To consider giving our DC absolutely nothing for Christmas

[dramatrauma]

So this week DH asks, what do you think we should get the DC - ages 5 & 8 -for Christmas. (He likes to budget and plan ahead, the sensible man.) He says this just after I have had a good clean-out of the kids' toys, books and games. And you know what? I cannot think of one single thing they need. Or would really play with more than what they already own.

We are not wealthy, and I don't think the kids have overmuch stuff compared to their friends. But birthdays and Christmases and aunties and uncles and grandparents all pile it up. There's enough Lego in this house to build a small city, and furnish it. There are Barbies, Polly Pockets, card games, board games, art supplies, and enough books and DVDs to start a library. They have bicycles and scooters and footballs and dress-up clothes.

I am sick of having all this STUFF. And you know what it's like, there's always little bits of toys/games piling up somewhere, on a bedside table, on a desk, under the bed. I'm forever picking up something and thinking, now what did that belong with originally?

I really don't want to buy them any more stuff. And I don't want other people to give it to them either. AIBU? Or miserable?

YANBU. Take then for a da out or weekend away instead. One that's planned around what they would like. London's science museum and rainforest cafe make a good combination.

I don't think you ABU at all. I was thinking the exact same thing. Plus we are going skiing for Christmas and if that isn't a massive present already then I don't know what is. I will be getting them stockings only this year.

YABU (sorry!) but when did children ever need toys?

They don't - but it's all part of being a kid and Xmas is a time that you will look back on and remember fondly when they opened their presents on Xmas day.

I do know exactly what you mean though as we lived in a very small house when the DC were that age. The amount of stuff they have just mounts up and seems to take over the house. I used to always give quite a lot of stuff away before each Xmas - just to try and keep on top of things.

Perhaps try and steer them towards things that don't have lots of little bits and pieces that get everywhere.

YANBU at all.

I hate the fact that we (as a society) buy things for the sake of buying things especially if children have large and generous families.

I would suggest buying an experience eg. family day out/ or series of lessons (horse riding/sailing etc.) or simply saving it for the future. University is going to be so expensive and most children would benefit more in the long run from the funds to do that than yet more plastic tat when they were 8.

Rhinestonecowgirl that is exactly it. I feel like I'm on a giant consumer treadmill and I want off. Clear out their old stuff, and reorganise what's left, to make room for new stuff. Stuff they won't appreciate any more than their old stuff. (That is to say, they like the stuff they have. They just don't need more.)

I like the ideas of days out and lessons and similar. Although they'll still be annoyed about nothing under the tree. I could also do away with the tree, of course. But somehow that seems a step too far! I kinda like the tree.

I am being a miserable sod. I realise this. But the thought of buying and storing more toys, just because a year has passed since last Christmas and I must... it just depresses me.

OP - you don't have to get them lots of things for Xmas - just get them one main present each.

I'm sensing you don't like Xmas very much

YABU
get them to go through their toys deciding which to give to charity to help others (animal charity? or poor children? catch their heartstrings) and be firm, make them lose anything not played with or sentimental. Let their relatives buy them gifts, you do stockings (minimal - no big gifts) and a tree present. Tree present can be some nice books, or clothes, or art supplies or something wholesome. It doesn't have to be generic plastic shit. But don't stop them from having christmas presents :( That's so scroogy.

Sorry x-posts to goddess and lurker. I suspect telling them I've put the money into a savings account for uni won't go down well. But a splashy day out, or horse riding lessons (where does one do that in London?) they would love. And goddess, a ski trip is a really great present. They're v lucky to get stockings on top of that!

Do they believe in Santa?

I kind of see where you're coming from. I do a Father Christmas present/stocking and something from me. But as I'm a LP, it's all from me and I end up trying to top my own present, IYSWIM. It does all seem pointless sometimes but I love Christmas so couldn't consider not doing anything.

I agree about giving them an experience or something useful. A CD player and audio books? Art stuff to share?

You know what, I really love Christmas. I love baking cookies with them, and having a big meal, and visiting all the relatives, and taking them to see the shop windows and lights - I love all that. But they don't need nice books, or clothes, and if they get any more art supplies I will scream. There is nothing nothing nothing that these kids need. There is, to be honest, nothing they will play with and enjoy more than what they have right now.

