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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel resentment over cliquey parents at school

421 replies

MothInMyKecks · 06/10/2011 17:39

Just left a kiddie's party, 4-5, where my little one was the only one to turn up. Angry, and he had a broken wrist so couldn't exactly join in on the bouncy castle. Birthday boy is 5 today and his little face broke my heart. He bounced madly for the best part of half the party whilst me and his Mum made small talk.

I know, I just fucking know that the clique of parents in this class made a decision to not go, because the child is a bit messy, doesn't speak (elective mute), his mother is a bit of a loner, he has no Dad, they're a bit skint. FFS, it was a party and no other kid turned up. I know some parents had to work etc, but I know this class and their parents and many fuckers decided to not go because he's not in the clique. Twating parents. If they could only have seen his face. I never imagined a 5 year old could be humiliated, but I saw it written all over his little face.

And his mother is brassick, totally skint, yet she'd paid out good money to pay for this. Table was laden with food and no fucker turned up.

Sorry - no doubt will get a flaming by some, but I don't feel the need to don a flame proof coat or hat because I'm boiling with anger already Sad

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 06/10/2011 19:08

I wouldn't give the other parents a piece of my mind but I think I might say that I was there with my dc and no one at all else turned up, that the little boy had been so upset, you could see it written all over his face and the whole thing had been very sad to witness

TheRealMBJ · 06/10/2011 19:08

Oh this has me crying SadSadSad. And Angry. What FUCKING BASTARDS

How do they sleep at night?

I hope that if anyone that is reading this thread has ever done something like this, that they are utterly, utterly ashamed of themselves?

Disgusting.

Original poster
MothInMyKecks · 06/10/2011 19:09

I'm on good terms with 2 other Mum's - they're decent sorts so I can't understand what's going on.

One has replied and said that she'd text the Mum to say that she couldn't go and had sent a birthday card and little gift in this morning. I've not heard anything else. I gave her my reply in person since I was in the school the day it was given out, and I caught her on my way out of the school reception to say 'Thank you, we'll be there'. If I'd have imagined for a nanosecond, that no one would show up, I would have taken a deep breathe and said something. FGS.

OP posts:
Original poster
MothInMyKecks · 06/10/2011 19:10

I live about 8 miles out of Wrexham, the Welsh side, so effectively, our little one's are in their 3rd year at school.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 06/10/2011 19:12

Gosh what about the other 29?

SomekindofSpanish · 06/10/2011 19:14

This is a really sad situation.

This happened to a boy in DS1's class, except it was not for SEN reasons but because the boy had moved from a less 'MC' school and part of town.

I befriended her and DS1 loved her son and she told me she was going to hold a Hallowe'en party for the whole class. We got there and DS1 was the first so I left him and then when I went to pick him up, there were 3 more children there. I had an awful feeling that these were the only attendees so on the way home, I asked DS1 who else had been there. He said no-one.

Anyway, this family left a few weeks later and when I was talking to another mum about them, she started to sneer until I said that I had been disgusted by the welcome they had received and that hardly anyone had shown for the party. She, then, started stuttering and huffing saying she had known nothing about it Hmm.

peaceofcake · 06/10/2011 19:17

That is awful. What a set of bitches. I think if ds1 got an invite from less popular member of his class I would bust a gut to get him there. For both child whose party it was and for his benefit. I like him to play with everybody regardless of their background.

Fluffymonster · 06/10/2011 19:17

Oh what a horrible thing to happen. No child deserves that, poor little lad. I would be making an effort to befriend them, they sound like they need someone on their side. What utter snobby sh*ts the other parents were.

I would say something to the other parents.

GodKeepsGiving · 06/10/2011 19:19

Bonsoir, I really do hope that your child is never rejected in this way, as mine and others have been. I am surprised that you could be so unkind about such a sensitive subject. Perhaps in this situation it is your social skills that require honing. Not all school bullies are children and excluding others or tacitly ruining a child's birthday is utterly hateful.

maybunny · 06/10/2011 19:19

This brought tears to my eyes - can't really add to what others have said, but really just wanted to say how sorry I feel for that little boy, and you for having such a bunch of nasty people as parents at your lo school! :-(

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 19:20

that is Shock SKOS some people are just foul.

northernrock · 06/10/2011 19:21

I just can't believe anyone has such an uneventful and dreary life they would feel the need to even have a playground clique.
No whole class parties for us, I think (thanks pigletmania) and I would always invite non school friends too just in case.

