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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if you can deliver and collect your children from school...

115 replies

NoseyNooNoo · 11/10/2011 22:53

I have ended up class rep this year (how did that happen?) so I am now lumbered with trying to persuade parents to volunteer for about 50 sessions helping out at school this year. I fully appreciate that there are few mums who have no job and no children at home and to be honest it's no skin off my nose if the sessions aren't filled but what is getting my goat is the number of women who have said 'Don't you realise some of us work some full time?' in a some what patronising tone.

AIBU to be annoyed by this because a) I do actually have a job myself but as I am self-employed this in not necessarily evident and b) if they are there at 9am and 3pm it is unlikely that they work full-time either.

Thanks for letting me off load!

OP posts:
Hungrydragon · 11/10/2011 22:56

UANBU to be annoyed if they are taking that attitude, I volunteered more when I was working. Now I have dd at homes its pretty much impossible.

It's not right to judge people, but they are assuming something about you that's unfair, why are you supposed to know what they do with their day.

squeakytoy · 11/10/2011 22:57
serin · 11/10/2011 22:58

Heehee, it's been a while since we had this fight!

Hungrydragon · 11/10/2011 23:02

I liked this op though, she's covered the bases so no one needs to have and argument over what amazing things these people are doing with their time, and the trials of woh.

I think she's entitled to a rant

squeakytoy · 11/10/2011 23:04

Hmm ouch! Grin

RedOnion · 11/10/2011 23:05

Is it some kind of personal smug thing to do that ever so repetitive "sits back/popcorn/hands OP hard hat" bullshit. Does it somehow make you seem like a "real" member of the club? Or is it just a way of trying to come across as just a tad superior?

JockTamsonsBairns · 11/10/2011 23:05

I'm moments away from signing up for a two-year stint as chair of the PTA (nervously and reluctantly). I'll keep my eyes on this thread, as I'm not totally sure what I'm going into...

Trills · 11/10/2011 23:06

Please fully articulate your "Am I Being Unreasonable to think...?" so that we can judge accordingly.

TheFidgetySheep · 11/10/2011 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DogsBeastFiend · 11/10/2011 23:12

Y are BU to be annoyed. It;s not for you to judge how other adults spend their time or to know the full extent of their other commitments and responsibilities or for that matter to decide whether they should want to spend their time helping out with children.

I for one wouldn't. I do plenty of voluntary work but I'm not fond of other people's DC but that's of my choice and in a different environment.

Backinthebox · 11/10/2011 23:12

OK, I'll bite. I've been made to feel 1cm high this term because I wouldn't do a 3hr parent helper session at Pre-school.

I am recovering from a broken leg, and can't manage to stand for long periods of time, have a full time job that takes me abroad regularly, work shifts and weekends, and am in the throes of a huge house overhaul project that will hopefully eventually see a room for my 13mo son so that I can finally get him into his own space and get a much-needed full night's sleep.

I often have to make a superhuman effort to make sure I can be there at the right times for my children. The fact that I can drop off and pick up from pre-school doesn't necessarily mean I don't work full time or have time to volunteer for extra duties. I'm not completely oblivious to the fact that things just wouldn't work without volunteers, but I already give my time half a day a week to another children's organisation my children attend. I've also given several days to the pre-school to bring in various animals, and have offered to go and talk about my fairly unusual job.

I feel I do my bit for the children of the local area without the local parent rep giving me more grief and a guilt trip over me not doing what she wants me to do!

Hungrydragon · 11/10/2011 23:16

RedOnion...this isn't a MN smug thing, it seems to be a regular "issue", "volunteering at school who should and who shouldn't", I think it was more a nod to the op for being brave than insult.

Hopefully she can have a rant though. I know I did when I declined to volunteer for school events. Turns out having two sick parents, a husband overseas and a baby are not an excuse as I am a SAHM. Hmm It was then suggested I could get childcare for a couple of hours. Hmm Hmm
But honestly I'm not bitter Grin

BridgetBust · 11/10/2011 23:16

OP - can't you do the 50 sessions yourself?

Hungrydragon · 11/10/2011 23:19

DBF

In fairness she hadn't judged. She has been the victim of aggressive pre-emptive defence Grin

She is judging now, but laying it before Mnet.

MollieO · 11/10/2011 23:20

Thank heavens that ds is at a school where parents aren't asked or allowed to volunteer.

DogsBeastFiend · 11/10/2011 23:21

Hmmm.. my last sentence made no sense whatsoever. Oh beggar, I know what I meant!

worraliberty · 11/10/2011 23:21

I've never heard of a class rep before or filling positions in this way...is it to save money on TAs?

Our school asks as and when needed and even then you have to be CRB checked...which is fecking stupid anyway.

HoHoLaughingMonster · 11/10/2011 23:21

Wow I don't envy you that task.

Why does your school need helpers anyway? Are they short staffed?

Hungrydragon · 11/10/2011 23:22

I know what you meant too DBF, but that's still no reassurance you made sense Wink

lovingthecoast · 11/10/2011 23:22

I teach p/t! The very last thing I want to do on the other days is help out at school. No thank you!

DogsBeastFiend · 11/10/2011 23:22

True, Hungrydragon, apologies for that.

DogsBeastFiend · 11/10/2011 23:23

Hungry, my apologies had best be offered for BOTH of my last posts! :o

Original poster
NoseyNooNoo · 11/10/2011 23:56

Just to clarify, I really don't care if the sessions are filled or not. I have not been going around bullying anyone into doing it. I just asked the teacher to put a note in the bookbags for the parents (something she could have done herself anyway). It is no skin off my nose if the slots are filled. Some people like to volunteer, others don't - horses for courses.

I'm cheesed off that I have had a number sneering at me with their ' 'Don't you realise some of us work full time' in a way that implies that I sit at home picking my nose all day whilst they are frightfully important working. If they are at school at 9am and 3pm it is unlikely that they work full time anyway. I don't why they can't just not comment or say, 'No thanks, that's not for me'.

This isn't a thread about whether full-time working mums or SAHM are superior, especially since I don't really fit in either camp.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 12/10/2011 00:01

I don't think that's what they're implying. I'm sure they have no idea what you do all day and they probably care even less.

I think what they're saying is, they work during the school day and therefore they can't volunteer.

But you're right, all they need to say is "Sorry I can't do it, I'll be at work/busy"

LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 12/10/2011 00:22

Well I deliver and collect every day except Friday when I work all afternoon/evening and I classify myself as working full time. I work through my lunch most days in orderto be able to do it.

I work 9am - 3pm Monday - Thursday, 10am - 8.00pm Friday and 9.00am - 2.00pn Satuday. By my reckoning that is full time.