Actually, Mary, I think your material is quite strong. (I'm married to a professional comedian, and I run a small comedy booking agency with him too. I probably wouldn't even make you take The Girl Spot if I booked you. ;D)
But, admittedly, your material is also not very much to my personal taste, and I think your delivery could be better. Comedy is very subjective though, so you can't go just by my personal tastes. You're jumping quite quickly between ranty and deadpan, and it can get to be a little bit overwhelming and your timing seems...off in places. (I don't know how many times you'd done that set though, if it was new material it could be why...) Deadpan is a tricky style to pull off, and can easily become dry and boring.
My only question would be-why was this gig only taped in audio? I'm not casting aspersions, but bigger booking agents would wonder slightly if laughter that rythmic and polite were perhaps...added in after the fact? And without video, one can't prove that one's gags are really landing. I'd advise doing that set at a new material night, for free, and having someone video you. :)
Were you at the Fringe this year?
Are you on Chortle or UKCF?
(Rosemary, I had to laugh at your comment! It's true Mary, folks rarely use "comedianne" much anymore, and it can come across as kind of...prim. If "comedian" feels too male, try the term "comic". :D)
Just some thoughts from someone who sees A Freakin' Lot of new acts.