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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to worry nursery is overfeeding my ds?

80 replies

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:14

ds1 is 3.8 and we used to to provide a packed lunch, while nursery provided morning and afternoon snacks.

now they have decided to provide breakfast, morning snack, lunch and tea (at 4pm). we saw a sample menu and I worried that
(1) he wouldn't want dinner when he got home, when we normally eat together each night
(2) that the menu was high in salt and sugar.

I talked to the nursery, and they have restricted him to pudding with lunch but not tea. a friend also reassured me that her dd has this number of meals at nursery and still comes home hungry.

new regime has started this week. last night ds was too full to eat with us. today he woke at really grumpy, and I wonder if that relates to not having eaten for 15 hours. he had breakfast with us, then snack (he doesn't remember what), lunch (curry, rice, carrot sticks, apple pie, custard) and tea (crackers, cheese, strawberry milkshake, fruit) at nursery. he has come home too full to eat again, and his belly is hard and distended (honestly, I'm not exaggerating).

perhaps because he doesn't get puddings at home, or much sweet stuff except as treats he is loading up on them now they're available at nursery? it certainly seems like he's eaten too much, and I am dreading another grumpy morning if he wakes with low blood sugar. I also miss eating with him in the evenings.

I want to go back and talk to the nursery again about portion size, but the first time they acted like I was a bit mad tbh, and said other parents were happy not to have to cook for their dc at home (so their dc's entire day's food would be between 8am-4pm).

before I go back to them, dp has suggested I ask MN. so with apologies for the length of this post, AIBU to ask nursery what they can do so he comes home hungry for a small tea with his family?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 05/10/2011 19:18

i don't think they're overfeeding him. the food sounds fine to me.
I also think it's kind of mean to say he cn't have pudding if the other children are having it, but that's up to you

is there a reason you can't just give him a light supper later in the evening? 6.30ish? just some toast or something?

ThePumpkinKing · 05/10/2011 19:20

What time do you pick him up? Could he skip the crackers and cheese/milkshake?

And what time would you eat your evening meal with him normally?

rubyslippers · 05/10/2011 19:20

What thisisyesterday said

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:21

I offered him a light supper, he said he was too full, yesterday and today.

I don't want him thinking it is normal to have two puddings a day. I don't know anyone who eats two puddings a day! but perhaps I am mean

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:22

we pick him up between 5 and 5.30, they have tea at 4, so he can't really skip it. then we normally eat together about 6, and get the kids ready for bed.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 05/10/2011 19:23

fruit is hardly pudding is it. it's just a snack

happygilmore · 05/10/2011 19:23

But wasn't the second pudding just fruit or have I missed something?

I think at that age he would just eat whatever he needed so would leave him to it.

IHeartKingThistle · 05/10/2011 19:24

I feel a bit sorry for him having to watch all the others have pudding!

Both mine have had the same sort of meals at nursery. DD didn't have anything else in the evening, DS now sits with us and often eats dinner, but on nursery days we don't worry if he doesn't eat much.

More of an issue if he goes every day, and I can see why you wouldn't want to lose your family mealtime.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:25

yes, he had fruit for the second pudding, which was substituted by the nursery at our request. the menu said chocolate muffin.

happy, so you think IABU to want to eat together in the evenings and avoid him going 15 hours without any food?

OP posts:

talkingnonsense · 05/10/2011 19:26

I think feeding them a proper tea at 4 is odd, surely just a small snack would be more appropriate? I often have 2 puddings a day, but agree with you I would want my dc to want an evening meal with me.

pranma · 05/10/2011 19:26

You know he'd be better with just cereal or fruit or a yoghurt at 6 before bed.Its not good to go to bed on a full stomach.If you are eating at 6 you presumably have a long gap with maybe a light snack before bed.The menu sounds good to me.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:27

he goes 4 days IHeart.

OP posts:

Iggly · 05/10/2011 19:27

Why not give a light snack or let him sit with you and he can eat if he wants at tea time. Or give him some milk and a snack before bed.

If his tummy looks distended, try a sip of peppermint tea to help.

Also if he's grumpy in the morning, give him something as soon as he wakes up?

thisisyesterday · 05/10/2011 19:28

when you have him at home all day does he not eat any snacks between lunch and dinner then?

i only ask cos my nearly 4 year old would happily eat crackers, cheese, fruit and a drink (and a muffin given half the chance) as a snack and then still want dinner later

StrandedBear · 05/10/2011 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:29

pranma I'd be happy for him to have just a fruit or yoghurt while we eat. it's about eating together, not about eating specific food. but he said he was too full to eat anything (and he loves fruit and yoghurt, so it's not that I was expecting him to eat food he doesn't like).

OP posts:

happygilmore · 05/10/2011 19:29

I don't think yabu, just think that young children generally eat what they need so he must be hungry when they feed him. I'd offer a light snack at tea too.

ThePumpkinKing · 05/10/2011 19:30

If eating together is important to you, have him skip the crackers and cheese.

Otherwise, let him sit with you while you eat, and eat if he wants to. It's good that he doesn't eat for the sake of it, he knows when he's full.

The other option is for you to use another childcare provider, but that seems a bit extreme, as surely he'll be at school soon.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:31

tiy yes, he'll have a morning and afternoon snack, but they're normally something like 2 biscuits and a cup of milk, or a piece of fruit. not fruit, and crackers, and cheese, and milk(shake). would your dd really eat a full dinner after all that?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 05/10/2011 19:31

If you are not picking him up until 5, and he has eaten at 4, he was bound to be hungry at 4.. and would be starving if he had to wait until 6 to eat from lunchtime..

thisisyesterday · 05/10/2011 19:32

yes mine really would!

WilsonFrickett · 05/10/2011 19:32

When my DS went into the 'big room' at nursery they stopped giving them tea, apparently that's the guidelines in Scotland (?) so that DCs do eat with their parents at night. Tbh I was a bit peeved as I would have preferred him to have his tea at nursery at that time, I felt it was too late to wait for pick-up, get home, get organised, feed DS kind of thing.

I don't think there's any thing wrong with the food he's getting and I don't think they really overeat at that age, but I would be more worried about not eating together, if that's important to you as a family.

thisisyesterday · 05/10/2011 19:33

why not just ask for him to be given less then? that way he doesn't have to miss out at nursery and he'll still be hungry enough for some tea at home

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 05/10/2011 19:33

I can't ask him to skip an afternoon snack altogether when his friends are eating it, nor do I want him going from lunch at 12 to dinner at 6 with no food. he will be at school soon, but the dts have just turned one and will be starting there next week, so we have years of this to come. but perhaps they will have different appetites?

OP posts:

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 05/10/2011 19:35

Personally I think you're making a big old fuss about nothing major tbh. It sounds like your DS has a good appetite which isnt a bad thing at all. He can still sit with you and your DH in the evening can't he?

Also as a side note, love the irony of an OP with chocoholic in their screen name worrying about her son's sugar intake

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