a goat in their name

HTH

Yours are a bit too old for this - but when they were younger they liked presents that were 'presented' in some wacky way. When DS2 was 1 I only spent about £15 on his presses, but I stacked them up and wrapped the tower in tin foil. When anyone asked what he got - the other DSs were full of 'the rocket' - and didn't actually remember or care what the contents were once DS had toppled the rocket.

Also - don't disregard 2nd hand. I have no problem buying 2nd hand gifts for my DC - particularly as it can sometimes turn up very amusing stuff (e.g. Buy to a theme - where some of the presents are 'real' , and some are there just to raise a laugh on the day - but it's all cheap enough not to matter much).

You are all full of brilliant ideas.

So, okay, must get them a stocking so as not to deliver the "Santa is a fake and we've been lying to you" bombshell quite so harshly. Fill said stocking with stuff they can eat, drink, wash with or plant so as not to create more shite on my shelves.

Then find some sort of lesson (really love the riding, but feel will be impossible in London - maybe climbing or ice skating?) or experience or day out so they have a pressie each. But it won't be STUFF.

Then let all the relatives bring it on, the Lego, the Barbie clothes, the magnetic, wheel-changing, battery-consuming crap that I know is coming. And take deep breaths and treasure their little smiles and don't complain.

Or the goat. I still like the goat idea. I'd get a dog, but then they'll want to buy presents for the dog next year, won't they??

You need more creative thinking.

1. stockings of stuff that will be USED UP! - fancy cookies/giant chocolate coins/edible paint/crayons/sweetie jewellery/smelly bath stuff (lots!!!!)

1. storage for stuff you already have - giant fancy toyboxes/child bookcases/princess or car dressing table

1. stuff to make - craft kits - when done and kept a wee while discreetly chuck or make candles/bath bombs ie: stuff to use up

1. experiences - days out, theatre, ballet, classes (like horse riding) - zoo annual passes

Yep you can't forget the dog's prezzies

And purpleturtletoise... yes, exactly. Exactly.

Laurie that storage idea is a very good one, as well.

The climbing lessons I bought was a holiday course in Swiss Cottage sports centre. I can't speak highly enough of how professional and enthusiastic the staff were. It's a fabulous facility. I also really enjoyed our post climb chats and coffee pit stops - while they were all high on the adrenaline and buzz.

(For real - they had my four year old climbing a ten foot wall. My seven year old was tying her own knots and belaying her partner - so they had a well deserved buzz of achievement).

Also - have you considered clothes for your older one? Particularly a DS might have a secret hankering for some 'cool' jacket or trainers - and a little indulgence on your part might earn you the benefit of him taking more care of his possessions.

Well, a quick google of riding lessons in London suggests that it is quite possible but only if you are very, very rich

(And I thought that £15 an hour was a lot of money . . .)

There is riding available in LOndon-

Hyde Park (mega bucks)
www.hydeparkstables.com/prices.html

Wimbledon (slightly less mega bucks)
www.wvstables.com/childrens-riding

Enfield (back into mere mortals territory)
www.trentpark.com/times-and-prices/childrens-prices.html

Climbing wall - has been a massive hit with friends children

westwaysportscentre.rtrk.co.uk/?scid=52271&kw=5949064:12723&pub_cr_id=11722371237

YANBU -but you've started a bit late. You have to indoctrinate them early.

We've never done presents for xmas and the dc really don't feel the lack - we do all the other fun stuff, tree, food, lights etc. but no presents.

We already get them everything they need and then some as soon as the need presents itself, and I feel frankly :( when people think there cannot be magic without consumerist crap which is wrecking the planet (a mess that they will have to deal with when they grow up, btw, as we will be past it by then).

Ds1 actually loves the shock value of saying 'Nah, we don't do the xmas thing' when people ask him about father xmas, or presents, or whether he has been 'good'.

Just skipped straight to the Enfield riding lessons, and that looks do-able for a package of lessons. As long as they don't ask for more until next Xmas! I won't bother with the other two. Ouch!

Climbing also looks really cool. Shall have to ask them which they fancy more.

This is so liberating. I have never before asked them what they'd like for Christmas because I haven't wanted to hear the long list of consumer products they must-have (and I always already know anyway). But, would you prefer climbing or riding or ice skating... that's great.

Are you going to sell/eBay or give away (to charity or a toy library) all the unwanted stuff? Plus perhaps resolve to only buy them stuff at birthdays and Xmas?

Why don;t you give them vouchers for things they like that they can give you when they want to redeem - eg. a trip to the playpark/swimming pool/ice skating lesson -whatever they're into! A meal at McDonalds/Pizza Express/Subway? A magazine subscription? A moshi monsters membership? A family theatre trip or day trip?

We moved house a couple of years ago and I had a massive clearout. The number, and volume, of toys that I gave away without either child noticing a thing made me feel rather sick - so much of people's labour and time and so much fucking up of the planet not to mention so much of me feeling depressed for years because the house was a permanent tip and full of crap by which I felt hopelessly defeated. Almost all of it came from jumble sales and charity shops - we don't have much extended family and aren't big spenders. We have a much less cluttered life in the new house. I asked all our friends and relatives to break the birthday/Christmas=stuff mentality, and to give the kids something small when they actually saw them, and dh and I agreed to stop buying anything except books, music and consumables. Ds1 is old enough to understand, esp the environmental argument, and ds2 is too little to notice. As long as there's some stuff to unwrap I don't think they actually notice if it's a pyramid of plastic crap or a box of chocs, 2 books and a cd. I'm hoping we've broken the cycle for the rest of our lives.

I've been tempted to go down that route OP as our kids seem completely happy with what they've got already. I'm desperate to give baby toys away but most of them were gifts and I'm nervous about a relative asking where they've gone.

Because I can't bear bits, we basically only give the DCs their beloved Duplo, Playmobil and Lego so that there are three crates in which to chuck toys when tidying + one for assorted figures/monsters...

I always forget the incredible number of gifts we will receive from friends, neighbours, etc... and to cut back our own. However, we will still be getting one main Christmas present for each (e.g. bike) + stockings from Santa. On the other hand they get nothing else other than at Birthday time.

My brother is an unbelievable tightwad and the family legend goes that one Christmas his DCs realised he'd given them a tube of toothpaste each, berry flavoured, possibly a free sample.

Since you're in London I would heartily recommend family membership of London Zoo, or the London Transport Museum - it's great being able to just dash in any time you fancy it to say hallo to the penguins without having to say "oh it cost us ££££, we have to spend the whole day here". My DPs get us membership of the Science Museum each year, which sounds strange because it's free entry, but actually it's great - it's supporting an institution we love, we get to see all the films and any paid exhibitions for free, we can jump the queue for Launch Pad if they're busy, and they do special free family activity days a few times a year which the DCs love.

DPs have also bought DD a subscription to the Beano in the past, but although she adored it, it is not a solution to the clutter problem, far from it. Anyone thinking of this for their DCs should Learn From My Fail.

If you get them a puppy then the puppy can eat all their toys and books so you'll have to throw it all out. You'll then have a lovely empty house and a lovely cute puppy.
problem solved.

not buying presents for dc's

For those who asked, yes I regularly sort through their stuff and give away or sell stuff they've outgrown or don't play with often enough. If it gets dusty, it goes. Baby stuff is long gone. (Except for books. Oh, the books!)

And the magazine subscriptions - I agree, they not only take up shelf space, they require their own storage container. Double loss.

We get the kids alot of Stuff like clothes/pj's, new slippers/winter boots etc for Christmas, one main present and stocking fillers (books, dvd's, little toys and bits, a couple of balloons