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 19:21

Every party that dd has been invited to, I have attended with dd and dd has thoroughly enjoyed them, I won't say even if it is a child who is unpopular, as I think dd might be the unpopular one as she has social communication issues.

Hippomaniac · 06/10/2011 19:22

I just can't believe how cruel these people have been. That poor boy and his mum.

Unfortunately I know how that boy feels. I didn't have a birthday party until I was 7. We had only been living in the area a couple of months so my mum invited the whole class. There was another new starter in the class and she was the only 1 who turned up. I remember very well a group of the popular girls telling me that none of them could make it as they all had different weddings to go to (it was the beginning of December!!!). The rest didn't even reply. half an hour into the party my mum was frantically ringing around anyone with kids telling them to please come round just to make the numbers up. i never wanted another party after that.

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 19:22

Oh yes dd does have non school friends that would be invited too, and a few in the class that she likes in particular. Not the whole class, noway, I personally could not cope with that.

Jamillalliamilli · 06/10/2011 19:23

Veryconfused That excluding culture must come from somewhere
What I picked up was we got seen as people who didn?t really belong there in the first place, who the school had ?included?, (or added) therefore they didn?t need to, if that makes sense.

A few deliberately sought to exclude but most just followed whatever the A lister?s did with no real thought or malice.

Please don?t approach the school unless you?re sure of their reaction. Our Senco was one of the clique mum?s.

buzzgirly · 06/10/2011 19:23

This is awful. What a pile of fucking bastards (angry). Poor wee boy and his mum, they must have been so hurt. What a way to knock someone down, it makes me want to cry. There is no way that many 5 year olds would not want to go to a party

This is one of my fears for my DD as she get older, she has had some health problems and needs help when going to the toilet - I would be so devastated if this ever happened to her because of this.

Someone suggested mentioning to the school, that sounds like a good idea. Hopefully the boy is not being singled out at school as well.

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 19:23

oh no hippomaniac Sad

SomekindofSpanish · 06/10/2011 19:25

I know piglet. At least the children that were there were having a ball when I arrived, singing karaokee...very badly Grin

mummylikescava · 06/10/2011 19:25

This happened to a little girl at my childrens school.

She has SN - ADHD I think. My children weren't invited as they weren't in her class anymore but my friends daughter was. Friends daughter hid the invitation so that she wouldn't have to go. My friend was really upset - felt sick for the poor child. Apparently only one other child turned up. This girl was older though - maybe 8 or 9. I actually know her a bit as she used to be in the same class as my 2 and they did go to each others parties in reception. She's a really nice girl - not nasty at all just tends to say whats on her mind - I could have cried for her when I found out.

She never gets invited to any of the parties as it's "uncool" to be friends with her. This thread has reminded me of her and I'll make damn sure she gets an invite to my kids party.

At 5 though the parents will surely be still going through the schoolbags themselves rather than relying on the kids to give them letters etc. Fucking bastards.

Fecklessdizzy · 06/10/2011 19:29

GAH! Angry Sad

I only came on for a quick lurk because I'm at work and bored now I want to charge off to MothInMyKeck's 'hood and start banging people's heads together.

Fucking unbelievable. Scum.

I'm all cross and upset, I can imagine the poor kid and his Mum ... God, what a bunch of bitches!

AttillaTheMum · 06/10/2011 19:30

OP If I was you I would make it my personal MISSION to find out what on earth happened and make the other mums feel as bad as possible AngryAngryAngryAngryAngrySadSadAngryAngryAngryAngry

ThePathanKhansWoman · 06/10/2011 19:30

How awful, so cruel. What a terrible thing to do. It's really hard to understand

i hope the child and his mum make some decent friends.

What a bunch of mean hearted bitches.

MrsMeow · 06/10/2011 19:31

MothInMyKecks I remember this happening to a little girl when my DD was in reception, us and one other girl were the only ones to turn up to a party at a soft play place that must have cost the mum a fortune. I just wanted to cry when it became evident that no one else was coming. I'm sure it was just because the mum was a bit 'eccentric'

Funnily enough, I must live quite near to you as W is our nearest big town. Maybe it's quite common in this neck of the woods? :(

iMemoo · 06/10/2011 19:31

Up until having dd 2 years ago I worked as a TA in a reception class. Kids of that age usually always want to go to any party. There is no way that 29 kids didn't want to go. Nasty bastard parents!

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