To have a baby at 45?

[Hope88]

I am thinking about having another child. But I would like to have a bigger gap between children which means I would be getting near 45. If it all goes well. Do you think it's selfish to have a child at 45? I just think I would be a better mother if I wait opposed to rushing into it and being really stressed out. Your thoughts please.

I am 46 be! I never said I was a young Mum, I had him at 27(a reasonable age).

Dear me, who would have said. And I thought at least wisdom come with age.

Em...think you getting off the point a bit bemy.
Silly old Yellow, I love being in my forties, especially having had my first at 27. We can go out lots (15 yr old babysits 11 yr old) and are young enough with enough energy to do so.

Of course we laughed, some of them had zimmer frames!

Why would you laugh at someone who had was unfortunate enough to need a zimmer frame?

I was suggesting you don't have much life experience if you can laugh at people who are different to you (and then think it's ok to transfer this quality onto your children).

Of course it was a stupid comment, hence the wink at the end. But no more stupid that assuming I am controlling simply for controlling my fertility or that others on this thread are just old with issues.

The OP asked for advice, which she got. You're the only one on here who started being snide. If people feel ready emotionally and financially to have babies in their 20s then fine. I have no issue with that. It doesn't mean I wanted that for me or that my reasons for waiting meant I was a control freak. My kids will be who they are due to their genes and upbringing. Nothing to do with my age. And really, when/if we drop them at uni I think the last thing on their minds will be comparing their parents to all the others especially as almost all other parents they know now are a similar age to their own.

No val, we didn't see anyone with zimmers, (though some pretty ancients )just getting a 'rise' out of some rather highly strung women!

Go for it Lamzig :) I am forty three and having my first. I have not ruled out trying for another later on.

Better than being mistaken for their big sister though!

hairy good luck to you and to your baby!

I'd be hoping to wind down around that age, doing less and less childcare type stuff tbh, but each to their own. My two will be 21 and 18 by that point so should be out earning a living!

I thought all teenagers were embarrassed by their parents, regardless of age, anyway?

I have reported this drivel hairy. Thank god she is in a minority here.

Thanks you more positive people :) F**k the begrudgers, as my dear old Dad used to say :)

thank you 'bemybebe*.

Good luck with the baby, Hairylights! You're only as old as the woman you feel as DH is fond of saying!

thanks loving

Glad to see the vileness is in the minority here.

(I have a younger man, so perhaps I can flip that to 'you're only as old as the man you feel').

yes, I'm sure the old saying works both ways!

Actually I agree with aisling-and I think too many posters on here are taking her clearly tongue in cheek comments far too personally1

Its true that it is better for a women to have her kids younger-ideally in her early twenties. It is only the fact the society has changed so much with the majority of women pursueing careers that we now think that older mothers are normal. This is not to say that older women would not make good parents but it is not the ideal.

I would advise anyone in the late 30's/40;s to get on with having dcs if they want them-I have 3 good friends who waited for various reasons and now cant have kids.