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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that falling in your plate is not on at lunch?

487 replies

Hullygully · 10/10/2011 11:51

So, Sunday lunch at a friend's yesterday. A couple that we know slightly are also invited. The woman who is very bright and very pleasant for the first hour, drinks so much that she is literally unable to speak (but doesn't stop trying), and we all carry on with lunch pretending that everything is normal and not laughing where she can see.

Is this normal? In any way?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/10/2011 12:13

The reaction of the woman's partner and the comment that she's 'well-known' for this kind of antic says she's got a well-established drink problem. Not caught out by lunchtime drinking and not drinking through nerves. Although it can't have been that well-known if the OP's friend invited them. Maybe they thought the stories were exaggerated? Drunk to the point of being incapable of speech is not 'giddy'... it takes effort.

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:14

Yes, I agree re alcohol issue, but not an alkie in the sense of having gin first thing in the morning (which is the standard I'm used to).

She wasn't funny, and it wasn't embarrassing - just weird. Weird, because it was unacknowledged. A great big drunk elephant in the room type thing.

The host is one of my best friends so we just rolled our eyes at each other as I left and said pore ol her, why on earth does she do it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:15

No, it is well-known, it's just kind of accepted as being part of them. Sometimes she goes over like a felled tree, but that's usually at parties.

OP posts:
manicbmc · 10/10/2011 12:16

You don't have to have super strength lager on your cornflakes to be an alcoholic.

I was married to a 'functional' alcoholic for 16 years. Pissed every night but able to hold down a job.

hairypotter · 10/10/2011 12:16

I used to work with someone who did this. Every night out she would get bladdered and fall asleep on the table. Always made sure there was no plate in the way first mind you. She would wake up after or hour or so then turn from sleepy drunk to nasty drunk and abuse everyone, from us, to the waiting staff and then rounded of with a mouthful to the poor sod taking her home (even if it was a taxi driver and not one of us)

Every single time.

Without fail.

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:17

hairy - it's odd isn't it? How it becomes expected and even accepted?

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 10/10/2011 12:20

Wow, she can't handle her ale can she? Very bad form to get pissed at a friend's Sunday lunch. And bad form for her partner not to do anything to stop her getting into such a state.

It's all very well saying that shouldn't laugh, of course you know you shouldn't laugh and whilst sitting here stone cold sober it's easy to say "I would NEVER laugh at someone who is clearly pissed" but in that atmosphere, at a Sunday lunch, trying to ignore the obvious elephant in the room, it's not so easy and I would have had a giggle at her expense too. Terrible I know but most people have sniggered at pissed up folks.

I'd have a word with her partner though, in all seriousness and possibly with her too. Next time video it and play it back to her. If she regularly gets pissed then she doesn't know when to stop and needs to learn, so perhaps if she is shown how embarrassing her behaviour is it might stop her.

hairypotter · 10/10/2011 12:23

Her partner used go scoop her up and take her home on occasion as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Not a word said about the state she was in. Her favourite line of abuse was usually that one of us had pinched her purse Grin

Made for a few awkward moments in the office the next day.

But yes, it just became 'oh thats X, don't worry about her, she's always like that' Sad

VivaLeBeaver · 10/10/2011 12:28

I know someone a bit like this, she's not an alcoholic and doesn't drink at home. Only drinks on social occasions which are few and far between as she has small kids so does tend to get a bit merry at times.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 12:33

You sure do know how to have a good time, having a good laugh behind the womans back.

Horrible.

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:34

read the thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:35

In fact, I am introducing a new acronym: RTT

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 12:35

And judging by how different your OP is to your other posts, I think you thought you'd come on here and we could all have a good laugh about her?

TheRhubarb · 10/10/2011 12:35

Nice on Hully, mind if I use it myself?

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 12:36

Was the 'read the thread' to me OP?

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:36

I think we could all use it Rhubs, and when particulalry aggrieved, RTFT

OP posts:
Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:36

yes

OP posts:
Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:37

No. RTT.

Oh never mind.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 12:37

If the yes was to me as well, I have read it thanks.

TheRhubarb · 10/10/2011 12:38

Someone falling into their plate IS funny.
Everyone ignoring the great big fat elephant in the room IS funny.

I guess Agent that you are the kind of person who tuts at You've Been Framed.
And I read the OP that Hully was asking if it's normal to gauge a sense of what, if anything, she needed to do to help the woman.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 12:39

I understood the OP thanks Rhubarb0.

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 12:39

She wasn't funny, and it wasn't embarrassing - just weird. Weird, because it was unacknowledged. A great big drunk elephant in the room type thing.

The host is one of my best friends so we just rolled our eyes at each other as I left and said pore ol her, why on earth does she do it?

Hardly laughing AT her, Agent.

OP posts:
ClarenceDarrow · 10/10/2011 12:40

You clearly have no understanding of alcoholism. Probably an idea to either learn or at least dont show your ignorance so readily.

PinotScreechio · 10/10/2011 12:41

No no Hully - RTFT.

I hate myself for sniggering inappropriately at this. Bad Pinot

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 12:42

'not laughing where she can see.'

Oh, have I misunderstood this bit then?

Or are you backtracking?

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