to worry nursery is overfeeding my ds?

[MamaChocoholic]

ds1 is 3.8 and we used to to provide a packed lunch, while nursery provided morning and afternoon snacks.

now they have decided to provide breakfast, morning snack, lunch and tea (at 4pm). we saw a sample menu and I worried that
(1) he wouldn't want dinner when he got home, when we normally eat together each night
(2) that the menu was high in salt and sugar.

I talked to the nursery, and they have restricted him to pudding with lunch but not tea. a friend also reassured me that her dd has this number of meals at nursery and still comes home hungry.

new regime has started this week. last night ds was too full to eat with us. today he woke at really grumpy, and I wonder if that relates to not having eaten for 15 hours. he had breakfast with us, then snack (he doesn't remember what), lunch (curry, rice, carrot sticks, apple pie, custard) and tea (crackers, cheese, strawberry milkshake, fruit) at nursery. he has come home too full to eat again, and his belly is hard and distended (honestly, I'm not exaggerating).

perhaps because he doesn't get puddings at home, or much sweet stuff except as treats he is loading up on them now they're available at nursery? it certainly seems like he's eaten too much, and I am dreading another grumpy morning if he wakes with low blood sugar. I also miss eating with him in the evenings.

I want to go back and talk to the nursery again about portion size, but the first time they acted like I was a bit mad tbh, and said other parents were happy not to have to cook for their dc at home (so their dc's entire day's food would be between 8am-4pm).

before I go back to them, dp has suggested I ask MN. so with apologies for the length of this post, AIBU to ask nursery what they can do so he comes home hungry for a small tea with his family?

By 'back off' I mean 'relax' :)

so many replies!

natation if you are going to send your child to nursery you just have to accept... ds has been at this nursery 2 years. this is a new regime, started this week, without consultation, which is costing us a 30% increase in fees. is it really wrong for me to ask them to adjust it so it suits our family? if ds talks to me about not being allowed what other kids have, then I will explain. but tbh he prefers fruit to cake anyway (odd boy).

OriginalFAB I don't want to make him eat when he's not hungry. I would like him to be hungry enough to eat something small with the rest of his family at teatime.

Silverstar I know! I think that's partly why I'm hung up on establishing it as a routine now.

those saying he's just tired, well, this refusal of all tea has coincided with these new meals at nursery. he used to eat with us.

Bartlett I am going to see how things go for a bit. you do realise I will now be scrutinising every parent at nursery trying to work out if they look like a West Wing fan in my line of work, don't you?

I DO think YABU to ask the nursery to adjust things to suit your family OP - you do that with a Nanny not a nursey imo.

When I was in this morning, I checked the menu. Our DSs are definitely in the same place! [stalker smiley]

Haven't read all the other posts but could he still have his 4pm tea at nursery, without the pudding, then when he's at home with you later on in the evening, he could have his pudding then, so you feel he is eating with you and being part of the family around the table? Or maybe a hot chocolate and some raisens?