Maybe by Christmas 2012 it will be different, and they will have moved on in their interests, and outgrown their clothes, and read all their books.

YABU

They will remember the year they didnt get any presents for all the wrong reasons.

Howling they do believe in Santa. Well, they do now. I guess a no-presents policy would put a quick end to that one!

Go for the experience then. How about a whole day out, where they can choose where to eat lunch, what to do, where to go? You could do the pretend voucher thing.

DD had her room decorated for her birthday .

Mine will be three and four by Christmas
I have the 'piles of stuff' problem here too. This year the dc will still have the same pile of presents to open, but there will be more consumables that wont stuff up the house!
clothes, character ones they go mad for
tickets to go somewhere, I tie a safari park ticket to a cuddly toy to make it into a present
Dvds come with a bag of popcorn to make it look more to them
Character plates, cups cuttlery etc
A bag for school
I make lots of food treats for them too to fill out the stockings.
Craft things are always in use so replenishing crayons etc
A new outfit to wear christmas day
New Pjs & Slippers xmas eve
Comic for stocking
Books, Dont kids always need books as they improve their reading all the time?

The pile looks decent to the DC but theres not much to clutter up the place and largly what Id have bought anyway!

I do know what you mean but the reality of an empty tree on Christmas morning is just too sad to contemplate. I feel the same, it's tat for tats sake. I don't mind when ds needs something, like his wii or ds, but just buying crap to bulk out the tree is stupid.

This year, as there are lots of cousins, my sisters and I have decided not to buy for each others kids, and we will go out as a large group to the panto/ballet and ice skating then dinner. The happiest memories from our childhood were of grandparents taking us to the Circus at chirstmas and then out to a posh restaurant. We felt very grown up. I think that at least cuts down on the amount of plastic they get, and dh and I will buy just for our own ds.

DD had her room decorated for her birthday
I did that for DD2 [15] last year but birthday and christmas DH thought it was tight but she had everything including a nice lamp, rug and soft furnishings she was overjoyed about it. [she had a nice stocking for christmas]

they don't need nice books

Since when do people not need nice books? I mean, really, do they have every book ever? Or every book they might ever want to read? I don't get that

But then I am the sort of person who believes you never have enough books and buying books isn't like buying stuff...

Buy the 8 year old a Wii and the 5 year old a DS.

Would the 5 year old not use a Leapster Leap pad? It is educational and 4-9 years so would have years of use out of it. Also its small but nice enough to get away with being a main present if you just buy them one each?

If you are not going to get presents for them, or allow relatives to buy for them, then you should tell them Santa does not exist or they will just think they have been too naughty this year.

YABU. The problem is not Christmas, it's too much extravagance the rest of the year round.

YANBU - I have been thinking the same thing.

A significant percentage of my day is spent managing STUFF, time that I could spend doing something nice with dc. It certainly doesn't make me happy - it is a source of stress and shouting - and I'm not sure it really makes them happy (long term, after the initial buzz) either. A day out cycling or camping results in happier, better behaved children IMO. They can't see what they have got and there is too much focus on what they will get next.

I agree Christmas is partly about the presents, mostly about them for children. But it must be possible to shift the emphasis a bit...surely?

And what a mad world we live in where we are counselled to have a big clear out of perfectly good toys so we can buy MORE?!

Exactly borders, she had a new lamp and the bed linen she coveted and all sorts. She has 3 sets of grandparents, two parents who give separately, a host of aunts and uncles and a huge party, all of which brought a squillion gifts). And I still bought other stuff mug.

How about a really cool sledge for them to share OP?

The big piles of stuff won't last for ever. They'll be teenagers before you know it and you'll be spending a fortune on what looks like a pathetic little amount when they are into computer games & music.

borderslass that's a great idea for a teenager. The main thing is that she was overjoyed. DS1 has had flying lessons as birthday & xmas presents once he was old enough.

I love buying stuff for the sake of it.

Best sort of buying IMO

Buy them a pony.

I was going to do DS's new room for Christmas. I always buy them far to much stuff then spend a year trying to fit it in. BUt I dont buy stuff during the year and I always get bargains. but they DO have too much crap.

I doubt I will ever change though.