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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish there was somewhere that boys could just be boys.

270 replies

Teapotqueen · 13/10/2011 21:15

My DS is just starting Beavers (a younger version of cubs) and it has dawned on me that today there is nowhere where a boy can just be a boy without having girls around to think about. Rainbows, Brownies and Guides are girls only. Everything else is mixed sexes, football, scouts, all school clubs. Why is it wrong in the modern world for boys to be with just boys. Just a thought.

OP posts:
Blu · 13/10/2011 21:26

DownBy..if you are equating boys stuff with dirt and risk, and the presence of girls does not preclude this, what is the problem?

Girls, more than ever, IMO, need access to dirt and risk as leisure options! (I am a mother of a boy, no girls)

MillyR · 13/10/2011 21:26

The Scouts, cubs etc let in girls nationally because their numbers were down and some groups would have had to close otherwise. Numbers are now back up but I suppose they would feel it was a bit harsh to now kick all the girls back out.

Guides and Brownies have always had too many applicants for places compared to the number of people prepared to lead, so they never had a need to let in boys.

DownbytheRiverside · 13/10/2011 21:27

'Are there lots of boys clambering to join the Rainbows?'

No because many of the activities and choices offered don't appeal to them.
If both lots of groups were mixed sex, I'd be less irritated at the unfairness.

LucaBrasi · 13/10/2011 21:27

Hulababy
Not where I live. Or at least, there are no girls in Beavers/Cubs/Scouts

Nevertooearlyforcake · 13/10/2011 21:27

Does being a girl automatically mean no risk taking and a fear of dirt? Only if you bring your DD up to be a princess and your DD to be Wayne Rooney

Nevertooearlyforcake · 13/10/2011 21:28

Does being a girl automatically mean no risk taking and a fear of dirt? Only if you bring your DD up to be a princess and your DS to be Wayne Rooney

cory · 13/10/2011 21:29

These very feminine girls who don't need to let off steam and can't get dirty or take risks seem to be a modern breed: I don't remember any of them around in my childhood.

LucaBrasi · 13/10/2011 21:30

Actually, Boys are too much boys and girls are too much girls with the pink and blue polarity shit. Get them mixing more!

TimeWasting · 13/10/2011 21:31

DBTR, of they don't want to join, the unmixed state isn't unfair on the boys is it?
It does reflect on boys and societies perception of 'girl' activities though.

Hulababy · 13/10/2011 21:31

It is their national policy to know allow girls in them.

Our local beavers and Cubs don't currently have any girls in them though - I looked when DD was interested. In the end she joined Brownies anyway. I know that lots in the area do have girls in though.

taokiddy · 13/10/2011 21:31

OP, I agree with you!
I have girls and boys but yes I think its really important for boys to have boy time and girls to have girlie time :)

NormaSatansFelcher · 13/10/2011 21:31

I don't get your problem with girls being there.

What is the prob?

Hulababy · 13/10/2011 21:31

now not know

TheFallenMadonna · 13/10/2011 21:31

Has scouting actually changed then, with the girls? DH helps at scouts. He does all the things that he did when he was younger. And DS and DD do far more than I did as a Brownie.

teacherwith2kids · 13/10/2011 21:31

Scaredbear, actually, no - Rainbows, Brownies and Guides ARE girls only.

DD - who was a Rainbow, but is now a very happy Cub (one of 2 girls in a 24 child pack) has a friend who is a very gentle, feminine boy who would really like to join the Brownies. He can't. they don't admit boys.

Football ... football gets very un-mixed from a very young age. Even if you find a 'Saturday club' that takes girls at the very youngest age, by the time they start formal leagues (Under 9s) gorls are not allowedd in the boys teams and vice versa.

DS - 10 year olf footballer, Scout, all round sports enthusiast and jazz clarinetist - has girls in every part of his life except football, but I only know this from actually observing him doing these activities. From the way he talks, you would not believe that there are more girls than boys in his class at school, that he shares clarinet lessons with a girl oir that there are any girls at Scouts. Having girls around just doesn't bother him - ad is not important to him - in the slightest.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 13/10/2011 21:31

No, the Guiding movement doesn't admit boys as members (I'm a Brownie guider). The organisation was set up to provide opportunities for girls and has stuck with that for 100 years. As I understand it, girls didn't gatecrash Scouting - Scouting decided to admit girls because their numbers of young members and adult volunteers were dwindling and without girls and women volunteers they would have struggled to keep going.

BorderBinLiner · 13/10/2011 21:32

Honestly, it's not a gender thing really is it, it's a personality thing.

If you like team games, running around but not hugely competitive with a ethical backbone then the scout movement is great.

If you like running around, hate teams and have to win then may be athletics is for you.

Team uniform, group showers, shouting and kicking a ball at some point try football.....

Lying on a sofa reading the Booker long list - that'll be me then.

BelleEnd · 13/10/2011 21:32

I have two sons and I don't get this at all. And if I had daughters I wouldn't send them to single-sex social groups either. It's weird.

NormaSatansFelcher · 13/10/2011 21:32

The male toilets. They can have boy time there.

Apart from when my DD is in them because she is being taken to the toilet by DH or DS

watfordmummy · 13/10/2011 21:32

I think you are all missing the point, no one (not me certainly) is saying that girls can't or shouldn't do the same as boys, its just there are still places girls CAN go if they don't want to be with boys. We are all so keen to ensure girls get the same opportunities as boys, why can't boys have the same opportunities as girls and not be thought of soft if they would like to sew or learn things that obviously we should expect neither our daughters or sons to learn!

WibblyBibble · 13/10/2011 21:33

Honestly if your kids are feeling they 'have to think about girls' just because some people without willies are present, then they have much bigger problems relating to premature sexualisation and upbringing than anything the scouts will do to them.

DownbytheRiverside · 13/10/2011 21:33

I have one of each, DS loves being a scout, DD hated being a Brownie/guide and dropped out because they weren't into exploring, tree-climbing and making things. The three girlie evenings in a row of braiding, makeovers and designing T shirts finished her off at 11.
So I have no problems at all with ignoring activities related to gender and I'm bothered that there is such a discrepancy in many areas so that girls join scouts because guides doesn't challenge their sense of adventure.

TheFallenMadonna · 13/10/2011 21:34

Well, if that is the point then yes, I was missing it. Because the OP didn;t talk about just being with boys. She talked about being a boy, and implied that couldn't happen with girls there. And that I disagree with.

mychildrenarebarmy · 13/10/2011 21:34

I'm with you OP. It's nothing to do with wanting to keep girls out of things or thinking that having girls there makes it less likely that dirt/risk etc will be involved. For me it's the fact that I think it's great sometimes to be able to have a space/time to just be with a group of the same gender. I have a DD and a DS and they are both happy in a group of boys/girls or mixed but there is still something about the idea of them being able to be in a one gender group that appeals.

Teapotqueen · 13/10/2011 21:34

Boys Brigade is a partly religious organisation and so not my thing. Although only 6 I think that boys do behave differently when girls are around.Also this will happen more and more as they get older. Why do you all feel threatened by boys having their own clubs?

OP posts:
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