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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that falling in your plate is not on at lunch?

487 replies

Hullygully · 10/10/2011 11:51

So, Sunday lunch at a friend's yesterday. A couple that we know slightly are also invited. The woman who is very bright and very pleasant for the first hour, drinks so much that she is literally unable to speak (but doesn't stop trying), and we all carry on with lunch pretending that everything is normal and not laughing where she can see.

Is this normal? In any way?

OP posts:
OchAyeTheNooPal · 10/10/2011 11:53

no not normal. What did her partner do?

slavetofilofax · 10/10/2011 11:53

No it's not normal. Which makes it unkind to laugh behind her back.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/10/2011 11:54

LOL! Not normal, but very entertaining for everyone except the poor partner. I know... I have been that partner. Blush

seeker · 10/10/2011 11:54

Hysterically funny Hmm

ClarenceDarrow · 10/10/2011 11:55

Alcoholism....so hilarious! Hmm

CroissantNeuf · 10/10/2011 11:55

Falling in your plate at lunch is not on...not unless you are a 1/2 yr old who is due an afternoon nap!

Does she regularly drink that much?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/10/2011 11:55

Was the food very hot? If so, did some kind person remove her face from it?

Booooooyhoo · 10/10/2011 11:56

you all sat there laughing behind her back? what did her partner say to you all?

Twattingcuntybollocks · 10/10/2011 11:56

It's not normal,but I wonder if she was nervous and drank on an empty stomach, or maybe she is an alcoholic.
Bit Sad that she was laughed at about it though.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/10/2011 11:58

Of course it's funny watching someone get steadily sloshed... in that OMG how embarassing, slightly hysterical, where can we look sort of way. What should they have done? Pick her out of the dessert and call AA?

CamperFan · 10/10/2011 11:58

I don't think it's "entertaining at all" - very awkward at a small gathering, especially at lunchtime. Perhaps she hasn't drunk for a long time. Although if that were the case then you'd think her partner would have said something.

CamperFan · 10/10/2011 11:59

I disagree cogito actually. If it's one of your friends and you're all drinking together, but a relative stranger at a lunch? Just embarrassing and a bit Sad

VampiresWearBlackVelvet · 10/10/2011 12:00

I don't get from the OP that they were actually mocking this woman.

I can imagine that the laughing was really the awkwardness of the situation? In a kind of "OMG, I cannot believe how drunk she is" type of way?

squeakytoy · 10/10/2011 12:00

Not normal, but she probably completely misjudged her drinking, and is feeling mortified today..

VampiresWearBlackVelvet · 10/10/2011 12:01

Totally agree with Cogito.

VampiresWearBlackVelvet · 10/10/2011 12:02

who knows, maybe this woman woke up thinking she's had a whale of a time Grin

could do with getting face in lunch plate pissed myself

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:03

We were laughing at how bizarre it was, not at her, as such. Yes, she is famed for it, though not an alcoholic, and her partner is very sweet and holds her hand and pretends she's fine.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/10/2011 12:04

Having been the partner in that situation it is utterly mortifying for the partner and you make your excuses and get your drunk out of the lunch as quick as you can. The drunk doesn't give a shit either way and remembers nothing of the event the next morning. It is normal to get pitying looks and to hear stifled giggles as they close the door behind you on your way out....

manicbmc · 10/10/2011 12:06

She sounds like an alcoholic though, if she can't keep her drinking to a reasonable amount.

Xiaoxiong · 10/10/2011 12:06

Cogito I agree with you and the OP, I have laughed in a genuinely amused, slowly turning to nervous embarrassed laughter kind of way as a person has become increasingly drunk at a gathering. Laughter is usually the way people react when they are quite shocked and it's not really their place to say anything (as they only know the other couple very slightly according to the OP).

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:07

Cogito - he made no move to leave...in fact I left them there, despite my friend pleading with me to remain until the bitter end.

The funny part was how surreal it was, and the fact that we were all having a perfectly normal conversation, apart from when she joined in when it went, "I..........used............mumble mumble........then..." And we'd all try and guess at the gaps and the mumbles and answer appropriately.

OP posts:
GumballCharm · 10/10/2011 12:07

I have done similar...though not for a long time. It's because I simply can't hold my drink...after 3 I am literally smashed....if I have 5 or 6 then I'm stggering, talking crap and being sick.

I know not to drink through nerves now...maybe she's like me and got nervy.

CotherMuckingFunt · 10/10/2011 12:08

I'd have pissed myself laughing. Yes, there might be underlying problems but most probably she just drank too much. It happens.

If it was me I'd prefer to have people laugh about it than arrange counselling. That's for close friends/family, not nearly strangers.

Booooooyhoo · 10/10/2011 12:11

"she is famed for it, though not an alcoholic, "

i'm afraid regularly getting into that state does indicate an alcohol issue. and i know lots of posters will come on and say "in my teens i was in that state 4 nights a week" well so was I, but that doesn't mean i didn't have an alcohol issue at that time.

Bugsy2 · 10/10/2011 12:11

What great entertainment. Maybe she was caught out by lunchtime drinking. I get giddy just sniffing the stuff at lunchtime. Did she sober up at all before going home? Was she funny or just embarrassingly drunk? Did your host make any comment afterwards?