to want to stay at home this christmas and cook for my family instead of going to in laws?

[mrsm123]

is this a common dilema? does anyone have the guts to say "love you all to bits but we want to stay at home this year - see ya!" tee hee.

I think it's fine to do if you give lots of notice and it's out of the norm, and if you are upfront and honest about your reasons, just don't make up lame excuses

Yes, we have and we do! That's the benefit of having a DS born near Xmas - first year was a perfect excuse not to invite anyone/go visiting and we have managed to keep up the tradition

I want to stay home. Unfortunately everyone wants to join me

I'm thinking of doing exactly that this year, except with my family, not dh's. We just have to try and decide which we would prefer to do first, but if we decide we want to stay home, I will have no hesitation in telling my Mum. She's fab though, she would totally understand.

i know. i wouldnt even mind having them here, theyre nice people, i just want to start staying at home now and start building our own traditions. id like to have them this year, mines the next and so on. my oldest kid particularly wants to stay at home too. i think the kids would love it. they just want to be with their new stuff anyway. well see. will be interesting to see what others think.

yanbu. I've never had a whole day at home for Xmas since I've been about 14. Would be lovely to just stay in cosy clothes and be able to have a drink.

My dh and I had one of our biggest arguments ever on this subject last year! Eventually we came up with a solution (one year we visit my parents, next year we visit his parents, third year we host both sets) that everyone seems reasonably happy with. I'd prefer to host every year and I can't see why my MIL is so desperate to keep cooking Xmas dinner after doing it for so many years

Once I had DCs I stayed at home-much easier. They come to me. Just announce it.

what do your husbands say? mines doesnt get the whole idea that i want to potter about OUR kitchen, cooking (and drinking) and creating a lovely atmosphere for OUR kids etc. hes a great hubby by the way but hes a bit of a mummys boy too so i know he def wont want to let his mum down. thats why im well prepared with the response "wed love you to come to ours though!!"

hes on couch i better not look too engrossed in this thread.

Just say you are having a quiet christmas and say next year you will join them again. Tell them early.

good advice. ill "announce" it in the next week and invite them over. they cant really argue with that.

Always a tricky one. We went to my folks last Christmas but it was a white knuckle drive of terror over icy roads. Might buy a back-up Marksies freezer dinner just in case...

he just asked what writing about! em.... shopping?

so what you doing this year angelico? do you take it in turns too?

YANBU. Perfectly ok to say you want to stay at home. I'd rather do that personally, can't be fagged to go to someone elses house. I find the whole day far more relaxing spent in my own surroundings even if it does mean cooking xmas dinner which is a moot point as dh cooks it anyway

Last year there was thick snow, my parents and my sister couldn't get their cars out. I'm afraid to say, much as I lovey family, it was bliss

Love my

filofax - my mum would be cool with it too. shed prob rather be a guest! but MIL is a mother hen type, but thats a whole other thread and prob too late for that discussion.

night for now folks.

It took us 13 years to get christmas at home! and then we spent the whole day fighting
I used to invite the whole family (10-20 people) for lunch, just so that the DCs could be at home with their presents!

We always have Christmas day at home. It's relaxing, cosy, hassle free and means we don't have to watch all the crap on tv some of our relatives 'have' to see at Christmas. It means we can sit around in our pjs for hours on Christmas morning . It means we don't have to drag the DC away from their presents as soon as they've opened them. It means we can both get tiddly without having to worry about who's going to drive home. It means our home is full of lovely Christmassy memories and traditions which we've created. Ooh I could go on and on and on!

We see relatives on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day but Christmas day is for 'us'.

I was thinking the same thing the other day. I broached it with DP, but he doesn't think it's Christmas unless he's with his family. We don't have space for everyone here. I remember saying last year that I wish we'd just been at home. In fact, I preferred the year before when he was ill and we HAD to stay home until the evening. I just want to spend the day playing with the children and burning a turkey.

We have to have Christmas with my MIL every year as she has no other family, our flat is too small for her to come here and she can't go to my parents house as she won't leave her revolting dog in kennels. I find it depressing.

That's without the annual bout of food poisoning from her cooking, her giving me sex toys as a gift to unwrap in front of random guests to her house that I have never met, and having to listen to her traditional call to DH's ex wife to wish her a veeeery happy Christmas and don't even get me started on the state of her house - she feeds the cats in the bath etc etc. I am not making ANY of this up.

Will Father Christmas send some v heavy snow my way...

What traditions of your owndo you want to make? And are they better than spending time with family who love your kids?

Sprinkly santa dust?

We've never spent christmas with either set of GPs. We shut the front door christmas eve and open it again when we want to some time between boxing day and new years eve. It's the only time of year that we spend just us and the children without anybody having to be anywhere else ie clubs or work.