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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that brides that go on about my day, its all about me and I am a princess abu?

169 replies

lesley33 · 13/10/2011 08:37

I understand that all brides want to look beautiful at their wedding and want their wedding to be a special day. But a wedding is about 2 people making a public commitment together. It feels like some brides almost forget the groom in their wish to be a princess for the day. A wedding isn't a walt disney production ffs, it is about both the bride and groom coming together.

OP posts:

Booooooyhoo · 13/10/2011 10:13

IF i ever get married, it will be for the sole purpose of having one day where I was the centre of attention, wearing the most beautiful dress ever created, in the most stunning venue with the most delicious food my (huge number of) guests had ever tasted. of course my groom would look half decent that day aswell

I'm not religious and if i got to a point where i was happy to marry someone, it wouldn't be to make a commitment because we would already be commited to each other if we'd got that far so it really truly honestly would be just for the biggest party of my life. i have no problem telling people that. i say good luck to whoever decides they want to marry me and start playing the lottery

loveglove · 13/10/2011 10:14

venetia

What is the point in spending £2000 on something you will wear once? I honestly do not see the point. Especially if you don't have that kind of money to spend but you do anyway.

Original poster

lesley33 · 13/10/2011 10:19

Venetia - Yes some people are just boring. But it was her attitude of wanting to be a princess and never mentioning the groom that I found weird in a late 20's/early 30's woman.

OP posts:

BettyCash · 13/10/2011 10:21

YANBU! That's what birthdays are for...

SardineQueen · 13/10/2011 10:22

If your parents are paying for the wedding and your mum wants you to wear an expensive dress and she can well afford it, and you are happy to wear it....Well why not.

If you want to wear an expensive dress and can well afford it, then why not.

People spend more than they need to on things all the time - it's up to them. If it makes someone happy, then why not.

VenetiaLanyon · 13/10/2011 10:22

If you don't have that kind of money, then I agree that it's daft, but if you do, then why not?

My dress was chosen because it suited me the best, not because of how much it cost. I tried on ones that were cheaper and ones that were more expensive, and can afford the one I chose; is there really anything wrong with that?

SardineQueen · 13/10/2011 10:22

That post was in answer to loveglove BTW

Icelollycraving · 13/10/2011 10:22

What grates me more are the competitive 'we spent £5 & it was the best wedding ever'. A wedding is hopefully the very time to have what you want,to spend what you want & for people to be happy for you. If a bride gets her dress for £50,good for her but I don't like when people put down others choices for splashing the cash. As long as you don't have to pay for it,does it really bother you? Seriously?

VenetiaLanyon · 13/10/2011 10:23

X-post Sardine Queen

slavetofilofax · 13/10/2011 10:27

Agree with Icelolly.

I think it's really horrible, and very distasteful when people imply that just because a lot of money was spent on a wedding then the couple aren't really in love and are destined for divorce in a year. Like the only worthy weddings with committed happy couples are those that are done on a budget.

It's simply not true.

Fecklessdizzy · 13/10/2011 10:28

Ffnarr, ffnarr ... I'm all for the coming together! ( dirty bitch emoticon )

I definitely reckon there's a link between the amount of Bridezilla-eryness and length of time 'til the acrimonious parting of the ways ... My cousin's been married four times and each one has been more blingy and ridiculous than the last!

ShriekingLisa · 13/10/2011 10:33

Hmm i loved my wedding day and it was a wedding on a budget.

I dont think there is any need what so ever to spend over £1300-£1500 for a wedding. Its daft.

SardineQueen · 13/10/2011 10:35

Feckless how long do you give william and kate then

Booooooyhoo · 13/10/2011 10:39

"I dont think there is any need what so ever to spend over £1300-£1500 for a wedding. Its daft."

do you only ever buy things you need then? dont you ever buy something that you want?

slavetofilofax · 13/10/2011 10:39

Lisa, that's great that you loved your wedding just as it was, but just because it was done on a small budget dosn't make it any better or more worthy that a wedding that cost thrity grand.

You think there is no need to spend more than £1500 on a wedding, and that to do so is daft, but that's your opinion. If I said I think it's daft to only spend £1500 on a wedding, people would rightly tell me how insulting and out of order I was being, and it's out of order and insulting when it is said the other way round too.

We spent way more than that, and I'm sure I love my husband, and loved my wedding, as much as you do yours.

rubyrubyruby · 13/10/2011 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SardineQueen · 13/10/2011 10:40

You don't need to spend any more than the £50 or whatever the registrar charges.

Laquitar · 13/10/2011 10:42

Tbh i feel the same about any event when people plan it long in advance and talk non stop about it, some people even do it with the Christmas lunch or even a night out.

Big weddings - if they 've got the money its up to them but i agree it is a bit odd for a grown up woman to want to be 'a princes'.

I think we had the big weddings and then modest ones and then in the last few years the very big weddings and words like 'princess for a day', 'dream wedding' etc. So maybe people do it because they need the escapism?

Clarabumps · 13/10/2011 10:43

YANBU- i'm always amazed at how rather normal women turn into bridal nutters!
My friend is still blabbing on about her wedding...she had around 4 hen-do pre wedding nights out..
she kept going on about the "big reveal" when everyone sees her dress for the first time.
All she spoke about was wedding..for nearly two years and she hasn't stopped.

I really get that is was her big day but COME ON- two years of the same conversation ffs!!
I don't really care how much is spent on a wedding as everyone is really trying to have a wedding that is really different and tbh most weddings are all the same. Bride groom meal dancing..I do love weddings but I cannot stand Bridezillas!

Hammy02 · 13/10/2011 10:43

sardinequeen exactly. I never understand why people say they can't afford to get married. Anything over and above the signing of the bit of paper is up to the B&G. I do think people are bonkers to get into even a pound of debt for a wedding. I spent about £7,000 on mine but had the cash to do so.

Fecklessdizzy · 13/10/2011 10:56

Sardinequeen Look what happened to Charles and Di ... ( Hoists bosom in doom-laden manner )

Personally all this Sparkly-Princess-Merangue tosh is not for me ( probably why DP and Self have the worlds longest engagement ever ... Poor bugger proposed in 1986! ) but if you have the cash and want a big bells-and-whistles do then why not? I love Mad Bridezilla Cousin's multipal marriage habit ... Any excuse for nice food and some fizz ... Although I am having increasing problems keeping track of Um, you know, Whatsisface, Husbandman ... Him in the hat, what's this one called?

diddl · 13/10/2011 10:57

I would just like to say that although it was my day, I didn´t go on about it & if I couldn´t find/afford exactly what I wanted I was happy to compromise.

But on the whole, I wanted what I wanted as far as possible iyswim-and as long as husband was OK with it.

The only thing he had no say about was my dress.

bunnyspoiler · 13/10/2011 11:00

I couldn't give a toss how much or little someone spends but those who blether on about the bloody thing for 2 years plus are boring and self obsessed. YANBU

rubyrubyruby · 13/10/2011 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 13/10/2011 11:04

It is repulsive.

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