To consider giving our DC absolutely nothing for Christmas

[dramatrauma]

So this week DH asks, what do you think we should get the DC - ages 5 & 8 -for Christmas. (He likes to budget and plan ahead, the sensible man.) He says this just after I have had a good clean-out of the kids' toys, books and games. And you know what? I cannot think of one single thing they need. Or would really play with more than what they already own.

We are not wealthy, and I don't think the kids have overmuch stuff compared to their friends. But birthdays and Christmases and aunties and uncles and grandparents all pile it up. There's enough Lego in this house to build a small city, and furnish it. There are Barbies, Polly Pockets, card games, board games, art supplies, and enough books and DVDs to start a library. They have bicycles and scooters and footballs and dress-up clothes.

I am sick of having all this STUFF. And you know what it's like, there's always little bits of toys/games piling up somewhere, on a bedside table, on a desk, under the bed. I'm forever picking up something and thinking, now what did that belong with originally?

I really don't want to buy them any more stuff. And I don't want other people to give it to them either. AIBU? Or miserable?

I hate Xmas pressure.

My dc are not having loads this year, ds bike is too small so he is having a bike then a few stocking fillers like pencil crayon colouring books

Why dont you buy them an experience rather than a material gift eg a party, bowling, xcape, cinema, soft play, a holiday club/class?

EricNorthmansMistress I also believe that buying books isn't like buying other stuff. My parents think this, too. That's why my house looks like a branch of flippin' WH Smith. And one child isn't even literate yet.

I really, really hope you're joking but if not; if you don't get them presents for Christmas at their age, you will regret it.

By all means clear out clutter but if you don't get them anything they will notice and they will be crushed. It's not even about the actual presents but emotionally it will be devastating.

MrsdeVeerie If I buy them a goat, perhaps it will eat some of the art supplies. And books.

christmas isn't about needing things. it is about wanting things

yabvu and a bit of a numpty tbh

Get them a DS

I see where you are coming from but YABU to buy them nothing. My kids do have WAY too much, and I feel depressed when I think about how excited I was as a child to get one decent pressie like a Barbie. My DD gets so many presents, each one pales into insignificance!

If I were you, I would go through their toys, make three piles. One pile to keep, one pile for charity, and one pile for ebay. Buy their Xmas pressies from the ebay money, and tell them that Santa has decided they get one main present this year, and a few little ones, cos he hasn't got endless room on his sleigh!

Ask them to think REALLY hard about the one present they want. Then buy them that one pressie, plus some consumables! (chocolate, crafts), plus an event-type thing (cinema trip, panto, bowling etc).

oh yeah, and some clothes!

I hear you OP. DD isn't even 5 months and already the masses of stuff are accumulating. And I didn't buy hardly any of it! MIL is already buying games suitable for 3-4 years old because they're on sale. And I just don't have room for it.

I think the suggestions of a special trip as a gift are great. Your DC will love it, it takes no space & you'll have wonderful photos & memories. You could even get a family shot from the trip printed up on a canvas.

Toy sweet shop? Save all your jam jars and fill with various sweets a la days of old. Buy a small set of shelves that you can use later on the wall. Make a sign. Cue days of sugar-fuelled paying shops and then the sweets are all gone, the jam jars go in the recycling and the shelves go on the wall...

Seriously though, I know exactly where you're coming from as I keep saying I'm not going to get mine much and put some money into savings for them instead. I like the idea of an experience as others have said as that would be a really good treat for them.

betterwhen That is genius.

I know what you mean - and as a parent (ESP. If finances aren't constrained IMO) you do have the chance - and the responsibility in a way - to take control.

My suggestions might be:

• as someone said upthread - happy memory consumables. PJs, Santa chocolate , DVD, new mug & lots of hot chocolate to go in it.
• Big kit. Bikes, scooters and so on
• A shared big ticket present - like a trampoline for the garden.

FWIW, my daughter was delighted when one birthday she got a new cabin bed. I dressed up the present by making bunting, she helped me make some new cushions, I got her some transfer stickers and a fluffy rug to make the underneath bit into a den - she loved it - and it certainly had impact.

I'm trying it again this year: DS1 and DS2 will be getting bunk beds for Christmas as their main present.

Santa has in the past also bought swimming lessons and climbing lessons. You have to go a bit Blue Peter with the presentation to make it feel like a gift - but they did like it - and I liked taking them.

If you can afford it, riding lessons would be a fabulous present. DD had a set of 8 riding lessons for her 7th birthday, and asked for the same thing for her 8th. Even better, when you discover that they absolutely love riding, and it becomes a regular thing, you will never have another question about what to buy for christmas as they will want their own riding boots, hat, gloves, jodphurs . . . of course, you won't have any money left by then anyway so it will all be a moot point

Alternatively, if you are in London & riding is astronomically expensive, what about skating / fencing / climbing wall sessions - similarly you might spark off a lifelong hobby, you never know.

It's drastic to give them nothing and they will probably not deal with it that well. I suspect you might cave at the last minute and rush out to buy a load of tat!

I think the real question is why they have so much stuff now. Do they genuinely only get toys for Xmas and birthdays, or do you buy them all the time? It might be a good idea to monitor this more closely and certainly from September time, anything non essential they express an interest in should be put on a Xmas list.

I've already told mine (10, 8 & 5) that we're not buying them Christmas presents - they'll get them from extended family - but we'll replace our TV instead. Seems to have been accepted.

I will do them a little stocking each - but strictly useful bits and bobs and not more crap that they never tidy up.

YANBU

My way around this to get the relatives to stop turning up with black sacks full of stuff, and get them to buy swimming lessons, dancing etc etc. This year they are chipping in for a Ipad for both DCs. That way I can buy my own children a gift without it being totally overwhelmed in the mountain of crap from everyone else.

Why not get them stuff that is consumed (sweets, science experiment, plants to grow, bath bombs,) or a nice activity such as a show or bowling. Also books, CDs and DVDs not quite as annoying as plastic stuff. I hate the plastic tat too and try to keep what we get for our two relatively small as they have so much from other family. Mine are younger that yours (3 and 18 months) so not as aware of who got what for them...

But that kind of mentality - the one that says 'what I have is not good enough now so I'll sell it and get a new thing' is precisely what I'm trying to kick back against.