To have a baby at 45?

[Hope88]

I am thinking about having another child. But I would like to have a bigger gap between children which means I would be getting near 45. If it all goes well. Do you think it's selfish to have a child at 45? I just think I would be a better mother if I wait opposed to rushing into it and being really stressed out. Your thoughts please.

They are for us Kat, my Dad can tell them stories and details about generations gone by and my kids listen and love it!
I had a very strong, close relationship with my G/ma. She died when I was 24.

Quite right re GP thing loving.

I'm with Notan - I had 3 DSs and then a 4th accidental one 8 yrs after. Announcing the last was very strange and some of the shocked looks were very amusing. My oldest also refused to push the buggy when out with me and the baby, the first time he did this we got some obviously confused looks with people trying to work out the relationships.
He is SO lovely with my DS4 though, it was a real eye opener, he was like my au pair until he upped and left for uni last week! (sobs quietly into her gin). The others are great with him too and really help out with taking him to play footy, bathing him, reading him stories etc. I think they will all make great dads - either that or never have children! .

YANBU, go for it.

I think the OP must have been frightened off.

Really pleased to see the positive response. I had my first baby at 42 (not through choice, it took us 10 years) and I do know that I am more relaxed and enjoy it more than I would have at 32 (havent found it particularly tiring so far either. I am thinking of trying again (now 44), so its so nice to see that people dont think its that unusual.

My Dad was in his forties when he had me, in his 80's now and he goes on anti-globalisation marches, gets involved in local politics, is very up on new things (had to have an i-phone the minute they came out) and goes on long walks and plays tennis still (hoping I inherit those genes) - much more active and lively than my FIL who is twenty years younger.

I think if you are well and you are happy to take the risk of it not happening then its fine to wait.

Good post Lambzig. Each to his or her own.

You haven't touched a nerve at all Aisling, don't flatter yourself on that one either .

Since you're absurdly competitive on the age front, I might as well point out that in terms of dropping a third child off at uni, you'll be older than I was. So in absolute terms, I win. (It doesn't sound as though your vanity would allow you to go on to have eight).

It's absurd and rather cruel to laugh, what an unpleasant attitude, very superficial indeed.

Agree Lambzig and I think it's possible that having a child 'late' helps keep the mum physically and mentally young.

Now you are being ridiculous and/or deliberately provocative!

There is nothing in any of my posts to indicate that I am controlling unless you have assumed that from the fact that I controlled my fertility until I felt ready to have a baby. Isn't that what the vast majority of responsible adults do?

Of course my level of involvement will depend on them. Though technically if I wanted to refuse I could though why would I? I am more than happy to either be a 3 times a year GP or see them more often or whatever suits my DCs, their spouses and their lives. Why would I ever expect it to be any different? I just haven't given the whole GP thing much thought considering Ive only just stopped having babies 3wks ago!

Aisling feeling all sweaty under the collar?

I'm very fit thanks Aisling, I just find your purportedly ageist I Love Me comments ridiculous.

You seem to care very much how old people are, your earlier posts show that.

Going or not going to university isn't a particular indicator of independence of mind.

Wow! What silly bitchiness nikos and bemy ! What is whether I went to Uni or not got to do with anything?
Sweaty be (no, not menopausal just yet!).
I enjoy getting a rise out of people like you...but I'm bored now!

Aisling the strongest message I'm getting from you is that it's okay to laugh at a) old people and b) anyone who decides/is forced to do things differently from you.

You're beaten, not bored.

Yes, I had heard that 'young' mums have a shorter attention span and bore easily!

No Yellow, bit bored now.
Kit 's getting shirty!
The point has been made several times, reasonably young mother is best! Accept it, you know it's true!

Don't be silly loving! What a stupid comment!

What a scary world over 40 will be for you Aisling. Hahaha.

I will come soon enough for you though.

Aisling you were not a 'young mum'.

Reasonably non judgey,nice,kind,open minded Mother is best!

She's 45 now bemybebe. She can't deal with it though .